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NUFFNANG

• The educator? The parent or the tutor?
• Long Lost Post
• A change
• [no title]
• humans need companion
• MOney Money Money
• oops..when you turned 24
• unsure
• 错了但是放不下
• Caught in the middle

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Yada, yada. Nothing much here yet


Current obsession:
GetItHere! lalala~ :D


**in progress..hehe

I was under a drizzle when this song popped up from a local radio station



and i was surprised by the lyrics that had been a melody..so i decided to check out the full lyrics


According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with that.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.
According to you.

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.

and i read the comments left behind below this lyric..this song is a GOOD song to remind someone to get loose from a VERBALLY ABUSE relationship

A guy added a comment that this singer is try to make unattractive girls look pathetic..because she is already NOT pretty herself and trying to boast when a guy blindly thinks she is..

To mr-you-yourselves-is-a-verbal-abuser,
Attraction does not come physically..but also inside of us..
My GUY friend once told me "everyone is attractive on their own way"

I would like to highlight to everyone about this serious verbal issue..be it female or male being the victim..


Common signs of verbal abuse:

Being called names by your spouse.
Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable. If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
**its not that you can't condemn anything bad at all..its excessively putting you down and to fell good about it..

Using words to shame.
Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down either alone or in front of other people.

Using threats to intimidate.
No threat should be taken likely..

Blaming the victim.
Your spouse blows his/her top and then blames you for their actions and behavior. If you were only perfect they wouldn’t lose control!

Your feelings are dismissed.
Your spouse refuses to discuss issues that upset you. They avoid discussion of any topic where they might have to take responsibility for their actions or words.

You often wonder why you feel so bad.
You bury your feelings, walk on egg shells and work so hard at keeping the peace that every day becomes an emotional chore. You feel depressed and have even wondered if you are crazy.

Manipulating your actions.
The persistent and intense use of threatening words to get you to do something or act in a way you find uncomfortable. Example, if your spouse doesn’t want a break up they will say whatever it takes to play on your emotions by using threats and abusive words to get you to stay. All in an attempt to get you to comply with their desires, regardless of what is best for you as an individual.

Be aware as this really make you feel useless..no one in this world is useless or unattractive..everyone is special on their own way..god is great..He who created us equally (thank you Lawrence for the sentence "everyone is special de ma~")

Its not love but is abusive factor instead..

A victim asked and a professional answered
Q: Why does it seem that after he abuses me verbally he is happy, like he feels relieved? Also, he will act like it never happened. It's like he has no memory of it. I try hard to not fight with him because it's not worth it -- it only makes him say more things. I end up asking myself if I am blowing things out of proportion or overreacting.

A: This is what verbal abusers do. Verbal abusers almost universally act like nothing happened, like they feel fine and the relationship is fine. This is because they feel they have more control. Maybe they got you to back down, believe them or doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself then you might go with what they tell you, be more compliant and more slave-like. This makes them happy.

According to the University of Cincinnati,
The main factor of these abuse is due to the abuser themselves are low regard for him- or herself. As the abuser may fear not being "good enough" and/or meeting other’s expectations, the abuser may attempt to place their victim in the position to feel or believe similar things about him or her self.

It might sound something light to you because they just SAY it but not physically hurt you that leaves a scar in you but the effect that you can't see is more prompt.

Just, be careful..because i've been there and the residues are still within me and i know the feeling about it..and thank god others beside me are being supportive..although they are not much given but acceptance is important.



God i'm here waiting for time to passby instead of doing what i wanted to do at home..*Sigh*

So this is the time i wish i was sick enough to be qualified for a MC =P

So much to do at home yet so little time..

Here, so little to do, so much time...TOO much in fact but i can't do my own personal issue..

*Sigh*

I want to go home~

Home was used to be a boring platform for me..(well, be it out or home is boring to me actuaaly =P )..but now, the table has turned..it's true though that one said we need to get something to do to keep ourselves occupied..and i'll be the 1st to say "aye"

Just take it as after a student life, you tend to have more time. Why so? because you ain't need to rush home to do revision..homeworks..notes..future lessons (this does not apply to some smarty pants) but we worked for the specific hours then we just go home..no homeworks no notes..(again, exception to those who are workaholics who stays in the office although way after wee working hours)..

I want to

Bake..

See my 1st muffin..it came out good but i..okie..so i honestly say it doesn't TASTE good *Sigh*

Me trying to cut down the sugar content ended up being tasteless..








So i present you my 1st failed-in-taste-but-a-success-in-shape-or-physically-carrot muffin.. there..a LONG name..

My colleague used to ask
"So what's your biscuit's name/title?"

..and i'll stop dead..and they said

"MUST have a name"

..so there, i have a name for whatever i'm baking now..ahaha..but all in all..i daresay its not that bad for starters!! I was worried that it might not rise but ended up something else turns out wrong instead..Next target, i want a soft and fluffy muffin (okie, another honest confession: it still is kind of fluffy but it wasn't THAT fluffy)

One day
Colleague: Do you review back what had you done for this whole year at every end of the year?
Me: Urm..no?? Half of my previous life..ain't need to be reviewed because I'll be studying?
Colleague: What's your new year resolution?

Hmm, good question though!
As a student in half of my previous years i daresay I'm not active in any sort..be it home or outdoor activities..Okie, so i'm afraid to do much as i'm no smarty pants..i need to make an extra mile in order to get those darn info in me..itu pun separuh je..

Well, those were the days..
Now, i do look back this year..because this year..i encountered 2 phases of life..no..i think it should be 3, unofficially..

Phase 1: life of the final year student
Phase 2: the transaction of a student to an employee
Phase 3: the official working life (and more to come)

Beside this phases..other sub-phases in our life do occur too..like personal issues and all..

After all the havocs that happened in year 2009 to me..i still think that, year 2009 was a great success to me =) I've done well..be it in personal, self issue, studies, working etc..I daresay i've done a lot

..for myself (i know it sounded selfish but i need to built up myself, to stabilize myself before i can not stabilize but patch up for others..)WHy not stabilize others?I know..you're thinking i'm selfish again but you cannot help someone to acheive something if they themselves are not trying.. so enough said about that for you to get what i mean..

I'm officially a graduate with an Hon degree in May and since after that, i was never staying at home looking unpolished and glumly or being a couch potato the whole day..

I started off with something that was not related to my degree..i started off small and still small but at least a field that is in my line..i even continue being small..although not much but it really helps to kill my time..i rather to be busy than hitting the malls oh-so-very-often but aimlessly walking around looking at expensive items that you can't afford then go home with a big fat parking receipt that made your purse go thin..

Btw, who says i don't keep time to myself??!!That pure lie..

I did bake..with hugs and kisses and thanks to all who had contributed to make this a dream come true to me..not by providing help in baking or recipe or tutoring but the appliances

My aunt and cousin, for the very extreme basic item, THE OVEN
--> Here, although she doesn't read blogs or even go online, i would like to sincerely thank aunt and cousin for the lovely oven as a gift..i did not expect my aunt to voice out on sponsoring me an oven for my birthday this year..without you, baking wouldn't be done even until now

Myself on FINALLY slapping myself and say "HEY!start using the oven! its being bought for a purpose!"
--> Okie, i admit that i didn't IMMEDIATELY started using it when i got it..not even after a few weeks..it as MONTHS after that..i got it aorund July..its been lying on the floor, unwrapped then in the store..i DID think of "WHY did i asked for THAT? Maybe i should say angpau will do"..then i slapped myself and i FORCED myself to use it..that's what i wanted to do..why the hell i hesitated!! and i did not regret me nagging myself =)

My parents in having so many junk at home for me to use (that explains why most of my cookies, cakes, muffins have oats on them)
--> No comments for this..its being well explained in that single sentence..

to everyone who was so supportive of me..who wanted to try my baking although i REFUSED to give because it tasted really bad (yea, yea, my muffin!)

To uncle and cg friend who bought me other baking products that allows me to produce a more polished looking product

I also watch those new series of dramas..(as i have contact with the direct supplier, i've been a supplier too in office)

I read again (being a student again)

I seen or meet more different and weird people during my random jobs that made me more eyes-opened-wide

I got to meet more people

I'm a more positive, cheerful and confident thinker (but of course sometimes you sure to be unsure of something)

So, what's my new year resolution??
I do have it..but shall i mention here??!!
So i'm a chicken to mention it here, afraid that it might not happen..because..

i want to pick up my chinese again that i had left eons ago ever since i left kindergarden..i was a pro at THAT point of time be it in written or spoken and then it deteriorated..I've gone trough some centres that provide this services but most, lt is only on spoken..so, i planned to self study..i'm still keeping those kiddy books that they used to give us although being adults to practice..

I had doubt in myself of being able to do so but i'll still put it onto my list

I'll bake better..that 3 lettered sentence had self explained well

I'll try to coach better in order for them to keep the faith in me and also in myself on not giving some ajaran sesat..

So, far, i think that's all..

Hmm, i think its really true..without at least an aim in your life, life is NOT a life..although your aim is so small like "i want to walk to the 100m shop"..its better than no aim..life is really pointless without aims..

That, is, the, pURpoSe oF LiFe =)

So what's YOUR resolution?

Happy New Year and also in years ahead =)



Have you ever encountered someone who is so pushy towards you?

Well, I'm sorry to say but its irritating at times..

But, on the other hand, i understood the deeds of the person by being pushy..

Because i was once in their shoe before..

I', sorry to the person who is being pushy and i still build a wall against teh person although i understood the feeling that created the pushy-ness in you..

But i can't help it to unknowingly build a wall around me too..

I daresay i'm not as naive as you think i am..

Maybe this is what a person who has been hurt before reacts in any situation as the person does not want to get hurt again like before..

MY deepest apology to the pushy person (you know who you are)

Btw, my latest craze song
为什麽你总是闷闷不乐
你知不知道你是最好的
这首歌 我唱这首歌
就是要给你快乐

世界上只有你独一无二
我为你填上幸福的颜色
这首歌 我唱这首歌
你要专心地听着

说你也一样爱着我
有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝
把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋
不让你轻易离开

我会永远爱着你
到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜
轻轻地摇着懒椅 戴着老花眼镜
还记得我们这首歌

The meaning is nice though~



FINALLY!!!

Here i am, able to surf the net..god!!

After a whole week of internet-less in office..god forbid!

So the internet was down and then comes the electric supply (for one of the lines) created sparks that we had to shut if off and to get someone to fix it..Thus, we went to THE MALAY TEA HOUSE instead =P










The ambiance was made very traditionally Malay-ish looking way (Hello, the name already speaks itself?)..filled with antiques and all the malay houses that used to have those unique cravings and settings..

Its rather deserted for a lovely place like that, i must say but all in all its cozy and rather quiet..


Bag yang dianyam


The main product..tea leaves...


Other products on sale


The display of herbs..saw pegaga?




Check out the antique radio!! GOd.. (FYI: one is from PHILIPS okie!)

Other than that..i also baked last few days =)


My shortbread (can be considered as butter cookies too..but shortbread is richer than butter cookie)


Started being creative by adding raisins =)

P/S: came across this web..check it out..Kids now a days..*Sigh*
http://connectingmetoyou.blogspot.com/2008/03/best-upsr-karangan-ever.html



I’m so sleepy..zZz

And I’m having a meeting late evening soon..god!!

Thanks to yesterday’s great BBQ xmas party we had =)

Games were prepared (and also last minute prepared)..

Food were prepared (just buy from Jusco for marinated chicken wings???)

Apples and potatoes were chopped (potato salad tossing)

A huge watermelon were successfully chopped..

Right, so I didn’t get to capture these moment as I was busy preparing the salad issue..

But my Guardian angel given me this =)






A bag (its purple) and my muffin cups!!! *yay*

I forgot to get a shot of the present I got for person I’m a guardian to..
Well, he decided to get a photo of us..and i did not get it as he is rushing home..



Take 1:
Have you ever come across a period where you tend to lost something that has been profusely stepping into your life?

As the saying goes that humans only appreciate only when they loose it, isn’t it?

Its not like loosing you spouse or parents or siblings..even friends, we tend to have this tingling feeling when the other party who is or was with us, be it on spot or off spot (thanks to the high technology now a days) suddenly left us like

After a quarrel and one pronounced the end of friendship..

Most will decide that they are NOT being disturbed by the fact of loosing someone..

But ask yourself deep down inside..you REALLY do not feel the lost? Although the person is just a friend..but we do feel the lost of a person in our life..like..something is missing in your heart..like a piece of puzzle is missing..

I don’t know about the others but as for me, although I fake up the “so what if you’re gone” but actually the missing of a piece of puzzle in me, is being felt..

This is the time when you realized that, that particular person is officially in your life..

Friends are just like another mistress you have from your spouse..

They tend to battle for your attention from your spouse..

Although the best person that is able to help is YOURSELF but human needs companionship in order to survive..

So is this the reason why humans being hypocrites?

Is this the reason why humans strive to be loyal to one because they are afraid of the feeling of “The missing piece”?

Some say yes, some say no..because there are too many answers to these questions that has no fixed answers for it..it is too subjective..it depends on what ones tend to hold on to what their principle is..

Take 2:
A guy once told me..

How much can you gain by doing odd jobs? Its not going to make you rich. What’s your dream? M dream is being rich. So I’m achieving it *babbles on about his business plan*

It made me ponder..
Do I want to get RICH?

I know, ifi say no, no one in this universe will believe..well, its not that I DON’T want is..i did not THINK about it yet..i mean, you’re not even stable yourself, don’t even know how to swim and you want to dive? I know loads of people know how to dive but not swimming but you still need the equipments to enable you to survive..

He also added that

We should start now since we are young. By working for others we go no where near rich

I totally agree on that but..hmm..how should I put this..

I’m a slow achiever?

I prefer to take one at a time?

Let’s just say..I’m not a risk taker

But when I find the opportunity that might change the comfort zone I’m in, I will do so..

Maybe what I’m lack is

CONFIDENCE




MY 1st cake!!

*Yay*

Presenting..

Orange oat cake!!!!! *grins*

I cipta tau..okie..so it was from something actually that made me created this..

I was suppose to make a rock bun or a scone..but i messed it up so i made it into small cake lumps..then this time it struck me to make cake with my failed recipe instead and of course to turned out better with a few modifications..

WAH HA HA~



Not feeling gay

Not feeling joyful..

Just..mono..

*Bored*

Things happened every now and then..

Makes me think that..

There's NOTHING best than yourself helping yourself

No matter how close the person is to you, how fakely mentioned its okie to take up the favour, the less likely the person means willingly to take up the favour

How many humans in tis world practically do not consider the advantage that they will be getting when they waste their time and effort on something for another person?

I think in 10, 9 1/2 of people tends to see what benefits themselves or to gain something and when they got it, they tend to peel off the mask and start showing colours..

Humans usually treat those close to them less likely than outsiders..when friends say this or that some will just say yes yes although at the corner of their mind,it's frantically shouting a no..but when the person is close, such as relatives, spouses, parents..asking for the same favour, we tend to just say no..

Who should we please?

Why should we please a stranger than ourselves?

Why?

Thus, i daresay i please no one..friend or spouse or parents or whatever, when its a no, its a no..and not a no that only refers to certain category of people..

Hypocrites

As the saying goes
“Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882)


“He is a hypocrite who professes what he does not believe; not he who does not practice all he wishes or approves”
William Hazlitt quotes (British Writer, best known for his humanistic essays. 1778-1830)



Okie..i think i've mentioned this the umpteen times..

"IT'S A RANDOM WEEKEND"

BUT

Was well spent..although wasn't the usual some RANDOM jobs but attended wedding..

As usual, RANDOM pictures were taken (GOD!! i feel like a random person!!)

But this unintentional random picture caught my attention..

I don't know but i think this picture really tells you a lot but with unspoken words..

It can be the intimate relationship between a mother and the child

It also gives the picture of the love between 2 people from a different world (different personality)

and more feeling that i cannot describe by words..



Don't you feel it too?

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS



Is it just me or it is a lazy Friday?

*Sigh*

After our unplanned visit plus holiday to Ipoh, Perak.. I felt so extremely lazy when i got back to work..

Worst of all, my leaves are gone..zero, nil, nada..you name it..when everyone else are busy on leave..

*Sigh*

Anyway, that god that time passes very fast in the morning but sadly NOT in the afternoon..(What in the world??!)

PLUS

It HAS it RAIN in the morning to make it worst for me because i told myself "5 more minutes" and hit the snooze button that actually lags for 9 minutes instead of 5..

*Yawn**Yawn*

Even the someone in the office near dozed off due to extreme boredom or extreme laziness of the December month..

*Sigh*

Blame the day because it is fri (Sat means no work..p/s: only applicable to those who work 5 days a week)

Blame the month because it is December (End of the year + a well known Holiday month)

Blame the weather because it is so chilly and cool due to the rainy season

Blame the bacteria because it needs time to grow

Blame the sample source for not stepping themselves right up to our doorstep

Blame the air conditioner being too well functioned that gave us a Genting Highland feel

Blame it all around us =P