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NUFFNANG

• The educator? The parent or the tutor?
• Long Lost Post
• A change
• [no title]
• humans need companion
• MOney Money Money
• oops..when you turned 24
• unsure
• 错了但是放不下
• Caught in the middle

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Yada, yada. Nothing much here yet


Current obsession:
GetItHere! lalala~ :D


**in progress..hehe

Thought 1:
I think i'm begining to become a blogger addict!!

Why??

Well, when someone sees something before their eyes and thinks that

Hey, i should blog this encounter

Now that is the sign!!!HAHA


Thought 2:
As i said..lots to blod but when i'm here, i'm speechless..

Well, thank you PasserBy (whoever you are) for your comment on my previous post..

I'm seriously swept off by your concern..whoever you are..i don't know how to start..i was like there are people to read my blog..it really make my day..as..sometimes there are things that i so badly wanted to share my piece of mind..but at times..you just want a stranger or your friend but not knowing who to listen to me..

By referring to my posts..its so obvious that I'm ain't a happy girl yet..

One of my friend said

well, according to my life lessons, people dun recover from emotional problems easily.....

..........and friend, you're hell right!

Thought 3:
One sentence: I'm tired..mentally, physically



Thought 1:
I think i'm drifting myself away from it..

I kept myself busy..well UNI kept it busy for me..thesis..presentation..tests..quizes..hmm..yup..that's the most of it..

I also kept myself busy other than those mentioned above..

But when the day becomes night..it's time to rest..to sleep..to means i can't keep myself busy with stuffs..I lost myself..like a car without a driver to guide it

Thought 2:
Have you ever found something that you think that..its the best but not the perfect one, of course as nothing is perfect in this world..but you're unable to grasp it?

Sometimes, this IS life huh??

A so near yet so far thingy only happens when you're known as....HUMAN...

Thought 3:
Why am i doing it backwards??

We need to CRAVE for citations or references instead of we NEED the references to refer..god!!!







very meaningful findings that i've got today..well, to me at least..many questins clouded in me..

你爱我吗？我可以这样问你吗？你给我的温柔是寂寞吗？你心里还有遗憾吗？你这样问过自已吗？你给我的拥抱是习惯吗？你是真的, 真的爱我吗？


你是否忘记了..那时候的笑容..你说过的以后..等着你, 我才发现难过..等着你的手拥抱我的寂寞.


开始在失去以后, 已经擦干了泪..为何, 还有痛

爱已经留下缺口

我的不说出的温柔

Do you love me? Can I ask you in that way?Does your gentleness to me indicates loneliness?No regrets in your heart?Have you asked yourself before? are your hugs merely just a hug?do you really really love me?

You've forgotten..those smiles in the past..the future that you've mentioned..waiting for you..i discovered misery..waiting for you hands to graps away my loneliness..

when i lost you, my tears were died, but..why is there pain??

There's a gap in this love

my unspoken tenderness



It was the day that of serious boredom where i seriously only do 1 action the whole damn day..

*sigh*





Ahead of me was a couple..sitting together..striding their own stuffs..made me think

Oh, that didn't happen to me that often previously..

I understand that the other has nothing to do..well, I seriously did not blame the other..i did told the other to join his friends instead..but I know he refuses because I know that he wants to be beside me..

What happens next??

I'm not smart enough as the other girls..Why others can be smarter, they don't need to study that way..

but i really need to study as its BIO for god's sake..

I was shell shocked..all i can say silently in my broken heart is..

I'm sorry dear..I wanted to be as good as that too..who doesn't??

I was wondering..does he knows that i was crying abt it alone and blamed myself abt it??If he knows it, maybe he might say "yea!!you should be!"

Being smart and capable in every event is definately everyone's wish..but, no one is perfect..

In that situation, i seriously wish that he doesn't sit beside me..as..honestly seeing him there, doing nothing, clouded by boredom is so painful..I seriously feel so painful abt it..does he knows that??..i'm seriously not sure abt it..

God, i hereby kneeling on my knees to pledge you to please give me the strength..you've test me in so many odds..please god..give me a good ending..every night i kneeled down to you to pray for this..for peacefulness in me..I'm really really tired with the odds that you've tested on me..and I believe i had done it well as i'm still a HUMAN..

As usual..i so badly wanted to blog..but when i'm here, i'm speechless..

It was a day that when birds chatter away with each other but we are too busy to lift our heads up and look at the chatty cute little creature..

It was a mono day to me as i did loads but not much..

Well, basically..my brain did most of the thing today..ahaha

I don't know where to start..

maybe let me start it off by saying..my friend told me

Once lover, now a stranger

made me had the urge to MUST blog today..my modem gave me its colours but by god's will i manage to pursuade it to allow me to go online..

I'm now here but..i'm speechless..
Well, when i saw that msg, i was thinking..know what??i admit that

I'm seriously NOT afraid to die..BUT i'm very very afraid to be alone

Is this what you want??I asked you NUMBER of times..you don't answer..AT ALL..and MIND YOU, "DON'T KNOW" is NOT an answer

Friends that knew abt it asked me HOw is it now? What is the situition now??

i answered Don't ask me. He left it unanswered

(to the "HE", let me here, refresh your mind)He said WAIT and not end and suddenly end..*tsk tsk*

"People" now have to walk a whole huge circle just to reach the destination that the "people" wanted to go just to avoid "this people" here..真辛苦您 (notice the "you", thank you)..burning of the extra pounds, energy and time just to AVOID..*tsk tsk*

I'm really speechless..







I had so much in my mind..

So i decided to write something here..but..when i on my computer..i was like..

what should i share on??

*sigh*i don't know..

Seriously i wish someone could really really 帶我走

I don't know..

I'm mixed..

Thought 1:
Sometimes i wonder..

Being alone is better or having the other half is better??

Many said that being alone is so very much better than being the other half..

BUt as for me, I think i prefer to have another half..

Those claimed that being alone is better because we will not be tied down..free to do whatsoever..

But as my own self, i prefer to be the other half although i can't deny that we will be tied down..

BUt, maybe for you to ponder on that

WHat are you looking for??Freedom or a life time partner when you decided to have another half??

But, i'm so shattered that..i seriously think that i will live alone although how much i wanted another half..the pain and the feeling of "hurt" overwhelm me more than the feeling of another half..

Even..SAMPAI SEKARANG you still want to hurt me??!!GOD..I'm seriously speechless

You LOVE to play those who win and who lose thingy don't you?Then now i'll be a kid like you myself now (God, can't believe i'm doing this childish manner)and tell you

Okie, you win..so i know you want to see it dead..well, i am already..so go have a jolly time with your new little princess then..

THought 2:
When i was waiting at the bus stop..I notice a girl..or a lady..or..whatever but a female..she was wearing a jeans skirt AND a long jean pants under it...i was like..WOW..that's too matching??!!ahaha..

Well, i'm definately NOT a fashion police stage girl/lady but i'm able to judge that, that is weird isn't it??hmm..well,even now, if you're wearing your shirt inside out, when someone comment on that you can be sure that even you say "its fashion" and quietly go to the toilet to wear it outside in while the other party will not realised it and look at it with a huge o shaped lips with the awe look towards you instead of "omg, you got it inside out!!"



I shouldn't be online..

I shouldn't be here blogging..

Well, i need to send some files to my friend so i had to be here..and i definately will stop by here (GOD!!I'm begining to be a blogger??!!oh wait, i AM a blogger now since i started blogging..ahaha)

I'm soo extremely tired..my slides..will she approve it??my test..will it matches the answer that it supposed to be??!!god..god..god.. i just want to leave all these crap..PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Soemtimes i think..will my next stage of life..means my working life will ever be better than now??Know what, i'm not sure myself..

but you know what??THIS IS LIFE..we need to TRY..not avoid

SO what if you fall down??Just get up and try again, isn't it??
If you don't want to stand up again, you still GOT to do so..why??because

life goes on

You think you can avoid all downs in life??well, if you think so, then go slap yourself and ponder on it again..slap yourself again if you still think its a yes because even a child will tell you that you need to get up again

SOmetimes, life is all about drama..

sometimes when people so called say things like sappy and boo hoo hoo when they don't seem like it..they just say it to make them sort of like blend into the condition to try to fake it so that they get a "good" name out of it is such a bullshit okie..

You're ain't fooling anyone but yourself..so grow up

Hmm..another busy day..day where the FYP fever is back!! with sildes and thesis writing..well, i want to say

i'm tired of it..and i mau get away from it

So there, I went to cut my hair..and i'm not sure is it a wise step to do so because..it doesn't look good to me..well, all newly cut hair seems that way, right??ahaha..well, can you believe it that they said on weekends..no stylist on duty to cut hair..i was like OMG!!! Biar betul!!..well, there's 3..erm..category..either you want the stylist, senior or a professional to chop off your hair..well, the price definately differs..if not, why have categories and definately the prof will cut it off well and neat far better than the latter two..

Anyway, i went ahead to cut and..hmm..let me wait for the hair to grow slightly longer to see is it really THAT bad!!

But one this for sure is..i can't seems to get angry with the senior hairdresser as she is nice..well, all staffs there..be it stylist, senior or prof..they are all equally nice..been there and experienced it..

thumbs up for service..keep it up



Its FRiday...FRiday means...well..basically, NOTHING special to me either..ahaha

well..i have assignments to accomplish..hmm..hope my day turns out well today =)


Well, nothing much to blog on..but i have something to share..

可以嗎讓我和你對調..
知道嗎你對我多重要只是現在的我們並不適合擁抱...
我熟悉的味道再也聞不到..
記住在你懷裡微笑

現在沒有辦法上努力微笑放光芒
我煩惱太被動並不好
自信在動搖
太衝動也不好

JUst remember that
每個人總會有一件事要比別人強

別讓昨天變圍牆 要拿今天當翅膀

愛就像高跟鞋 越美的越容易拐一下

難免受傷重要的是不要留下疤

沒有陰影才不害怕









It wasn't a good time for me but i manage to drag myself to SUnway with my friends for food..

Honestly, i did not enjoy much as i mentioned that i had to put on a mask in order to make everyone around me to enjoy the day..its not fair for me to steal that memorable moment away from them..

The food was great the movie was..so so actually..one of my mate, god, my friend really can eat!!!look at the result after approximately 4 hours of eating..everyone went home with a big, round belly..



this was the result seen from one of my mate..hehe..amazing..not 4 hours..in..i don't know..few minutes???

When everyone walked into the restaurant, everyone looked decent, pleasent, a lad and a beu but when the moment we started charging for the food, ahaha..we became beast!!!Everyone was eating at the level best to show their greed..

We got home so late that we were too tired to even yawn and move and we just slept well..with a big belly..until now, i'm kind full though!!!imagine that!!!I ate so much of ice creams and our very own Malaysian delicacies..o0o0H! not to forget the chicken wings!!!The wings were so so very popular that my friend went to the corner where they loaded the wings there WITH a huge plate with him..with the determination to gain lots of wings for us to feast!!....and he indeed came back with something!!!but with only ONE wing in a huge plate..ahaha..






yup, it sure is steamboat..although i don't fancy much on steamboat but it sure is good..the ice creammgod, i'm still THINKING about it!!!

We took pictures..that's a norm anyway..ahaha..

THat WAS a 1 day outing..but then, today came and it was hell again..sigh..with all the reports and assignments we need to strain ourselves to INDULGE ourselves into it!!*sigh*

Nothing much about today but..hmm..

One of my friend was engaged recently..so it was an issue to us today..we were there talking about marriage and things like that when i remained myself so silent because i can no longer able to say

I have a person that i would like to marry and spent my lifetime with..i wish to be engaged when we graduated..

instead, i now have to say

i'm alone and there's no one that i'm able to spent my lifetime with..because he left without taking me away with him..as he promised the forever and said he WOULD bring me there

silently..
silently..
stood very quietly there..

My friend who got engeaged, it seems that my friend broke off with the partner before this..and my friend of course is sad about it..bugt here they are..engaged..congratulations to you, my friend..i wish you well..

Sometimes no matter how strong and firm a girl can be or am, she will definately cry for the one she loves so very badly and the worst thing is the person she loved NEVER listens to her cry and love for him

silently,
silently
...................hurt....................

ahaha, I'm ahppy, I'm fine, I'm great

These words are so full of bullshits if i said that


I looked happy, yes i am..
I seems happy, yes indeed i am..

Its seriously merely a mask on my face..

Your no more bf doesn't even know the importance of him..

He did even know the meaning of just being there when i needed him is just enough..

to listen to your anger when you have one and sadness..instead he sayd you put it on him..

He doesn't know he is helping you so much..

I remembered this because..i'm sad now..and i remeber that i used to able to tell him all these and now..i am unable to..because he found someone else to tell these to him..



When you're in a hyper deep boredom and the worst thing is you can't blog in uni as the functions were ALWAYS ALWAYS not available..GOD!!

Anyway, *SIGH*
Its a boring day..it raining now..please stop raining soon..I don't want to get caught too long outside..*SIGH* because i'm already in the state of hyper boredom..(did i mention this already, yea i did)..so well, this time, i finally can officially say "I'm writing a crap for my blog =)"..

Well, previously, as i mentioned, among my friends the hot issue now is about CARS..well, what do they see or you see in a 206 Bestari??

My darling drools over the car..but sorry dear..to me..the car..its just..LOVELY and SMASHING on the outside...but when i open the door..i was like "la, ye ker~~"...its so..erm..unspacious (i don't want to sat it SMALL..haha)..besides, check out the price honey!!!Your darling also can't afford to buy it for you honey..hehe..

Well, we'll just look from those parking lots for the 206 Bestari okie..haha..that's what my drooling friend does..and when my friend sees it, my friend will go "look at that babe!!!"..haha..not to forget, while pulling my sleeves (if i have 1 that time) or my friends darling..where the sleeves are ever available =)

Its a few more months that i'll be parting with my friend and the darling of my friend's..and also everyone here..

Leaving here is like, good and bad..there are pros and cons of itself..both well balanced..



God the moment been waiting for..

It's finaaly a dream came true..well, kinda..ahaha..thanks for starting it chump!!!

They semangat mau bawa me pulak..

Haha..

BUt honestly, i really did not expect that this chump will help me out but yea..omg..does this mean that i should ponder on the actual self of people around me??

Well, actually, I should..

Most people that I've known, they usually only help you when they want something from you..when they don't need you anymore, hey just chuck you off..you die or you live..no shit to them no more..what is the other message we get here??The person is selfish..actually not that helpful but for the sake of being benefitual to them so they just do so..meaning to say..its unwillingly done..

Humans have so many excuses to held out before them..just like solving a problem that i had mentioned before..

Excuses held us humans down. But yet, we still have loads of it huh?? I daresay i'm very few in excuses person but i still do have them at times (HUMANS~~~*sigh*)but seriosly working on it..see, by decreasing my excuses on one matter, i manage to acheive it today..

what i realised was..when we avoid the excuses, we tend to face it head on..with minds intact..and that's when we get to control the situation ahead of us..instead of avoiding the situation..



Some things that you can figure it out yourself thus you ain't need..or i should say there's no citation can be given as, you did it yourself..and what happens when the boss says they want citations??

GOD!!!Pls give me a citation to cite on..god..its killing me..oops..i forgot and a VALID citation..how many VALID citation can you get?? This is like..okie, according to the notes, this subject is NOT common sense..yea, true but the fact is..known..simply known by all..so..VALID CITATION??!!

So here am i, fishing for VALID citation (don't leave out the VALID word)..sigh..and here blogging too =P

God i so want to fly..but time and situation does not permit me to do so yet..soon..soon..be very afraid..wahaha



Its now or never..

God its crazy..

But everything else, its okie to me..

I'm balancing both sides =)


Is this the syndrome for "you're going to graduate??"

Met my friend today..even my friend said that it is like that..or..it WAS like that to my friend..

You tend to feel lazy and DYING to get away..ahaha



Yesterday was a great day for me..

We went to Sri Petaling and this is the 1st that that lighted up my spirit!!!

We spent merely..I think..4-5 hours there?? All the chipmunks around me!!! and gosh, they definately ARE chipmunks!!!JUmping aorund, noises around..

My friend said"SO STRESSFULLY LA IF REALLY THERE!!"

But, I, on the other hand, enjoy it!!

YES, it is stressful..i can't deny that..but to me, its the stressful joy?? The only stress issue to me is when they don't get what you're trying to tell them..other than that, its joy..they are mischievous but at the end of the day, you're laughing together..

I didn't know i'll enjoy it..i thought i'll just being neutral with it..but is it nice..NOT fun, i can't deny that but its just..okie..

When i was there, i only think "God you little rascals!!" but ended up with a "HAHA"..

SOmething to fill myself with soon..

My reward is coming in my way soon too..

I'm feeling good but i hope soon to be better then, BEST =)



When you're busy and still wondering around of the other party..

I was thinking..what is it to wonder about??

I'm feeling great as I've done all my work..is it good to get all at once or is it better to be distributed out slowly??

I don't know..But if all were to clump together and once you one shot accomplished it..i think its a great relief after what you done..

Maybe i prefer it this way??ahaha..humans are complicated and not known and unpredictable..

You say yes, but actually a no..there's selfish and moderation..whatever is it..life is life..

think too complicated and you're having complications..think too shallow, you're sterotyping without thinking..one phrase that I always keep to myself is

DOn't judge a book my its cover

life is all about learning everyday and not about maintaining who you were and afraid of facing the world and truth..

life is not about denying but its about accepting whatever comes to you and face it with reality..

learn to survive, know your rights and not to try to be someone that you're not..

those who dependent on others to decide for you is the one who does not know what they want and try to avoid the reality in front of them..in other words, taking the easy way out

I'm young, yes I am,.but I daresay i've seen a lot..been through a lot and heard a lot..and i judged matters on my own a lot..as i believe

Don't cover your eyes and ears to shut those around you and also don't totally trust what you heard or seen all around you..Humans need to use their BRAINS to think and NOT their ears and eyes to think..because the ears and eyes lies..but the HEART and BRAIN never lies

Maybe you might say I'm a very typical person..because
(1)define problem
(2)know the cause of it
(3)analyse problem
(4)resolving methods

When does things can't be resolved this way??

When you tend to be afraid..afraid of your dignity, afraid of the consequences..afraid of FAILURE..

Honestly, I'm NEVER a successful person..but I daresay, i'm strong..I seriously failed a lot of times..all my life, i seriously never be succuessful..i'm always average or i tend to fail..i even gave up before..but it did not resolve my problems..its still there..just like what Alyiah says "dust yourself of any try again"

I think i'm back on track again when i got myself up and started thinking again that dying does not solve anything and avoiding a problem resolves things temporary but not forever

Yes, he is right that I'm not smart..I'm not pretty..I don't deny that fact..but know what??

At least I tried

I tried to be better, even when ppeople around me tend to shut me off..they discouraged me, the say more sruffs to me to make me feel even worst and i stood still..well, okie, i DID fall but i stood up because i know..

I've done my very best to please myself and those around me..But humans are greedy and never satisfied..

Soemtimes, good, better, best are never enough

BECAUSE HUMANS WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED AND NEVER LEARN TO ADMIT

HUmans seek for PERFECT..but, bear in mind, in this world, every pros are countered with cons..there's no such thing as PERFECT..look at yourself and you know that nothing is perfect and in this world there's NOTHING that comfirms you a "happily ever after" as god is always around us to test us..to show you who you are..and at the end of the day, you'll kneel down before him and thank him for all he trouble and blessingshe had given you..

and when you wake up the next day, the same routine all over again..

What's the prupose of life??i don't know

Why we lived??I don't know

Does it matter even if you know??To me, its not the issue anymore..

I just want to live my life in a mode that it pleases me and the peoplr beside me to be happy




Its was a brief day..

well, not THAT brief anyway..to my mind, at least..

I was wondering what PEOPLE are doing over there and I got myself "sour-ish" about it..

Then I practice my positive attitude in "hey, at least I've done lots on my assignment, reports that I need to hand up ALL by this week.."

..and heck, it is true..i did done lots and my reward is coming my way..i have PLANS (WAHAHA!!)...

WHat?? god, NO!! Of course not to take over the world!!!jezz, tak ader kerjer lain ke!!haha..

Well, plans that makes me a better person..


Scene 1:
THis,..well, made me think that..

Know what?? I used to plan stuffs with my guy and now, he decided to leave without me..breaking all the plans that we vowed to do so after that dramatic event, fades..and I'm now planing for..only..

ME

and he is there planing for WE that, he of course minus ME

Take 2:
I can now officially said that, I had been researching on bacteria's life..its likes and dislikes..now, I'm studying on the ansector lines for orang utans..

Being a bio student made me reflect..
do bio student themselves go through all these trouble to find out the ancestor's line??
God, I don't even have a definate clue during 100 000 000 centuries where I was origin from and I'm now checking out the ORANG UTANS???!!!



YOu know how people tends to lie to you..

And acted that they are so called so true and finally they are actually just trying to cover up the truth??

Some people says,"On make up. thus still equals U.G.L.Y" due to the make up factor as it is fake..

Facts 1:the person see a girl..highly make up..then say she is nice and a beau..when his lady does that, he says although she loks nice but still not because she make up..

TSK TSK..

Well, to me, that's not being loyal or anything..it looks more like..LYING..humans are a bunch of liars and now i see a herd of cowards..oh wait, i only see 1 coward..ahaha



Its a mixed situation today!! I wonder how a person (or only me)can have various mood changes in a day!!

My purpose of blog?? Is to discuss and sigh on my purpose of life..nothing more than that..that's why i don't put on fancy stuffs to beautify it..I did say its messy, untidy and full of words blog that people will not spend time reading..

But my best buddy actually read it..and a got compliments instead of what i expect..well, I'm so pleased abt it and yea, you're right.. you can access it for my updates..since you're so far and all..sigh..

now, lets talk abt my "economic" downturn situation..I was in this mid crisis in my own bleeding mind where my close friend said

You can see the sun after the rain stops.
BUt you aren't sure when the rain will stop..
so all you can do is wait..for it to stop

and my buddy added that i oso keep waiting for the person who nid my umbrella and share the view with me after and during the rain

that was..really..sweet..it lifted me up and think..yea..that's right..but how long is long??as mentioned,

"don't know"

who wants to share my umbrella or who is willing to allow me to share his umbrella??as mentioned,

"don't know"

What i know is, i don't think i can allow some1 to share MY umbrella with me because

its badly filled with holes that even the umbrella can't shelther me, what's more for the other person

**both courtesy of my dear close friend..thank you..thanks for the encouraging sweet to..the mentos got sweeter in every bite :)**

okie okie..after my buddy read my blog, my buddy INSISTED that i add this..

THe guy should hold the umbrella
The girl should be waiting at the BUSSTOP (god its getting dramatic now!!)until the rain stops or until the guy comes with HIS umbrella

and my friend added that i took the sweetest mentos (fruit) and its sour to my friend because the one left for my friend is the SOUR 1..*sigh*i was compliment-ing you..=(



It really works!

The cream the cream..ahaha..

That's good, keeps off unwanted shine on my face..

Although i look dull and dark, I ain't need that shine on me to make it worst..ahaha

When i was waiting for my mum, i saw this lady..her hair, on the right was highlighted in red..her left side was highlighted in blond..OMG!!!



I went to PJ today..ahaha..

It was brief but it was..erm..how should i say..erm..my benefits??

Haha, the cream says "T-zone oil control"..I doubted but i think it really does controls!! My nose is still..erm..oil free??ahaha..

I wonder will it last until i wake up tmr morning..

Writing a brief one here as i need to get going..its getting late though..have classes tmr..