Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Silent killer: verbal abuse
I was under a drizzle when this song popped up from a local radio station
and i was surprised by the lyrics that had been a melody..so i decided to check out the full lyrics
According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with that.
According to you. According to you.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.
According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.
According to you.
According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
and i read the comments left behind below this lyric..this song is a GOOD song to remind someone to get loose from a VERBALLY ABUSE relationship
A guy added a comment that this singer is try to make unattractive girls look pathetic..because she is already NOT pretty herself and trying to boast when a guy blindly thinks she is..
To mr-you-yourselves-is-a-verbal-abuser,
Attraction does not come physically..but also inside of us..
My GUY friend once told me "everyone is attractive on their own way"
I would like to highlight to everyone about this serious verbal issue..be it female or male being the victim..
Common signs of verbal abuse:
Being called names by your spouse.
Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable. If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
**its not that you can't condemn anything bad at all..its excessively putting you down and to fell good about it..
Using words to shame.
Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down either alone or in front of other people.
Using threats to intimidate.
No threat should be taken likely..
Blaming the victim.
Your spouse blows his/her top and then blames you for their actions and behavior. If you were only perfect they wouldn’t lose control!
Your feelings are dismissed.
Your spouse refuses to discuss issues that upset you. They avoid discussion of any topic where they might have to take responsibility for their actions or words.
You often wonder why you feel so bad.
You bury your feelings, walk on egg shells and work so hard at keeping the peace that every day becomes an emotional chore. You feel depressed and have even wondered if you are crazy.
Manipulating your actions.
The persistent and intense use of threatening words to get you to do something or act in a way you find uncomfortable. Example, if your spouse doesn’t want a break up they will say whatever it takes to play on your emotions by using threats and abusive words to get you to stay. All in an attempt to get you to comply with their desires, regardless of what is best for you as an individual.
Be aware as this really make you feel useless..no one in this world is useless or unattractive..everyone is special on their own way..god is great..He who created us equally (thank you Lawrence for the sentence "everyone is special de ma~")
Its not love but is abusive factor instead..
A victim asked and a professional answered
Q: Why does it seem that after he abuses me verbally he is happy, like he feels relieved? Also, he will act like it never happened. It's like he has no memory of it. I try hard to not fight with him because it's not worth it -- it only makes him say more things. I end up asking myself if I am blowing things out of proportion or overreacting.
A: This is what verbal abusers do. Verbal abusers almost universally act like nothing happened, like they feel fine and the relationship is fine. This is because they feel they have more control. Maybe they got you to back down, believe them or doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself then you might go with what they tell you, be more compliant and more slave-like. This makes them happy.
According to the University of Cincinnati,
The main factor of these abuse is due to the abuser themselves are low regard for him- or herself. As the abuser may fear not being "good enough" and/or meeting other’s expectations, the abuser may attempt to place their victim in the position to feel or believe similar things about him or her self.
It might sound something light to you because they just SAY it but not physically hurt you that leaves a scar in you but the effect that you can't see is more prompt.
Just, be careful..because i've been there and the residues are still within me and i know the feeling about it..and thank god others beside me are being supportive..although they are not much given but acceptance is important.
Expressed and Shared @ 8:47:00 AM |
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