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NUFFNANG

• The educator? The parent or the tutor?
• Long Lost Post
• A change
• [no title]
• humans need companion
• MOney Money Money
• oops..when you turned 24
• unsure
• 错了但是放不下
• Caught in the middle

September 2008
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Yada, yada. Nothing much here yet


Current obsession:
GetItHere! lalala~ :D


**in progress..hehe

Had a brief chat with my long lost friend..

Suddenly he said:
before you tgk kebaikkan orang
you tgk dulu apa yg jahat tentang diorg
because, utk buat baik, kadang kala ada sebab
but buat jahat, takde sebab
make sure dia boleh hold tanggungjawab
sebab mostly orang2 skang ni
diorg cuma tahu bercinta jer
but tak tahu mcm mana nk pikul tanggungjawab
selain love
you kena care
you kena jaga
and you kena guide your partner

Fact taken..i also believe in
you can't only depend only on love and ignore others
What are others?
Like financial wise
Like education wise
Like living lifestyle wise

If no financial..how are you going to start a family? Not about the grown ups like us but the little rascals that you're going to have..
Not OUR education but also the little rascal's education..
Living lifestyle, the love and warmth of a family that suppose to have..yourself, your partner and the little rascals..

Some say so money minded
Well, its up to you to think about it..you think its so easy to just make a baby and that's it?
What's difficult is AFTER getting one..because we need to mould a new life into someone who is not "sampah masyarakat"
We also tak mau let the little kid merana kan?
How do you like to see your kids in a home with other kids because you're unable to provide them what they need as a child?

Educating, really allows my eyes to see more..
Mostly are wealthy kids from all areas..
Pampered..stuck up..disrespectful..treat you like dirt..
But this time I had a chance to feast my eyes on the other side of the story..

Its tough..
I shouted my lungs out..because there's too many of them..
I scolded because a kid said "Shit"..
I got miscommunications because some of the kids do not understand English or even our national language..
I got frustrated because i said "bulan warna kuning" and they coloured yellow BUT 1 asked "ni kuning kan??"

But at the end, I learn something from them also..
The home looks well polished..
With a decent area for education..
Thank you to the kind founder that set up this home without the hesitation of financial or deeds repayment from the extremely poor and those who do not have homes to shelter here until they turned 18 to be free as a bird..

I'm thankful to the personal who had assigned me to provide my service for the home although at times i really find it difficult to control a whole load of them with a vast difference in age gap among them..

I'm not that well off myself till i'm able to give them a helping hand..but I'll try to do my part the best i can..

They don't look or seem pityful from the eye but me, being a person who had seen both realm, the extremely wealthy and not..made me see what is within their heart instead of what that can be seen merely just by the eye..

It not the eye that tells you how to think..its your heart that does it

I daresay i can't provide a wealthy background for a rascal at anytime of my life..
But the ability to provide the RIGHT background instead of a filthy weathly background is more important..isn't it?
Its true when people say Too much of something or too little of something is bad
Things had to be moderate in life..
Life has to be multitasking..
A little bit of here and there makes up something

Current obsession:

教室裏那台風琴叮咚叮咚叮嚀
像你告白的聲音
動作一直很輕
微笑看你送完信
轉身離開的背影
喜歡你字跡清秀的關心

那溫熱的牛奶瓶
在我手中握緊
有你在的地方
我總感覺很窩心
日子像旋轉木馬
在腦海裏轉不停
出現那些你對我好的場景

你說過牽了手就算約定
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像來不及許願的流星
再怎麼美麗也只能是曾經
太美的承諾因為太年輕
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像是精靈住錯了森林
那愛情錯的很透明

太美的承諾因為太年輕
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像是精靈住錯了森林
那愛情錯的很透明

**对不起**



Hmm..how should i put this..
It normal for a person to change ONLY when it is needed right?
Once my supervisor said: you only do something only if you needed it
Which is true..I'm no excel savvy but i'm lazy to learn it..i only learn it when i'm forced to because i need it for my work wise..
I admit, in this case because i have no interest at all
But if in a case that i have in interest in, i would naturally hands on working on it till a savvy..

I finally told the other party that there are other parties wants to be other parties..
So only this period other party only begin to show "jin zhang" in me..
If only two can be combined into 1 person..
It'll be perfect then..

An experienced person told me "Must know what you want..not only good..there's other factor you need to see"
So what i wanted?
I already had that answer
But at times things doesn't go the way it is in life huh?

If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty



Take 1:
People around here were asking each other what they got for valentine..

A lady just rubbed her belly which indicates that he gave her a baby..alright..so we said we only want to know you're pregnant but not more than that..ahaha~

Another married man said "NOthing, when you're married already, no valentine for my wife"

Then the other chips in and say,"you're wife made you pregnant instead is it?"

Take 2:
How does the internet or the computer or whatever want me to read journals when the bleeding acrobat can't load??!!!

Take 3:
We eat and eat and EAT..it's forever eating here..i'm worried now..

Take 4:
Due to my great patience in waiting, after the two new years that had passed, its already passed my borderline..hence, i sent a warning letter to the respective company for not being able to pay me for the hard work i had done for them..

THEN, the person FINALLY called me..previously with smses that i had sent..the person..most of the time, do not reply mine..and NEVER answers my call..

Well, a letter to the company and go figure~

So the personal said: 3 days time
We'll see then

Take 5:
Anyone who has stuff to go?
Knew an orphanage that i can send it to, to help the little kids =)



This is the last day of the 5 of us here in office to "bermaharaja lela"

After today its back to the "manic monday"

The week after the actual holiday for CNY makes me feel like its a brand new year again..

Me, still sticking to my resolutions that i had made..

How much is overload means overload?
To me, if things are manageable, its not being known as overload..

What is a bad choice means a bad choice?
What do you do when at times logically, you have to choose this path but your heart says no, it is THAT path when it is logically not a right path..
Which will you follow suite?
Your heart or logic?
Some say "Don't judge with your heart"
Some say "At times, you have to listen to your heart"
So which is which?
When to listen to your heart and when to follow the logic?
This is the most difficult part in life that i hate the most..
Life is too subjective to me..too much of a gamble..yet, we still gamble our life on it..
Then, this made me ponder that..does LUCK really exist or is it just coincidence or is it just faith?
No one knows the answer..God knows..and god is like telling us
For me to know, for you to find out
if we say our prayers by asking how our future will be..

I don't want to go the wrong path~ T_T
Am i in the wrong path?

Well, whatever it is i FINALY get to makan my Lei Cha Fan

*Yay*


Okie, this is OBVIOUSLY not my picture (you tau la kan, i can't make a picture go that way =P)

God, FINALLY i'm able to indulge that delicacy again..

But most of the people around me highly dislike it..maybe due to the taste of the coriander that they had added into the bowl..

God, i feel like saying 老板,给我多一碗



I hate when someone judge something on my behalf..

For example: When we are planning for an outing or a meeting, the other party will just cut it off as they quickly end it up for me saying that i definitely can't make it when what i intend to do is to put everything in order to make all this work.

I hate it so much! and the other party loves to do that be it on me or other people..

Then, at the same time, the other party said something that made you pity them after the anger..

Then what should you do now?

Slap myself? or continue to be angry to the other person?

*Sigh*

I know..my bad..



There's a time in a situation that you're so extremely oh-so-very-bored

Jade doesn't want to study
Jade doesn't want to work
Jade doesn't want to eat
Jade doesn't want this and that
Jade is just..plain bored~

Alright so CNY is here or i should say FINALLY here..
So?

Issues that keeps you pondering and pondering are still there..
I wish time can just stand still now..
Keep all situation at it is now..
I hate changes..*Sigh*



I feel like singing along with:

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening, but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
Cause nothing's going right and
Everythings a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home

Why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind

Jade is thinking that she should slap herself up..
Wake up!!

Jade wants to blog but there are, at times..
*Sigh*
I don't know how to explain myself..

Wishing everyone a happy chinese new year and happy holidays..



Right.. so i haven't been posting photos lately.. so here are the random pictures that i snapped oh-so-very-long-ago till the most recent one due to my laziness in transferring them to my computer..

From colleagues:

Believe it or not, its an egg..


Chocolate but i ate 90% of it already..hehe


Blueberry cheese tart from Berry's bakery..


Due to CNY mood this year, this is what we did


The "worms" that Uchiyama-san given me =_="


Rock hard cheese from Buthan..many thanks to Peter-san..Its called "Hard-cheese"..
Bau yang sangat busuk but the taste is like eating plastic..

THen,

My muffins


My egg tarts and apple tarts..i know..it doesn't look that polished..but at least i tried!!


Steamed egg cake (鸡蛋糕)


MY CNY cookies =)

And, here is my hit song now, DISNEY SONGS!!! haha..don't ask why..i'll tell you why soon..god, i think its going to be fun!!i try getting pictures when i'm at it =)

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way




My colleague received a bouquet of flowers from her other half..

Argh!! All girl envied her!!

Okie, including myself that although i think its a waste and cost a lot to buy flowers during valentine's day but a girl being a girl..ahaha~

Well, at least i have 2 sticks of chocolate to humour myself here



In the morning, i had so many things in me that i wanted to blog..this and that..so very eager to do so but i can't because its not the right time..

Right..

Now, its the time that i can legally do so but i stopped dead here, looking at the screen projecting a very blank box with a blinking line in it, waiting for me to start blogging..

Well, maybe that's too much to be said that i ended up thinking "Oh, what the heck!Just forget and don't bother about it and go on like it didn't even occurred at all"

I hate people who says things harshly but asking opinions then ended up complaining about the 2 cents that the other party had given but also complain about their own 2 cents too..in a harshly manner..

Hmm..maybe i should look at the other side that the person actually didn't want your opinion at all..they just want to look for a punching bag to release tension..or just to yell at someone because they were unable to do so for a few days back as they are totally engrossed in themselves that they don't even want to just to mention a couple or few words to any other people beside them..

Shall i blame the person for that?
To me, its a no UNLESS the person just really want me as a punching bag and just dust himself or herself off and walk off..

I wonder the person knew that is what i felt when i met the person..
Anyway, i don't think the person ever give a damn at all as i can see it in the person's eyes that the person doesn't even give a damn about it..

Just my 2 cents that sometimes life..is not only a story..there are loads of storylines going on at the same time..isn't it?

Another thing i'm pondering on is..does EVERYONE loves to pick on new or a "small-fly" staff? Why doesn't the personal pick on others?

Oh, know what?? For both issues, WHATEVER!!!

I had really washed my hands off these issues and just let nature takes its path..

Just like addy once told me:
Jade, just try praying to God..ask him..which is the 1 just like i did and i really think this is the answer..

I've been doing so addy..i am..but as people usually says..god WILL give you the answer but its just a matter of WHEN..

After yesterday, i think i already had the answer from god..but he still left this doubt behind me although he given me the answer..God, why you do this to me..I'm really seeking for an answer that enables me to free myself from this..

I know..i know..you already given me but i'm the one who, unable to phantom your answer to me..okie, it takes time so god, i lay my thoughts on you for you guide me..thank you..

P/S: someone dedicated a poem to me and i would like to share it here on my blog..Thank you to the person who had written this for me but no worries okie, no matter what it is, we will still forever be friends so ain't need to miss me =)

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE
I WANT TO SHARE THE GOOD THING WITH

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN SOMETHING TROUBLING ME
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE
WHO UNDERSTAND ME SO WELL

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN I LAUGH AND CRY BECAUSE
I KNOW YOU ARE THE ONE WHO
MADE MY LAUGHTER GREW AND MY
TEAR TO DISAPPEAR

I WILL MISS YOU THE MOST
WHEN I SAY AWAKE AT NIGHT
THINKING OF ALL THE WONDERFUL
CONVERSATION AND THOSE TEXT MESSAGES
WE SHARED WITH EACH OTHER
THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST
TIME IN MY LIFE



Take 1:
As the chinese saying goes

Above your hand its flesh, the 1 below your hand is also flesh

So which will you choose?

I suddenly begin to hate life..why life has to be either or?
Why the best things can't come in one?
Why?
I just want one good "amulet" that i can depend on..
Why is it THAT difficult??!!!

*Sigh*

Take 2:
So we had to transfer babies and important enzymes and reagents to the other part of the world because in THIS world, prolong power failure will occur for 6 hours, the most..

Right, so our little babies had to sweat throughout the night while they are sleeping..

Some need to sweat some were being transferred to their new home with a new owner permanently..They ain't need our nanny service no more..

These babies are very not Malaysian..they need to be chilled..if not they will complain and whine and they mumble mumble and made noise and lastly die so we had to get heaps of dry ice to keep them happy..

ARGH!!! Hate dry ice..why? Because it killed my finger cells..got continuous frost bites..Can't feel my phalanges moving no more..*Sigh*

Take 3:
Jade is so sleepy..
Jade is very sleepy..
Jade badly wants to sleep..
Jade...ZzZ *Slap!* Wake up!!!
Just a few more hours..i WILL be able to make it!







Isn't it a beau??!!!

God it is so huge that all of us here badly wanted to keep the moth to ourselves!!

Its the world largest moth and we get to see it here!!!

Check out this website for more professional pictures but sorry the website is in Japanese as Uchiyama-san sent it to me..

http://www.geocities.jp/banpayarn/yonakunisan/yonakunisan.htm

There's another 1 hanging on the lightings but sorry to say..its large but not THAT large and not that colourful but still it is a beau for us to feast our eyes on



Omg, the real beauty of nature that made your eyes popped out while looking at it with aww..it doesn't look that inviting to you based on the photos but looking at it right in front of you..the feeling is so difficult to be described by words..

All of us were so drawn into that natural beauty that we were unable to phantom the fact that "Hey, look at who had landed here"

Truly a natural beauty



So here comes CNY

Its such a big deal that i had to work till wee hours for my mum..

She is there saying "I want this cookie, i want that cookie"

ARGH!!!

Well, i hope its the end of it by today..ahaha..

Jade Jade made a decision..
Jade Jade doesn't know is it correct or not
Jade Jade wishes its the best
Jade Jade say it MUST be the best
Jade Jade is sorry for those that will be hurt by that
Jade Jade is really really sorry (I'm sorry)
Jade Jade hopes it really worked well
Jade Jade hopes to get what she hopes for

At the same time:
Jade has so much to do
Jade has to juggle all in one
and
Jade had to neglect certain issues
Jade is really really sad and sorry about that
Jade wishes the best
Jade..doesn't know what to say..

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek; and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. [Matthew 7:7-8]

Everything is possible for him who believes [Mark 9:23]