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Current obsession:
GetItHere! lalala~ :D


**in progress..hehe

Jade is feeling really down..

Actually the kids that i'm helping on..or naturing on..they 9/10 are problematic kids..

Case 1:
Just a petty std 1 kid..

He practically knock down one of the day care's door by kicking it and clenching his teeth so tightly together..

It sounds funny as you imagine it but it was hell scary as a petty little innocent looking blur boy was once so wild..

Case 2:
A std 6 boy, he is i daresay rather a good looking boy..

But he is like a devil..

Even until now..

He past, sprayed paint over a teacher's car, smashed a teacher's car and those sort

and so many more cases

and they are still there, in that day care..

Some left before but they came back..to me..

Its not because the day care is good or what sort..

To me its because the parents themselves can't control them..

Then what's us, just a teacher, someone that has no blood relation?

All matters arised this week..
The std 6 kid,
I told him to do that essay..
He didn't get it but he was fooling around..
I said do..
He tak faham than tell me then..
But he didn't..keep fooling around and took his friend's to COPY..
I HATE people who copies..dahla eassay tulis like shit and mau copy!!
I got angry..and i know he is hell afraid of the day care owner..so i said either you do it here or downstairs (the owner was downstairs)..
He hell cared what i said..
I got pissed..i hit the table..and told him to get down..
He still fooling around with his friends on purpose..
(Alright, maybe this was my fault)I threw his book on the floor and said get down!
He got up from his chair..Honestly, when he did that, i had a pinch of fear..fear as he might hit me..but if he really does..i can't hit back..why?there's no one to back me up..all the kids can say "teacher hit first"..
Well, he just took his book up and bang the table and sat down and did his essay..

This might sound funny to you but..
Since the first day, i know well that he is not afraid of me..
I can see he was as coward as a rat when the day care owner came around the class that i'm supposed to conduct..
Even when Barry was conducting the class, he has this little fear of Barry..
But when it was me, he tends to become an animal..

WHY?

No one knows why..
Even Barry..
He can sense that he isn't afraid of me..and Barry has no idea why he is afraid of him..
To me,
1) i'm a female..naturally the kid knows although he is a kid, but he definately will be stronger than me
2) Barry is a guy and he is rather bigger in size so he is afraid
3) the day care owner??he is tiny in size too..but why??because he has the relation with his parents..once the owner had a "little chat" with the parents and that's it..

That was why third class with the kid and I know i can't control him..I told the owner..

He said "If you are in a middle of a problem, what do you do? You would find a SOLUTION, right?"

Yes he was and IS right but i really know that, that's my limit..this kid, i really can't..

Then the owner asked the kid..why was he like that to me..

The kid said: I don't know why i was so bad tempered also today but Jade lao shi didn't RESPECT me also because she hit the table and threw my book

Hit a table and threw a book=not respecting me
Well, what about respect ME first?
The way he treated me in class, i'm not a teacher..i'm a pile of shit you know..
A kid is talking about respect..and the BEST thing is, the owner told me..
his dad is a..erm..how should i say..orang yang bukan calang calang nya..ada power..if the child tak syok and complain to his that, me, myself and i will kena

THEN, I KNEW WHY THE PREVIOUS TUTOR THAT THOUGHT HIM (i took over the class after she left) was so damn afraid of the kid when she conducted the class..

kid: i don't want to do this essay!!
tutor: okie, okie..don't do..

THis is not what a tutor supposed to be..and i daresay i WILL NOT do so..

But i can't control..so after hearing that, i will also be the next under his mercy tutor too, isn't it?

Upon hearing that, i definately will NOT conduct the class no more..
Call me a coward if you want to but bear in mind that,
If i become that so called tutor when i'm actually under the kid's mercy..then what's the point of me teaching him anymore?I'm there to TEACH, he LEARN not me being there merely just to get my salary and the kid learns nothing..if i am sure i can't control the kid, why waste his time and mine?Honestly, the money i get does NOT telly..AT ALL with the stress and the pain that i'm going through to educate these problematic kids..but..its the responsibility as a tutor..I NEVER thought i will be a tutor you know..yes, i admit, the salary does not motivate me AT ALL, i just want to fulfill the credit hours that i stupidly signed up for..but as i stepped into this deeper..i have that heart to educate them..to help them..

I know, the owner said they are very pitiful..most of the parents either tak kisah about them or from a problematic, disorganize or a broken home..that's why their what they are..I can understand that..but..if i'm trying..but not the kid..

This person here said "then don't continue teaching then"..hmm..for me..i don't know..half wanted to leave half wanted to stay..although they are spoilt brats and all..but i had that passion to try to alter them..but..i think it is not within my ability..i felt bad..seriously..






*SIGH*