Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
I've came across a blog that says things fairly true..
People from other places just merely have it at a natural garden and all but we Malaysians NEED to have it in hotels, RM500++ per table restaurants..
What about after married?
Left nil?
That's what I always mention to the other half that ain't need to be THAT grand..
Who's paying the bills for us when we have our own family, right?
Marriage is a pure union not a union that has to fork out the whole Vitamin M..
Or, let's make it bad: you're selling your daughter?
I hope my old folks will not do this to me
*Sigh*
Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
Let me give an example.
It is a little bit long example. If you want to skip it, there is a summary at the end.
Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a carrier
as an executive officer working somewhere in KL with a salary, say RM2000 per month and without any saving in the bank.
Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods, transportation (public or motorcycle), electricity, water, phone, house rent and other expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most. Then, because you are a good son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about RM300 per month. This will
give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you are very discipline with
your budget, so you save about RM5000.
The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you
plan to get married after one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you
time to save some more money and some more time to prepare the basic
necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to live under. That year
because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%.
Since you are also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for her. Like the previous year, after much sweat and Meggie-eating months, you save another RM5000. Your company is doing ok. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, another RM4000 is added to your saving. So, your total saving now is RM14,000. You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, you net saving that year is RM6000.
The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because now you have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is cut down to about RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year. No bonus that year because your company is doing poor. So, your total saving in the bank is RM11,000. Then, you decide to get engaged with your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an engagement ring. RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your net saving that year is RM9,500.
The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted. Your
salary now is 1.5 of your starting salary at the company. Good news! You think. "Ok, this year
I will get married". You also are 'gersang' already. :)
So, you ask your fiancée "how much is the dowry (hantaran)? "
She say, "berapa-berapa yang u sanggup".
You ask,"RM5000 ok?".
She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia kata grad oversea macam I ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!".
Your eyes 'terjegil', air liur 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot.
"Where else in the world can I get extra money?", you say to yourself. But, because you are very determined to get married with your dream girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year until you are awarded "The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months of bonus. You also do some side business to supply ayam pencen. So, roughly your net saving at the end of that year is RM20,000.
Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving in the bank to pay for the dowry. But then, come your mom saying,"Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti la buat grand grand. Kita sewa khemah besar-besar, jemput penyanyi ke artis ke sorang dua datang buat persembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje la ya? RM10 je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, kita sewa yg cantik-cantik
dan mahal-mahal sket. Kita jemput dalam 1000 orang datang ok?"
You did a quick in-the-head-calculation,
"1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!"
You say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?"
Your mom replies,"Apa pulak membazirnya? Kau kawin sekali je seumur hidup.
`Biarlah buat betul-betul." You insist,"Tapi mak?"
Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran kita tu buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri puan sri lagi datang. Mana la mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".
Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after marriage that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have debts around your waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot afford to pay them, you wife gets tired of you asking money from her, she accuses you of being irresponsible husband for not being a good provider, blah blah blah? At the
end, you two go into separate ways? You get divorced.
Problem breeds problem? Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing in our country.
The above example may not represent the whole phenomena in our culture, but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple these days are facing in getting married from my perspective.
The Root Cause of The Problem...
There is something wrong in our culture. I really think there are some practices in our culture in Malaysia (Malay culture specifically) that do not make sense and especially they are contrary to the teaching of Islam. These practices are well-rooted in our culture that
unfortunately because of them, many people are 'afraid' to get married, or simply feel like they cannot afford when they are actually can afford. These are some of my observation and summary analysis:
(1) Marriage should be done in the most modest way but in Malaysia, it is ought to be done in the most lavish way. Competition on whose wedding is the most grandeur is almost unavoidable. Fame is usually the reason why people spend unreasonable and wasteful amount of money for a wedding.
(2) The "price" of a woman is measured according to her perhaps educational status not according to her knowledge and understanding of Deen and piety as suggested by the religion. The saddest thing is that "price" is put on women, who are supposed to be, if God-loving, kind-hearted and pious ones, "priceless"! 'Dowry' system is adopted by the Malays from perhaps the Indians who came to Malaysia long time ago. When the 'dowry' is put too high and men can't afford to pay, marriage is usually delayed or canceled. An effort to build another small brick unit of this Deen is delayed or perhaps destroyed only for this reason.
(3) Marriage should be a quick and easy process for the couple not hard,
which eventually becomes a burden. These days, we make marriage so complicated that people are afraid of getting married. When I was in the Sydney, I saw Muslim brothers and sisters getting married at the mosque, with just some sweets as the main course for the guests. The guests who were invited to witness the ceremony were usually whoever
prayed jemaah at the mosque or some close relatives and friends. There
is no point of being extravagance. We should focus on the life after wedding not the wedding
itself. Wedding is only a door to the marriage house. Why should we spent a lot of money to decorate the door so beautifully, when the inside of the house is then left empty, dark and unattractive?
...and the pressure is on men...
This great source is from: http://ninanurziana.blogspot.com/2010/05/nape-lelaki-kawin-lambat.html
Expressed and Shared @ 12:18:00 PM |
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Thursday, September 9, 2010
Miranda Cosgrove - Kissing You
I love this song!!!!
Have you ever came across a song that reminds you of someone? ;)
Sparks fly
It's like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's
No where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops
Like everything around me
Is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things
I've never seen
'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you
When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you
Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this till
I knew it was right for me
But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed
I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears
'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you
When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you
I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love
Expressed and Shared @ 12:43:00 PM |
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Monday, September 6, 2010
3 chapters~ and going??!!
It was the time of the year again~
This is like,
The first occasion like this that comes in part..so:
这一个时间又到了。。
但，第一次好像有很多 chapter 的。。
Part 1:
As I ventured myself into this interest of mine, I decided to suck up my courage to make something for an occasion..
Though I’m still a chicken to make something for a large crowd but I’m brave enough to try on a small scale basis..like those people around me will be my lab rats =P
我要试做一个。。
所以，他变成我的白老鼠 =P
With that, my result:
Okie, so the 1st trial failed..thus I wasted 7 eggs in total..*Sigh*
**don't tell dad
我的到的结果
第一的不成功
我浪费了七粒蛋
I was very unsatisfied with it because my cake jadi..only the meringue, which was the final step killed the whole cake so..my 2nd trial:
*Viola!*Behold my success!!!
Baked Alaska: ice cream cake
我很不满意
最後的 step 让我的蛋糕不成功
我又在试过！
我成功了！！！！
Baked Alaska: ice cream 蛋糕
I started at 9PM and ended up at around 12AM..Not bad though for the 3 hours..for this 3 step cake..
I even need to do it a day earlier for the ice cream..but I still FAIL to make my own ice cream..*Sigh*
It doesn't freeze like it supposed to be..its still creamy..hmm..I wonder why~
So, I have no choice to cheat by buying the ice cream instead.. =(
This is the most energy using cake I've ever made, since I don't even have an electric hand mixer, I used my own "manual hand" to mix with the beater and boy, I think I've gain muscles overnight!
我晚上九点开始做到早上十二点。。三个中。。okiela~
也要早一天做 ice cream 但还没成功
最後， 我 cheated。 我买 ice cream
这一个是罪用力的。。我没有 electric hand mixer 所以没颁发要用 "manual hand" to mix
我突然很有 muscles 了！
I was so extremely tired but..waited till 1AM it was tasted and..waited for our main person too long and the ice cream inside could no longer wait for the owner to claim and melted off =(
After that speedy blow off and cutting ceremony, I partly died throughout the night already..too exhausted in being the "electric" mixer
我很累但要等到 the owner 到。。
等到一点。。等到 ice cream 都不要等了。。“他”睡了。。
Part 2:
Pictures says it all..
The waiting
The main course 1
Main course 2
Appetizer? =P but a hell expensive one
The culprit for the meal..okie But rather costly..yours truly is broke for this month..so shoo! Don't request money from me..
还好但是很贵
就是这样我，没有钱了
shoo!
不要问我钱！
Part 3:
Friends outing WITHOUT me so no cerita!
Expressed and Shared @ 9:33:00 AM |
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