mY pURpoSe oF LiFe

The educator? The parent or the tutor?

2011-08-03T23:39:00.003+08:00

It was a normal day, the usual and suddenly after the routine days, there's a twist to something.

Which is more difficult to be?
The educator? The parent? or the child itself?

Blame technology now a days that internet had been an easily gained access that made little ones more and more lazy and getting further and further from their books..

Whenever this is mentioned, the blame flies to the parent. Not taking care. Not spending more time just like what we used to write on our PMR or SPM essays..

Are they really to blame? Maybe they should..maybe they shouldn't be..
Blame a higher cost of living and salary that never increase along with time.
Due to this, the norm of life changed. The usual norm of life where parents comes in a pair. The female will contribute by taking care of everything at home and the male will be out there straining for food.

Thanks to "earn a living", this norm had became BOTH male and female work.

The educator on the other hand, is no easy do. Who says being an educator is merely sit and cane and bye? Who says one to one is easy when you have a problematic rascal? If you are giving up on a little rascal means you're not fit to educate a child that level.

Everyone only look up the toughness of being the parent..some, but rare will think of the educator but there still are..but what about the little one?

All I can gather is they feel they are being forced to do what they dislike to do because they are young, powerless compared to adults. They felt like they are just puppet. Stringed around. They just want to have fun. They only feel the comfort but where goes to all the difficulties that we encountered before? All the straining from simple things like walking hundred miles just to go to school? They are just with sent to doorstep. They don't know how is it bad out there.

If to blame the parent alone..maybe the educator too.maybe some don't educate well. or maybe the kid themselves. They just don't see the importance..maybe the kid needs to be constantly reminded since young. That's my conclusion.

All in all, it came back to money. Insufficient time for their child. Educators are just doing their job. Once done and that's all. The kid is easily lured by outside sources. If in that case, all had to be blamed.

Who to blame?
Blame the economy.
Blame the parent.
Blame the educator.
Blame the child.

I think

Blame the mind.

The mind that controls everything.
The parent should have a mindset to press on this since the very beginning.
The educator should try their best which I'm sure they did.
The child, well, IF the child's mind we can just tune it like tuning our computer or or radio frequency then its perfect

But it can't be..

Human psychology

Is a dangerous issue and a issue that scientist themselves will never get to create a formulae to resolve it.

Long Lost Post

2011-07-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

Hey there!

Sorry, I know this had been inactive for AGES..

Just got tied up..VERY tied up..

Within this few "silent" months were quite a flip for me.

New place, new seat..
New environment..
Something that I said

NO~ not doing that for a living~

BUT this is not EXACTLY like hopping around all places and all..
Its just being at one place..

Today, something weird came by..
AH, how can the mobile did not respond to my command!!
*Sigh*
But the surprising thing is..I did not go berserk or something which what I usually do..
Hmm, I wonder what does that mean..

I've grown matured?
Not that sickening when it comes to some unexpected bad circumstances that happened before me?
Hey, its a credit to myself!
Maybe some of you might think that its lame..
But but but..to me it is an achievement..

There's always when things are fallen not right on our feet.
You need to achieve to get it..
There's always a scarify to everything but are you willing to do so?
How much can you give out in order to achieve what it is needed?
How much life can give you?
I do feel that 24 hours is too short..
I believe everyone feels that way too..
But

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

Once decided, whatever done seems like it made life meaningful..

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.

But have you ever wondered:

Why mankind are sentence to be stranded here, a place called EARTH?

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Don't doubt on it..
Just move on..
Do something that makes you feel..useful..

Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time

Great day ahead to all of you..

A change

2011-05-25T15:25:00.007+08:00

I'm a few more days nearer to changes in life
How things were before..but added a little twist to it..
A twist that able or might not be able to change my whole world around..

Looking back, its already been half of 2011 had passed..
what had I done?
Seems a lot previously but looking back, all I can say was,

Oh, only that?

There are still loads of thing left unattended..
Like the novel that I purchased during a sale..with the mindset that I want to read it..
I really do want to but time and priorities does not permit me to do so..

What are your priorities?
Why sweat over a few pieces of printed paper that has values to it according to its colour?
The life doesn't seem inviting, its true.
I do admit it myself..
I can't even just read a simple book that I once able to finish it in a day..
Or holding the pan or kneading dough that I wanted to do so for breakfast..
Looks like 24 hours are NEVER enough..

BUT!

One has to be strong..
Know the reason for you to do so..
When you hesitate, you should remind yourself the MAIN purpose of pushing self to have those valued coloured papers in your hands..
Know that you need it more than others who are more well off than you..more healthy than you and less responsibility than you do..

Other people's life seems to be more interesting and you spat at yours..
DON'T!
Life for everyone is different..
Maybe the joyful of it but what has been installed for the future?

Are you really not having fun?
Then think about the few hours of you Facebooking, chatting with friends, naughty deeds with your spouses, laughing head of with siblings or friends, simple activities done with loved ones be it gardening or cooking..

People usually relate the valued coloured paper to joy..not really..the coloured paper is just to allow you to be able to survive when tomes are tough that you can't help yourself (well, at a certain level you NEED a professional to cure your illness or you can't expect a stranger to have the urge to pay for your kid's education)

Those fun mentioned above happened but you've forgotten THOSE joy you had..
Why?
Simply because they are too normal as in like they are just a norm..
Is it REALLY a norm??
Look deeper..think harder..

I daresay:

NO, it isn't a NORM

It is something special that it happened so fast to give you a hint to work extra harder so the future will have more relaxing and joyful times as things will become more joyful when conditions are more stable..

Don't loose your focus..
Don't frown on carrying out your responsibility to become a human, a sibling, a child, a parent...mainly YOURSELF

Those might be very rare to happen but it DID happened..so strive and more of those wonderful fun priceless activities will grow soon when things are more stable at hands

I'm frowning
but
I'm telling myself not to loose focus..
You should not be too..

[no title]

2011-05-04T09:31:00.002+08:00

There's always crappy issues that makes life imperfect..
Always a pro comes with a con
That's when we called "God is great"

Its just like a kid, can't even read or write or spell a single word even though the kid is 13 years old..not because the kid did not study its just that they are slow in thinking BUT when it comes to arts and craft, mind you the kid can bring out a cow that looks so real!

WHich will you choose when its time for you too choose?
Are you a risk taker?
Are you willing to take the unsure?
Yes, everyone dies..maybe unexpectedly.
A healthy person doesn't mean that will live till 80 years old with you..might die the very next minute because malang tak berbau
BUt if that someone is KNOWN to be a higher chances to go off..that's a different issue already, isn't it?

The road that leads to our life is what we chose..which will you rather have?
There 's a lot that I had heard.
As a conclusion, I'm confused.

Why that had to happen that made me think twice?
Why I had to think twice?
Why other party had to appear?
Why other party had some issues that is so massive?
Why the now only realized it?
Why I had to know the other party?

I want things to be mended, I think it can..but
The other had exist in it,
And the other has issues that
I sincerely don't mind BUT very afraid about it..

我怕会让他失望。。
但是如果是another side，我怕就是不好听的话是等死巴了。。
您会选哪一个?
虽然是所没事但，说能保真以后?

humans need companion

2011-04-19T11:28:00.003+08:00

Hey you, yes YOU!
The one sitting over there, staring at the monitor screen!

Are you a person who WAS and student and now a worker?
or
Are you a person who WAS a student and STILL a student but soon to be a worker?

Either way, its the same..
Both needs a companion..

After few months on the havoc that slapped me,
Here I am, morning, the computer, evening, a tiger to kids that roars around..yet, they just turned a deaf ear on you..

AH~ kids now a days..

When back home, its back to silence, four walls and then it loops again

Why another house seems to favour you more when compared to yours?
Why another country seems to favour you more when compared to yours?
Because we seen the dark side of that issue we have everyday and not the other side

Home is still the best place for me..regardless how small it seems and all
But home is a dead place for me..its like, its empty at all times when people are needed..
When there's too many people in the house, we tend to complain because its noisy or disturbing, no me time..
But when the whole house is dead quiet, you complain it boring..

This struck my mind that resembles that people needs companion by the ever popular and outstanding 王力宏 - 需要人陪

When they are there, we complain this and that because there's too much of their existence..
BUT when they tend to go off then you realized that all along, the noise and musics at home without them, it will not be melodious..
That is the nature of a human, you'll never realized how much that person is towards you until they changed or until the day you lost them..
Be it a very minor role they play in your life, but without them, the music or melody that you heard is different..
Don't you think so?

MOney Money Money

2011-04-06T11:20:00.008+08:00

Its been awhile since I've last blogged.
Even the blogspot took awhile to load when I hit the new post button..

There's so many uncertainties in me these few MIA weeks..
All happened so sudden, in just a blink of an eye..

It made me think,
Why we need money?
Why we need to study?
The prehistoric freaks thinks that they had done us a favour by creating money..
To able to abolish all kaput arises from barter trading

BUT

Isn't it the SAME with money?
You ALSO trade money with something BUT not in the form of things but in the form of currency

ya ya ya..
The value and all can be calculated and all the crap..the size of the stuffs and all..

Yea, money IS good..and know what? Money even have PLUS you more other than that "benefit"

Money gave us the extra to
1) have more robbery by more tragic incidences of robbery and all that involves life..
2) have more arrogant people in the world that kick and spit on people with lesser M factor
3) more DESPERATE people to earn like hell in order to keep up with the world that all things in the world are increasing also demands from loved ones
4) more aggressive people who go all out just to get money for survival purposes also for boasting purposes

I'm not saying that all these DID NOT happen during those prehistoric times but it has been worsen when money had been introduced to the world, isn't it?

All deeds by human leads to money..
We work for money..
We study to get a job that PAYS better..also leads to money..
What else human does in life besides,
The very minute second you we out from mother's womb,
You're TRAINED to eat, crawl, control defecation, show expression --> learn
Soon, walk, talk, act, behave --> learn
then, study!!! study!!!! As!!! 78/100 is a B, 2 more marks to A, the more music you HAVE to listen because just a little more to an A that makes it nice on the report card --> learn

Learn since the very moment we are out..learn to behave to get good behaviour so that people of course prefer to employ those with good attitude --> because of job

Study, also learn and for a good result..best student, first class degree, master student, a doctor designation --> because of a better pay job and fame, for some

Other than study, work..have you ever wondered what ELSE human does?
*Sigh*
Oh yes, there is..get a partner, get married

Ah, some thinks that marriage hinders them from EARNING ( money again) so they do not marry..
Money is something that cannot be neglected now
Even some says no money, cannot get married..
True indeed as you need money to bring up a child even you think that you can skimp on yourself but you can't skimp on your kids..
Education is getting more and more costly and same goes to the kids where now at the age of 5, a mobile phone is a MUST if not being left off by their peeps and they will start HATING you, as his/her parent to be the core of he/she can't get a friend due to this..

All leads to job which leads back all together to MONEY

Therefore, money is the root of all evil

Our life only revolves around money..
That's the purpose of life

oops..when you turned 24

2011-02-09T10:51:00.006+08:00

A blog roll that I always kept track on, the authour decided to get married soon..

Looking at her preparation for her big day triggered me to unintentionally added ideas to my own future one.. =P

Previously,
I only had a mindset that I would like to have it NOT the usual fancy ballroom hotels or fully air-conditioned restaurants..

If I am able to, I would like to have it in a garden..
Doesn't that look more appropriate than the usual

Eh, my dishes during my wedding was better THAN yours

My deco are better than yours

Oh, what a CHEAP dessert served

AH! WHY WEDDING NOW A DAYS IS MORE LIKE SHOWING OFF BUT NOT AS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO PUBLIC THAT THE COUPLES ARE FINALLY MR AND MRS *for you to fill in the family name*?

*Sigh*
I've heard all the crappy wedding jest
All the stupid issues of who is better and who isn't..
Hello, facts please..its a wedding or a competition?
Apart from that, all in all comes into MONEY issues..
I've heard all the issues of needing loads of the Vitamin M to be forked out for the ceremony..

Hmm..
I wonder why it can't just be a simple do?
Honestly, its not the price that triggers me but I think its the RIDICULOUS amount that people tend to squeeze out from you to the maximum as occasions like this happens only once in a lifetime

So,
A garden themed ceremony..is in not those that garden themed BUT in restaurant okie!
A REAL garden themed area =)
With nature to naturally lift up the environment for the ceremony without the effort to TRY to buy flowers just to make the four walls looked like in a garden but still looking artificial (Hey, you can't create the ditch or little soft mud on carpets..if it where able to..ahem, Vitamin M..remember that)

**But I hope it doesn't go too pricey =(

Next, a simple bouquet

The pictures here that I would like to focus on is the way they wrapped up the bouquet..
I love it!! and it can be DIY =)
Who says you NEED a high cost wedding bouquet just because of that stupid white holder? or, in my case, at least *wink*

Also, all the deco like the center piece for each dining table
Hmm, I have MY own ideas to it =)
Not sharing!
Bacause
A) I kedekut ilmu..i mean wedding its like still a long way to me so mana tau someone STOLE mine =P
B) Mana tau when the time comes I try to apply it then tak jadi, tak lawa =(

Oh oh oh!!
Not to forget door gifts!!!
Aha, I am also NOT sharing..same reason but only point B applies here

The dresses, the shoes, the jeweleries, the ornament to deco the bride, itu later of course..

BUT
the RING

I sure rings with a HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE diamond or shimmering stone at the top of it like the above is such an eye opener to the bride and also those around..
So shiny that one needs a sunglasses on to avoid the shine killing the eye due to the humongous size of it that able to reflect light but
PLEASE..
Anyone who gives me that, I think I'll take it to the jewelery shop and tell them to smash it up to make VARIOUS items like 10 pairs if earrings or so..
Please!!! its HIDEOUS to me!
Can't it be HUMBLE?!
I mean something simple..
Like..

Just tiny ones or none is also okie to me..

That's all that I could think of as I read the blog roll of the lovely couple are tying a knot..
Congratulations to the couple..although I don't know them =P

unsure

2011-01-26T08:53:00.002+08:00

There's always a something to blog about but when it is time to able to blog, I tend to unable to type out what it has to be and therefore I always stare at the blinking cursor ahead of me and then a blank post box..

Why this?
Probably due to the fact that there are somethings that are very difficult to be explained through words instead..
Maybe to express it out to a someone instead of a lifeless blog, isn't it?
But the issue will still be there..

I hate days where you're unsure about yourself.
About what you want.
About what you wish for.
About what you hope.
About what you foresee.
About what you expect.
About what you're about to go through.
I was sure.Sort of.
Then I realised that I wasn't sure at all actually.
I ignored it. Again.
Yet, the issue arises again.
So, there's no denial to that no more.
But now its the fact that how could all these be reverse?
I don't want to erase it.
Because no matter how bad something happened, but it still leaves a piece in me.
But I just hope to reverse it.

Have you ever looked back to your doings and find some of it disgust or unfavours you now and wonder why in the world you did that previously?
If it doesn't involve hurting someone..then its fine.
But what if it does?
How can you reverse it back?

Apart from that, ever had the feeling of
You hate a person
Also
Favours the person at the same time
Confused about the person

错了但是放不下

2011-01-14T10:41:00.002+08:00

*Yawn*
Is what yours truly plans to start this post with..
God I'm really wiped out today and I still have a hyper long day to go!
Should get a dose of caffeine in me later in the afternoon in order to keep myself alive in the evening and night to be functional..

Today feels like..a new day..though not in a fresh mode..
Everything that are meant to be done by me are wrong in either or choices I made..
With that I foresee myself being exceptionally clueless in this..

I would like to emphasize the fact that, in my dictionary there's no such thing as a guy breakdown regards to what the normal social norms poses weaknesses..
Hello, guys also have feelings??

Blame the god for saken social norms for all these unnecessary issues like guys must not cry, girls must have humongous bosom and butt or an hourglass figure or a model's look and features

Looking back at what had occurred..
How bad that it affects you when you hurt someone so much?
The only thing to find out is there's no other ways to make the one feeling unhurt other than the way of reversing what had been said..

Have you ever felt being so helpless?
Feeling of there's nothing that can be done?
Or the feeling of reversing time?
Or the fact that you can do nuts?

*Oops*
The Brandy's "Have you ever" is automatically playing by itself now

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

*打瞌睡*
我真的很爱睡。。
今天真的很累但是我还有很长的一天要度过！！
我觉得下午，我会喝一杯咖啡来吧自己不要打瞌睡

今天的感觉好像。。一个新的一天。。虽然不是新鲜的感觉因为打瞌睡。。
我做的一切好像統通都是错得。。这样有错那样有错。。
我都不知道应该做什么才对。。

我也很想说，谁说男孩不能流眼泪?
男孩不是人吗?

Social norms的错！巴这一个想法粘在人的心里面。。比如说，男人不能哭。。女人一定要美丽的身材

我想起来过了的事。。
一个您很注意的人，您巴他伤心了，您有什么感觉呢?
对我来说最痛苦的是我没有那个能力巴一切变好除了巴所有的话存回来。。

您有试过好像没有用的感觉吗?
觉得没有什么可以做。。
或是想要巴时间reverse
或是您真的觉得很没有用

Caught in the middle

2011-01-11T09:44:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling tad lazy now a days..
I wonder why~
Please god, give me the strength to be able to NOT to be lazy..

Choices that we made or make in life..
How sure are you that it will be right?
Intuition?
Speculation?
Research?
Analyzing?

Which is you?
or rather in WHICH circumstances that one will think with their heads and WHICH circumstances that one will just follow their heart?

The feeling of you know it might not be right. But you can't easily say NO to decline that choice because the NO choice hurts you in the sense of perceive..

Felt it before?

Like stuck in the middle or so?
Between you, the other and the society..
I hate being stuck in all angles..

这几天，我不知道为什么我觉得很懒惰。。
为什么呢?
希望我不会那么懒惰啦！

我们每天都会做决定。。
但是，您肯定您得决定是对的吗?
感觉?
觉得?
已经偵查了?
已经量了好和坏处?

您是哪一个呢?
或是，是在哪一个情况才您会巴感觉来决定或是哪一个情况您会用头脑去做决定?

不对的感觉但是您不能说“不要，不要”来解决问题因为会巴自己感觉到痛苦。。
有试过这样的感觉吗?
好像您站在中间。。
您，别人和社会。。
我很恨站在中间！！

Bliss and sorrow

2011-01-03T08:59:00.005+08:00

This is the second attempt and it turned out well as it is..KOT =P
第二次设法。。还好。。啦！ =P

The main ingredient is PINEAPPLE because there a whole load of pineapples and the scent of it DECAYING was swarming around my house!

Hence, pineapple sauced chicken was made~
我的主要得料是：黄梨。。
我的家有特别多黄梨！！
黄梨的要坏得味道几臭！！
就是这样，做了：黄梨鷄

Its dark~
I think the onion should be blamed on it..
The Onion Soup that was chosen..

Me:

The chicken NEEDS to be de-fat

*NO action or respond to that*

Ended I did it myself AND it is still rather oily..luckily it had been de-fat!!
一点儿黯..可能是因为洋葱的关系吧~
洋葱变成我们的選之。。

我：要把鷄的肥油丢掉
*没有什么respond*
最后我做。。但是还是很油。。

Cheese!!!cheese!!! OMG!!!
But not enough of it =(
The dish main actor/actress: eggplant

*End of self-made dishes*
最爱得cheese！！！
但是应该放不够 =(
主要得料是： eggplant

I finally get to taste this!! =)

But an honest issue that its rather costly ya..
But heck, worth the try..
Also, I do have the recipe but too bad..i don't have the crepe to make the edible crepe =(
我可以这一个蛋糕了！！！！
虽然有一点儿贵。。
我还是想吃！！！

Anyway, the left, Vanilla Crepe and the right, Strawberry Crepe

Bliss under a few layers of melancholy~

信服的痛苦

Cooking when home alone~

2010-12-27T08:52:00.006+08:00

These were said to be not PRESENTABLE

Brownies but does not taste like brownies..more like honey-heavily-stuffed-with-chocolate-cake

Loads of candies and also loads of barley around too~
=)

Hokey pokey: magical + sweet

2010-12-24T12:19:00.002+08:00

Take 1:
Paste paste paste..

What is the definition of PASTE?
According to The Free Dictionary (Source： http://www.thefreedictionary.com/paste),

PASTE means A soft, smooth, thick mixture or material, as:
a. A smooth viscous mixture, as of flour and water or of starch and water, that is used as an adhesive for joining light materials, such as paper and cloth.
b. The moist clay or clay mixture used in making porcelain or pottery. Also called pâte.
c. A smooth dough of water, flour, and butter or other shortening, used in making pastry.
d. A food that has been pounded until it is reduced to a smooth creamy mass: anchovy paste.
e. A sweet doughy candy or confection: rolled apricot paste.

Hokey pokey called cheese cakes, be it strawberry or blueberry or whatever are cheese PASTE instead of cheese CAKE

Cheese...PASTE??!!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Abruptly, the cake..or paste is no longer palatable to me!!
It doesn't sound..appetizing no more!
Although it is true that it is PASTE but~
Hmm..paste..hmm..

Take 2:
I'm sensitive to scent..I daresay
So we were having some random conversation and I said I *died*
Hokey pokey said

my scent can revive you

AHAHAHAHAAH!!!
Well, maybe it will huh?

**Fast facts: By refer also to The Free Dictionary (Source: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/hokey-pokey),

Hokey pokey means
1) another word for hocus-pocus
2) (Cookery) NZ a brittle toffee sold in lumps

Hokey pokey has the sweetness AND also the magic

現在很想見你

2010-12-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

昨晚上很開心有個夢
Zuo Wan Shang Hen Kai Xin You Ge Meng
(Last night I had a happy dream)
這個夢日日夜夜在心中
Zhe Ge Meng Ri Ri Ye Ye Zai Xin Zhong
(This dream is all I ever think of)
我撐開一把雨傘
Wo Cheng Kai Yi Ba Yu San
(In this dream I opened an umbrella)
展現我的勇敢
Zhan Xian Wo De Yong Gan
(I was courageous)
陪你走過熱鬧街頭
Pei Ni Zou Guo Re Nao Jie Tou
(Walking along the busy street with you)

你突然握著了我的手
Ni Tu Ran Wo Zhe Le Wo De Shou
(Suddenly you held my hand tightly)
你一定感覺到我的顫抖
Ni Yi Ding Gan Jue Dao Wo De Zhan Dou
(You must have felt me trembling)
在耳邊小聲說話
Zai Er Bian Xiao Sheng Shuo Hua
(You whispered in my ear)
說你心中的話
Shuo Ni Xin Zhong De Hua
(Telling me your feelings)
原來這是心有靈犀一點通
Yuan Lai Zhe Shi Xin You Ling Xi Yi Dian Tong
(It turned out that our feelings for each other were mutual)

現在很想見你
Xian Zai Hen Xiang Jian Ni
(I want to meet you now)
要打電話給你
Yao Da Dian Hua Gei Ni
(Wanna call you)
可是我的勇敢只在我夢里
Ke Shi Wo De Yong Gan Zhi Zai Wo Meng Li
(But I was courageous only in my dream)
和你去看電影
He Ni Qu Kan Dian Ying
(Watching a movie with you)
一起唱ktv
Yi Qi Chang KTV
(Singing KTV together)
我的世界就更明亮
Wo De Shi Jie Jiu Geng Ming Liang
(It would brighten up my world)

現在很想見你
Xian Zai Hen Xiang Jian Ni
(I really want to meet you now)
如果你會答應
Ru Guo Ni Hui Da Ying
(If you would agree)
我會試著實現夢里的情境
Wo Hui Shi Zhe Shi Xian Meng Li De Qing Jing
(I will try to make my dream a reality)
擁抱你在街上
Yong Bao Ni Zai Jie Shang
(Embracing you on the street)
不怕別人眼光
Bu Pa Bie Ren Yan Guang
(Not caring about what others think)
你是我永遠的夢想
Ni Shi Wo Yong Yuan De Meng Xiang
(For you are my dream forever)

The first bliss

2010-12-20T15:38:00.002+08:00

Life of baking and cooking is going to be blissful *fingers crossed*

One of 2011's resolution is going to be executed even BEFORE 2011 comes..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The first bliss =)

Quote of the day

2010-12-17T15:01:00.002+08:00

Ambiguous, he is not your lover, but he understands and care for you more than your lover

I don't know why that friend of mine used the word "Ambiguous" but..aha~

Quote of the day?

Why is it from you?

2010-12-14T23:35:00.003+08:00

I have came across so many people with so many different stories..
I have came across so many people with so many different obstacles..
I have came across so many people with so many different ways of reasoning..

But,
I have never came across a person who is..in THAT situation..
Okie, maybe i did but

A person who so called close and you're fond of..
Knowing that what lies to be felt..
Knowing that what lies ahead of it if it would to prolong..
Knowing that what lies in front of me in time to come..
Knowing that what obstacles will be beforehand that hinders the next step..
Knowing that what music that has to be faced by various parties..
Knowing that what endless enlightenment from different voices..
Knowing that what lies in my hand is...impossible

I don't understand why at times i just can't blog in a straight manner..
Why the foggy message protruded here?
Maybe yours truly is really a complicated person..
Or maybe she is just..
Afraid to say out loud something in her that she so badly wants to blurt it out..but held back..because..
She just..
c.a.n.n.o.t.
let it out..

Something..that she wants to say..
Something..that she wants you to know..
But maybe too much of pride..
Too much of uncertainties
Too much of to conceive
Too much to bear
Too much to incise
Too much that words itself could not express her

So she just let it slip..and go..

Something are best left unsaid

I wish I never knew you..I wish I never came across about you..I wish it never happens..

But, it already did..

I can manipulate and to blend into the fact that I had acquire but its from and occurring on YOU that I can't manipulate

您让我嚇一跳因为怕错过
但是我不能走
。。。。您让我發狂
。。。。但我没有那么勇敢面对因为是您的痛苦
就让我觉得更加。。痛苦也很难接受。。
为什么这样呢?

妥协

2010-12-13T10:14:00.003+08:00

每一个人時時刻刻想别人吧了。。

您有想过这么要让自己开心一点儿吗?

時時刻刻人对我说

以前你骂我，是因为为了我好

我都不知道我说了什么了。。
但，如果能让一个人该了变好。。
哪，我一定会觉得很开心。。
如果这一个是一个好事我觉得我不会放弃这一个好事。。

这一个世界有很多不同命的故事。。
您能接受别人的故事吗?
如果那别人是好命过您，您会觉得您很对不起自己。。
但，如果您遇见一个别人是差过您的呢，哪就这么办?
您会觉得对自己很骄傲吗?
或是您会有一点儿觉得可怜那个人然后就走了。。
真的要这样吗?

我不想懂的。。
我只是要开开心心的明白和度過这一个困难。。
我會永遠記住這種感覺
我不能答应您我是永远但是我是真心的关心
您可以。。。妥协吗?

2010 early wrap up

2010-12-10T11:12:00.004+08:00

I was slightly late for work today..
While I was driving, I got bored with the current CD that I was listening to it over and over again for the past few weeks and today I FINALLY decided to lift my fat hands and pushed the eject button..

The deejay came to live..

The year is coming to an end, have you fulfilled your resolution?

It got me cogitate awhile..
Hmm..had I?
Well, let's review what I had last year for myself..
http://purposeoflife-ponder.blogspot.com/2009/12/another-day-another-year.html

I did have the core three..
1) Bake
2) Educate well
3) Buck up on my chinese

So, let's lead off the analysing =P
1) Bake

How is or was my baking

Oops..I think I..
NO! NO!
I DID bake..but not frequent till I can refine on it..
Okie, so I admit..

I FLUNKED this
There, I said it..
But those not-so-very-often baking moments were great..
Okie, maybe I ain't need to press myself on too much regarding this because my main focus were diverted to resolution 2..I think that is more essential..

Sometimes I do wonder, what is baking to me now?
Its still my interest but suddenly I felt that..baking alone is..hurm.has to be lighten up..
I'm not saying that baking alone is sorrowful..but..I think I would like to share the moment..
But, the person of course has to be into it too..I mean come on, if the person is not, how can the person seek the same experience as what you seek during that moment, isn't it?

2) Educate well
As I just start out this the first time..I admit I was rather very unpolished..
I felt like i asphyxiate..
Very difficult indeed..
And I dare say I'm still learning..but I think I'm able to set myself to a system that encloses every corner of it.

Well, All that glitters is not gold
But I had the satisfaction in this when you know that the little one you had been with through thick and thin in books for their success =)
Although looking back at what the rascal had put you through and all but all were wiped out by that split seconds of holding a piece of paper, looking at the As or no red patches on it, at least!

=)

3) Buck up in my chinese
I did! I did my homework but me being a loggerheaded..I needed more time to remember the characters..but I think I improved~~

So, what is or are pose for 2011?
Hmm...that, will be another post then..too early to decide but not too soon to wrap up my 2010's..A few weeks makes no biggie isn't it? I changes nothing to it

*Task**task*

2010-12-09T11:27:00.002+08:00

u know what exactly couple mean for?
kalau die x win ur heart
maknanya
xde cinta tu sgt
but just care

Itulah babak yang harus dikenal pasti..
Bukankah gitu?

Have you ever got mixed up with your feelings on love and also care?
Is it that care=love?
or love=care?

When you have love, you'll definitely have care
But when you have care, the love might not be there..

And mankind just gets confused about these two existence..

Do you LOVE that someone
or
Do you just CARE that someone

Do you LOVE that someone
or
Its just a responsibility that you think you SHOULD do that

Have you ever undergo the feeling of wrong doing?
How can you be sure of what you feel?
But I can now secernate between those 3 as mentioned and the result is not really good..
Its bad,
no, worst than bad..
Its...

Abominable
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Atrocious

So what?

2010-12-06T09:48:00.003+08:00

Its great to came across new people and learn about them at times, be it a person that you just knew or a person that you've just met..

There's always a background on every person huh?

I've always heard how nasty the experience was and all by people who aren't close or a stranger..

But have you heard it from a person that you knew before?

Having said not much but the pain that you can picture of going through the fractious situation..
When I first being exposed about it, okie, I admit I was quite taken aback..
I did not expect that was what had occurred..
And to my counter surprise that people really tend to MOVE away?
Hmm, that's..well, I have no words for it
and the person asked me will I seep away..
I was so gobsmacked by that query..That question really made my heart skipped a beat..
I mean, what kind of QUESTION is THAT??
God~
Well, maybe I'm not in that person's shoes so I don't know how it feels or how often this ever happens but..

Know what?
FYI, half of the day..no..more of like three quarter of the day that was spent, I totally forgotten that the person with me is erm.."not-the-same?"..
I don't know how to pen down my opine on this through words..
But, can you get my drift, don't you?
All I can say is..

So what?

你知道?

2010-11-29T14:05:00.002+08:00

从来没想过
Never thought that
不能再和你牵手
Could not hold your hand no more
委屈时候没有你
Something amiss and you're not here
陪着我心痛
Accompany my broken hearted
一切都是我
Or is it me
太过骄纵
Too arrogant
以为你会懂
Assuming that you understood
一直忘了说
Always forget to say that
我有多感动
I am extremely touched

我知道你还是爱着我
I know that you still love me
虽然分开的理由
Although we have separated
我们都已接受
We accepted the reason
你知道我会有多难过
You know how hurt will I be
所以即使到最后
That's why, until the very end
还微笑着要我加油
trying to cheer me up, wants me to be strong
我知道你还放不下我
I know you still can't let go of me
才会在离开时
When you left
闭着眼没有回头
Eyes shut and did not look back
我们都知道彼此心中
We both know what both of us have in mind
其实这份爱没停过
The actual fact that the love in us did not stop at all

曾经完整幸福的梦
The previous dreams of happiness
在脑海里头
Are still in my mind
我多希望你
I was hoping so much that you
还在我左右
You're still here

答应你我会好好过
Promise you that I will move on well
不让这些眼泪白流
Will not let these tears to waste

你硕的话

2010-11-19T12:35:00.003+08:00

你说的话我都相信
The words you said, I believed

说得好听说得甜蜜
Said it very pleasantly and also very sweet

你说的每一句我都相信
Every word you said, I believed

为了爱情失了聪明
Because of love, neglected ingenious

听你的话闭上眼睛
Listening to your words, closes my eyes

这个梦多美丽让它继续
This dream is so blissful that I don't want it to end

你说的话总那么好听
The words you said were so sweet

你爱不爱我不能确定
You love me or not, I cannot determine

也许你只把他当游戏
Or you just take it as a game

我却爱得太用力
I put too much effort in this

你说的话我都相信
The words you said, I believed

说得好听说得甜蜜
Said it very pleasantly and also very sweet

你说的每一句我都相信
Every word you said, I believed

为了爱情失了聪明
Because of love, neglected ingenious

听你的话闭上眼睛
Listening to your words, closes my eyes

这个梦多美丽让它继续
This dream is so blissful that I don't want it to end

你说的话总那么好听
The words you said were so sweet

你爱不爱我不能确定
YOu love me or not, I cannot determine

也许你只把他当游戏
Or you just take it as a game

我却没那么聪明
I think I'm not that smart

你说的话总那么好听
The words you said are always so sweet

你爱不爱我不想确定
You love me or not, I cannot determine

我会关掉你送的手机
I will turn off the phone

然后静静不去理
Then I'll silently ignore it

你说的话总那么好听
The words you said are always so sweet

你爱不爱我不想确定
You love me or not, I don't want to guess anymore

我会关掉你送的手机
I will turn off the phone

然后静静静静
Then, quietly, silently

是再也不去理
Ignore it

obsessions

2010-11-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

You’re scared
It shows
Been there
You’re not prepared to be
In love
With me
So soon cause you've been through enough to have
Something hold you back

We don’t need to go that far
Let’s hold on to where we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Cause all I need is you

They say
Don't waste
Your time
They're obviously blind

So let’s
Forget
The words the thoughts they put into your head
Don't give up just yet

We don’t need to go that far
Let’s hold on to where we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Cause all I need is you

We don’t need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I’ll hold on too
Cause all I need is --

Baby, maybe we should start somewhere
baby, let me in your heart
Before we fall apart

We don’t need to go too far
Let’s hold on to who we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Cause all I need is you

We don’t need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I’ll hold on too
Cause all I need is you
All I need is you
All I need is you

Jadey yow became perfect meal

2010-11-11T12:29:00.002+08:00

It was a typical Thursday morning when suddenly popped out a brief tinge of Chipsmore for me..

To my utter surprise..
I had a new meaning for my name that my parents or..rather my uncle who had cogitate in naming this wicked little girl when she first added harm to the universe (by contributing more CO2 to the world and also waste)

Blimey the significance of my name had been altered to

Got vegetable meat

This, needs a little of chinese language..specifically Cantonese skills to tackle the jest

Yow = 有
Choi = 采
Yoke = 肉

where the actual was

Yow = 游
Choi = 翠
Yoke = 玉

Due to utmost hunger..
My name has been transformed instantaneously..
Well..

I DIDN'T THOUGHT OF THAT!!!

Well, you humour me
With the addition that

ur a pretty healty diet arent u?

and added

but u still nid some eggs

Then after pensive
The person realized that I have eggs..

Yoke = yolk = 蛋

With that,
I had been labeled
Perfect meal

What a Chipsmore

Have you ever felt this way before?

2010-11-10T09:19:00.007+08:00

Have you ever wonder what does a Homo sapiens actually WANTS?

Humans are very subjective that they are NEVER satisfied..
Once they got hold of a gold..its still a gold but after few months, the gold is still a gold but it is just not as shiny and attractive gold as we used to view it before, isn't it?

SO the law of attraction in mankind, be it for a person or a thing..does applies the same way huh?

Say you saw a guy/a girl whom you think is suitable for you..after the chase and you get him/her with your bait..then things kind of starting to ware off as the other side already held your bait oh-so-very-tightly that you ain't need to use your strength to wind your fishing rod with effort, isn't it?

Then, you saw another larger more attractive fish..looking at the one occupying your rod, you dump that to give room to the new fish that you saw..

This, applies to things that we see in life too..
There are loads of fish in the flowing liquid..

But there are some who still hooked-on to the same fish although there are and forever will be more attractive fish in the sea due to the fact that human population and also the genetic variation will not stagnant..as long as mankind breed..

So why certain people able to resist the temptation yet there are so many around?
It all depends on what you're looking for isn't it?

Have you ever asked yourself what are you really looking for in accordance to get a TRUE other half?

If the looks, the physical appearances..
From my point of view, I'll back out..if ever someone falls just because of that..

So what if the person is a hunk/babe but like a piece of bacon internally?

So what if the person is good looking but too engrossed with himself/herself that neglected you by thinking that you're beginning to not to be able to suite his/her great looks no more?

So what if the person is handsome/gorgeous but treats you like dirt?

So if ever things were still able to maintain..you hold yourself..under that person's mercy but have you ever wondered what happens when the person begins to age?

Will you still want the very same person but has wrinkles, patches or scars?
You'll tell me: I'll get another attractive fish
So I called this: Temporary, untrue love?

If you're looking at the money..
So what if he has the bucks but personality sucks and also tucks himself with other girls?

So what if she has the bucks but being looked down upon on you depending on woman's money to live as the human norms unintentionally, accidentally made an informal rule that male should be the main breadwinner..

Can you handle the pain? Oh yes, maybe you can..because is the money you're looking for..

So what if the person at a sudden go bankrupt?

If you're looking for security..
Okie, so this is me..
Looking for something that is secure..

Addy once asked me:

What kind of security?

It made me ponder..
I've always ponder on security in the other half..but how exactly it should be?

Possibly,
Someone who will always be there when I needed..
Its NOT the fact that the person has to be 24/7 on standby for me..
No that whenever I dial his number, he has to dump whatsoever he is doing and take a flee for me..
At least I know where to reach for him when I'm trouble emotionally and physically..
This is rather subjective..
He at times does not has to be right in front of my eyes but at times a simple phone call will do.

Someone who is honest
As in no cover ups..be it about himself or about the things he had do or done..
Some says that they lie because they did want to hurt the other party's feeling because they know it sure to hurt the other party if the truth is being revealed..

But for me,

I think its more hurting to know that you, lied to me lagi-lagi about THIS matter that you know I WILL feel hurt about it than you telling it to me WITHOUT lying to me

I don't require you to ask for MY permission about meeting who, going where..
I just need you to tell me..that's all..with that, it all goes back to security, to be able to know where to reach out for you when in case I need to

Someone who understands..
I'm not asking you to analyze me till you can write a book out of me..
Hmm..
I don't know how to put this..
At times, you just have to know a few about the person you're with in order to create the give and take situation, isn't it?

I can't be the only 1 trying to make this relationship work..
Putting all efforts like going on extra miles and all just for him although at times there's a few obstacles hindering..

Likewise,

He can't be the only 1 trying to make this relationship work..
Putting all efforts like going on extra miles and all just for her although at times there's a few obstacles hindering..

So which are you? I daresay that NO ONE will never did not ever not putting effort at all in a relationship but how much is much?

Are you more of the receiving end or the giving end?
Well, this question is dully asked..

The actual one should be..

Do you feel like you're choking and gasping for air in this relation?

If you do, maybe its you're trying too hard..on your own but not reciprocated
Always giving and hoping for a return but it disappoints you most of the time..
To me, it doesn't matter who gives out more but to feel suffocating but clinging on or every time you gag in this relation?
Hmm, have you ever felt this feeling before?

I did.
And it hurts.
A lot.
I feel like someone squeezing my throat that clenched that
I..
I..
I can't take it no more
But you still favours the person..
But, what are you going to do?
You let go..?
Have you ever felt this way before?

Crazy

2010-11-08T10:37:00.002+08:00

God I'm so sleepy!!!
I wonder why I can just..do not need the service of my alarm clock no more..
Myself is getting up at 6AM EVERYDAY now!!
I know its a good thing as
it means my body is already being independent of the alarm and also
being used to the normal biological clock of mine

but

For god's sake!! I...

I don't NEED to wake up at 6AM in ANY day in my life...for now..then why it is set at 6AM??!!!

*Sigh*

God!!!! I'm so extremely sleepy!!!

Jadey is tad nonfunctional
1) I'm sleepy
2) 6AM...AGAIN??!!
3) Having her craving for her favourite wantan mee..why??WHY??!!
4) Feeling extremely bored~
5) Thinking with her head
6) Feeling...lazy
7) Wants a getaway =(

Jadey Jade..Hmm..since when my name had added an additional "y" at the end of it? =P

我很爱睡！！
现在我每次六点儿就醒了！
别人说是一个好事
因为
(一) 不用钟了
(二) 我习惯了

但是

六点儿！！！为什么了！！！我都不用那么早！！
我很睡！

玉一点儿疯掉了。。
(一) 我很爱睡
(二) 又六点儿早上！！！
(三) 突然想吃她爱的 Wantan mee
(四) 觉得很闷很闷
(五) 用头脑来想
(六) 很懒惰
(七) 想去走走。。

Jadey Jade..Hmm..几时我的名加了多以个“y”在后面了?
=P

Current obsession

Hebe Tian - Wo Xiang Wo Bu Hui Ai Ni (i Think I Can't Love You)

你的呼吸还有你的声音
ni de hu xi hai you ni de sheng yin
你的呼吸穿过身体
ni de hu xi chuan guo shen ti
我来不及反应
wo lai bu ji fan ying
你的声音躲在耳里让我生病
ni de sheng yin duo zai er li rang wo sheng bing
谢谢你给的让我沉迷
xie xie ni gei de rang wo chen mi

让我丢掉了姓名
rang wo diu diao le xing ming
在好奇的时候拉不住眼睛
zai hao qi de shi hou la bu zhu yan jing

我想我不会爱你这样下去
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni zhe yang xia qu
渺小的自尊都快要抛弃
miao xiao de zi zhun dou kuai yao pao qi
我想我不会爱你只是也许
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni zhi shi ye xu

你的叹息散落一地
ni de tan xi san luo yi di
让我歇斯底里
rang wo xie si di li
靠得太近一不小心弄伤自己
kao de tai jing yi bu xiao xin nong shang zi ji
谢谢你给的让我沉迷
xie xie ni gei de rang wo chen mi
让我困住了自己
rang wo kun zhu le zi ji
在迷路的时候舍不得离去
zai mi lu de shi hou she bu de li qu
我想我不会爱你这样下去
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni zhe yang xia qu
渺小的自尊都快要抛弃
miao xiao de zi zhun dou kuai yao pao qi
我想我不会恨你伤的痕迹
wo xiang wo bu hui hen ni shang de hen ji
住在我心底变成了秘密
zhu zai wo xin di bian cheng le mi mi
我想我不会爱你害怕失去
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni hai pa shi qu
所以逞强的远远看着你
suo yi cheng qiang de yuan yuan kan zhe ni
我想我不会恨你只是也许
wo xiang wo bu hui hen ni zhi shi ye xu
我想我不会爱你这样下去
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni zhe yang xia qu
渺小的自尊都快要抛弃
miao xiao de zi zhun dou kuai yao pao qi
我想我不会恨你伤的痕迹
wo xiang wo bu hui hen ni shang de hen ji
住在我心底变成了秘密
zhu zai wo xin di bian cheng le mi mi
我想我不会爱你害怕失去
wo xiang wo bu hui ai ni hai pa shi qu
所以逞强的远远看着你
suo yi cheng qiang de yuan yuan kan zhe ni
我想我不会恨你只是也许
wo xiang wo bu hui hen ni zhi shi ye xu

2010-11-05T08:28:00.003+08:00

WEEE~~~~

My 1st chocolate moist cake!!! =)

Okie, so maybe it doesn't look good..but..I hope it taste good??

But Chipsmore didn't what to try it =(

eye twitching

2010-10-28T13:28:00.003+08:00

Scene 1:
My eye had been twitching since morning today..
It reminds me of the old folks saying about various superstitions when it comes to this eye twitching manner..

There are 2 indications as it depends on which eye that is twitching..

An old Chinese saying about twitching eyelids says that "the twitching of the left eyelid indicates the coming of good fortune; while the right one is a warning about the coming bad luck

But to my uttermost surprised that it bound to happen the opposite for a female!

In women the tables are turned as a twitching right eye signifies good luck while a twitching left one is considered a bad prognostic

Well, well, being a crap myself I decided to google it and heck, there's other indications of it from the eye of the other races perspectives..

Surely and definately the scientific world brushes off this indications from our mind and insert some diseases that are bound to happen ahead of us with regards to the simple act of eye twitching

But the scientific world did gave me a detailed explaination of the causes of eye twitching..

Why Does My Eye Twitch?
Stress:
While we're all under stress at times, our bodies react in different ways. Eye twitching can be one sign of stress, especially when it is related to vision problems such as eye strain. Reducing the cause of the stress can help make the twitching stop.

Tiredness:
A lack of sleep, whether because of stress or some other reason, can trigger eyelid spasms. Catching up on your sleep can help.

Eyestrain:
Vision-related stress can occur if, for instance, you need glasses or a change of glasses. Your eyes may be working too hard, triggering eyelid twitching. Computer eye strain from computer use is also a very common cause of vision-related stress.

If your eyelid twitching is persistent and very annoying, you should have an eye exam, because you may need vision correction. If you spend a lot of time on the computer, you also should consider talking to your eye doctor about special computer eyeglasses.

Caffeine and alcohol:
Many experts believe that too much caffeine and/or alcohol can trigger eye twitches. If your caffeine (coffee, tea, soda pop, etc.) and/or alcohol intake has increased, cutting back is worth a try.

Dry eyes:
More than half the older population experiences dry eyes, due to aging. Dry eyes also are very common for people who use computers, take certain medications (antihistamines, antidepressants, etc.), wear contact lenses and consume caffeine and/or alcohol. If you are tired and under stress, you also may develop dry eye. It's best to see your eye doctor for a dry eye evaluation, because many treatments are now available.

Nutritional imbalances

Allergies:
People with eye allergies can have itching, swelling and watery eyes. When eyes are rubbed, this releases histamine into the lid tissues and the tears. This is significant, because some evidence indicates that histamine can cause eyelid twitching.
(Source: http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/eye-twitching.htm)

But in my case, my right eye is twicthing so according to the chinese view is it..GOOD LUCK!!! =P (ignored the scientific matter =P)

Scene 2:
Another crappy unexpected incident that I came acrossed was

Make sure your hair is clean so that you will not have dandruff because I can see it as you're far shorter than me

WTH!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!
I'm not mad that the person said that I'm super short..I just felt so very extremely hilarious about that..I didn;t even THOUGHT about that dandruff issue before..ahaha~

背叛自己

2010-10-26T14:52:00.002+08:00

In a very hot online getaway, someone posted a simple article..

Jika anda seorang wanita, carilah lelaki yang mempunyai sifat-sifat berikut.
Jika anda seorang lelaki, jadilah seorang lelaki yang mempunyai sifat-sifat berikut.

1. Kuat amalan agamanya. Menjaga solat fardhu, kerap berjemaah dan solat pada awal waktu. Auratnya juga sentiasa dipelihara dan memakai pakaian yang sopan. Sifat ini boleh dilihat terutama sewaktu bersukan.
2. Akhlaknya baik, iaitu seorang yang nampak tegas, tetapi sebenarnya seorang yang lembut dan mudah bertolak ansur. Pertuturannya juga mesti sopan, melambangkan peribadi dan hatinya yang mulia.
3. Tegas mempertahankan maruahnya. Tidak berkunjung ke tempat-tempat yang boleh menjatuhkan kredibilitinya.
4. Amanah, tidak mengabaikan tugas yang diberikan dan tidak menyalahgunakan kuasa dan kedudukan.
5. Tidak boros, tetapi tidak kedekut. Tahu membelanjakan wang dengan bijaksana.
6. Menjaga mata dengan tidak melihat perempuan lain yang lalu lalang ketika sedang bercakap-cakap.
7. Pergaulan yang terbatas, tidak mengamalkan cara hidup bebas walaupun dia tahu dirinya mampu berbuat demikian.
8. Mempunyai rakan pergaulan yang baik. Rakan pergaulan seseorang itu biasanya sama.
9. Bertanggungjawab. Lihatlah dia dengan keluarga dan ibu bapanya.
10. Wajah yang tenang, tidak kira semasa bercakap atau membuat kerja atau masa kecemasan.

Okie maybe this note clearly states the race of the great authour but the contents still, able to apply to some others who might not be what the authour race is..

Having said that, these are somewhat simple requirements that humans, apart from vit M..able to comply to it?

Ponder ponder

Have I got it?
All the requirement from the other half?
Well, I will not give a definate yes or no here in order to preserve the answer to myself..well, sometimes, people needs to be less transparent huh? =P

But what I can say it as what is written on my "muka buku"(thank you Fong-san for this ever so directly translated word) that:

sometimes, you need let go of something that you treasure so much but unstable in order to scarify for something that is not that a roller coaster ride or stable to you

我背叛自己

best mistake i've ever made

2010-10-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

One step too far
All at once I'm falling
Just like a star
I'm burning for you
Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way
I guess that was my first mistake

Cause suddenly I'm walking'
Down a dark street to your door
Wanting you is driving' me insane
And now my feet are standing
Where they've never stood before
Guided by a twist of fate

If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I won't be afraid
Cause ever if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I ever made

I'm in your room
Now there's no denying'
What's in your eyes
When I look at you
Two shadows talking' but they don't make a sound
Words have lost their meaning now

And the air has turned electric
Now I know the time is right
To put myself into your hands
And suddenly I'm shaking'
As your fingers touch my skin
I don't need to understand

And if tomorrow proves me wrong
I swear I don't belong
I know I'll carry on

So I will lose myself and bare my soul
Take this chance cause heaven knows
I'm so far gone, my choice is made
And even if my heart should break

When I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I'll always say
You're the best mistake I ever made

who is the real Jade?

2010-10-18T11:10:00.007+08:00

After months of my long-lost friend since contacted me..
I missed you

This cleared up the fog in my eyes..

It true..
I'm being rather one sided..
This problem arises from me..
I do not deserve the greatness of God's gift now as I myself wasn't that stable enough for all these..
No matter how many good deeds falls into my hands, I still able to dish out a few faults from the great deeds..

Here, I would like to deeply apologise to my love ones..
For being ignorance
Trying to avoid myself to fix what has been hurt inside myself
I choose to spend hours on other people and other issues instead of being with myself to understand myself

But,
I'm still a coward..
God, please forbid that and make me foresee what is best for the best..
He, who shone above me all the time..leading me through the path with his lights but I turned it away..
Not in a bad way but He who shone me the BEST way but I blindly took the better way instead
(Grammar reminder: good, better, best)
Some things that had been done could not be rewind..

The friend said:

You're still hurt Jade..you still need time..maybe you should just cool down before starting it again..you're not the Jade that I used to know..

last time..
u are more happy go lucky la..
not restricted that much

Jade is just wearing a happy mask all these years
Jade is just an actor on the stage when she needs to act in front of certain people
Jade is just an actor MOST of the time when she is by herself
Jade wants to break free
Jade seeks HIM, all mighty
Jade knows HE will never tired to shone lights again and again like a GPS human had created now
Jade wants to peel off the sadness in her
Jade knelt down before HIM for forgiveness

God, help me
To search for myself..
Who is the real Jade?

Life

2010-10-14T12:11:00.003+08:00

Thought 1:
The people around here were talking..mostly on fruitless issues..
All the random craps that they can think of..
Or I daresay its more of in forms of insults..
As I laid myself at a dark corner to avoid myself from those fruitless stories..

Jade is not happy here..
Well, I unintentionally proposed a hypothesis (can't define it as a theory as not scientically proven yet =P)

if the job is ok but people like shit..job=shit.if job shit, people are ok, job=not so shity..still can tahan..if job not okie, people are half half okie, job=shit(Jade Yow, 2010)

Thank you for Stephy for the citation in facebook..ahaha..

Isn't it true?
I mean no matter how great or extravagant the job is but having shity people around, the job ain't that extravagant no more as you can't just try to hide a corner or to avoid the stage or the lime light that lighted up the whole office..

No matter how much you try..you simple just can't avoid as certain circumstances..

Thought 2:
I was in the midst of boredom so I hogged onto my previous staled post that I had written here every since the day I started blogging..

All that I can express was

WOW

But, that ain't a good expression for that..
Why?
I think I'm still not grown..mentally..
Definately hoping physically to slow down the aging processes..

Have you ever wondered all revolved around us human is just education, bring home the bacon, affection..
Aren't we humans tired?
Again and again..

I believe in this very realm, all aspects of life had been encountered but it depends on the person able to handle it well or so or otherwise..

During our forefathers, education wasn't the main factor but not it is..

Blame evolution that had to make us work extra for income to lay food on the table and also for the extra now like education..

Every living organism in this world needs a soulmate be it even the simplest microorganism, some of them also requires a soulmate together..the microorganism doesn't travel alone, no?

Ditto to humans a multiorganism that was claimed to the the most vulnerable and mind boggling creatures in the world..
This always being blamed as the most faulty reason to slow down mankind..
Well, is that so?
I think its the emotion that has to be guilty for these
Or at times there were to many options in life that we wnat to try out all options in order to see which falls prefectly into your hands

I hate being in the middle..
I hate choices now but without choices, life is dull and you might get the wrong person or whatever it is because you have NO chioce..well, as what a saying said

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything

I hate life!

Current obsession

2010-10-13T12:50:00.003+08:00

I realised that people around my age or within my circle of friends, at least..rarely update their blog..all left redundant..like mine!

Either
a) we grew out of it as we know how to sustain the emotion and also the pressure in life for those who had the same reason as I am to blog

or

b) we just don't have time for it, no more although we so badly want to mention every nook and crany in it..

So, what's my option?
Hmm..
I would say...

c) all above

=P

Although life for me had been rather..routine..but there still some varies between the lines..

Where should I start, I don't know..
Just take it as..
There's so much that needed pondering
decisions decisions..

Jade, you can't but its not impossible

Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?

2010-09-21T12:18:00.002+08:00

I've came across a blog that says things fairly true..
People from other places just merely have it at a natural garden and all but we Malaysians NEED to have it in hotels, RM500++ per table restaurants..
What about after married?
Left nil?
That's what I always mention to the other half that ain't need to be THAT grand..
Who's paying the bills for us when we have our own family, right?
Marriage is a pure union not a union that has to fork out the whole Vitamin M..
Or, let's make it bad: you're selling your daughter?
I hope my old folks will not do this to me
*Sigh*

Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
Let me give an example.
It is a little bit long example. If you want to skip it, there is a summary at the end.

Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a carrier
as an executive officer working somewhere in KL with a salary, say RM2000 per month and without any saving in the bank.

Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods, transportation (public or motorcycle), electricity, water, phone, house rent and other expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most. Then, because you are a good son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about RM300 per month. This will
give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you are very discipline with
your budget, so you save about RM5000.

The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you
plan to get married after one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you
time to save some more money and some more time to prepare the basic
necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to live under. That year
because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%.

Since you are also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for her. Like the previous year, after much sweat and Meggie-eating months, you save another RM5000. Your company is doing ok. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, another RM4000 is added to your saving. So, your total saving now is RM14,000. You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, you net saving that year is RM6000.

The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because now you have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is cut down to about RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year. No bonus that year because your company is doing poor. So, your total saving in the bank is RM11,000. Then, you decide to get engaged with your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an engagement ring. RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your net saving that year is RM9,500.

The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted. Your
salary now is 1.5 of your starting salary at the company. Good news! You think. "Ok, this year
I will get married". You also are 'gersang' already. :)

So, you ask your fiancée "how much is the dowry (hantaran)? "
She say, "berapa-berapa yang u sanggup".
You ask,"RM5000 ok?".
She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia kata grad oversea macam I ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!".

Your eyes 'terjegil', air liur 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot.
"Where else in the world can I get extra money?", you say to yourself. But, because you are very determined to get married with your dream girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year until you are awarded "The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months of bonus. You also do some side business to supply ayam pencen. So, roughly your net saving at the end of that year is RM20,000.

Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving in the bank to pay for the dowry. But then, come your mom saying,"Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti la buat grand grand. Kita sewa khemah besar-besar, jemput penyanyi ke artis ke sorang dua datang buat persembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje la ya? RM10 je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, kita sewa yg cantik-cantik
dan mahal-mahal sket. Kita jemput dalam 1000 orang datang ok?"

You did a quick in-the-head-calculation,
"1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!"
You say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?"
Your mom replies,"Apa pulak membazirnya? Kau kawin sekali je seumur hidup.
`Biarlah buat betul-betul." You insist,"Tapi mak?"
Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran kita tu buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri puan sri lagi datang. Mana la mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".

Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after marriage that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have debts around your waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot afford to pay them, you wife gets tired of you asking money from her, she accuses you of being irresponsible husband for not being a good provider, blah blah blah? At the
end, you two go into separate ways? You get divorced.
Problem breeds problem? Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing in our country.
The above example may not represent the whole phenomena in our culture, but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple these days are facing in getting married from my perspective.

The Root Cause of The Problem...
There is something wrong in our culture. I really think there are some practices in our culture in Malaysia (Malay culture specifically) that do not make sense and especially they are contrary to the teaching of Islam. These practices are well-rooted in our culture that
unfortunately because of them, many people are 'afraid' to get married, or simply feel like they cannot afford when they are actually can afford. These are some of my observation and summary analysis:

(1) Marriage should be done in the most modest way but in Malaysia, it is ought to be done in the most lavish way. Competition on whose wedding is the most grandeur is almost unavoidable. Fame is usually the reason why people spend unreasonable and wasteful amount of money for a wedding.

(2) The "price" of a woman is measured according to her perhaps educational status not according to her knowledge and understanding of Deen and piety as suggested by the religion. The saddest thing is that "price" is put on women, who are supposed to be, if God-loving, kind-hearted and pious ones, "priceless"! 'Dowry' system is adopted by the Malays from perhaps the Indians who came to Malaysia long time ago. When the 'dowry' is put too high and men can't afford to pay, marriage is usually delayed or canceled. An effort to build another small brick unit of this Deen is delayed or perhaps destroyed only for this reason.

(3) Marriage should be a quick and easy process for the couple not hard,
which eventually becomes a burden. These days, we make marriage so complicated that people are afraid of getting married. When I was in the Sydney, I saw Muslim brothers and sisters getting married at the mosque, with just some sweets as the main course for the guests. The guests who were invited to witness the ceremony were usually whoever
prayed jemaah at the mosque or some close relatives and friends. There
is no point of being extravagance. We should focus on the life after wedding not the wedding
itself. Wedding is only a door to the marriage house. Why should we spent a lot of money to decorate the door so beautifully, when the inside of the house is then left empty, dark and unattractive?

...and the pressure is on men...

This great source is from: http://ninanurziana.blogspot.com/2010/05/nape-lelaki-kawin-lambat.html

Miranda Cosgrove - Kissing You

2010-09-09T12:43:00.004+08:00

I love this song!!!!
Have you ever came across a song that reminds you of someone? ;)

Sparks fly
It's like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's
No where in this world I'd rather be

Time stops
Like everything around me
Is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things
I've never seen

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this till
I knew it was right for me

But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed
I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love

3 chapters~ and going??!!

2010-09-06T09:33:00.005+08:00

It was the time of the year again~
This is like,
The first occasion like this that comes in part..so:
这一个时间又到了。。
但，第一次好像有很多 chapter 的。。

Part 1:
As I ventured myself into this interest of mine, I decided to suck up my courage to make something for an occasion..
Though I’m still a chicken to make something for a large crowd but I’m brave enough to try on a small scale basis..like those people around me will be my lab rats =P
我要试做一个。。
所以，他变成我的白老鼠 =P

With that, my result:

Okie, so the 1st trial failed..thus I wasted 7 eggs in total..*Sigh*
**don't tell dad
我的到的结果
第一的不成功
我浪费了七粒蛋

I was very unsatisfied with it because my cake jadi..only the meringue, which was the final step killed the whole cake so..my 2nd trial:

*Viola!*Behold my success!!!

Baked Alaska: ice cream cake
我很不满意
最後的 step 让我的蛋糕不成功
我又在试过！
我成功了！！！！
Baked Alaska: ice cream 蛋糕

I started at 9PM and ended up at around 12AM..Not bad though for the 3 hours..for this 3 step cake..
I even need to do it a day earlier for the ice cream..but I still FAIL to make my own ice cream..*Sigh*
It doesn't freeze like it supposed to be..its still creamy..hmm..I wonder why~
So, I have no choice to cheat by buying the ice cream instead.. =(
This is the most energy using cake I've ever made, since I don't even have an electric hand mixer, I used my own "manual hand" to mix with the beater and boy, I think I've gain muscles overnight!
我晚上九点开始做到早上十二点。。三个中。。okiela~
也要早一天做 ice cream 但还没成功
最後，我 cheated。我买 ice cream
这一个是罪用力的。。我没有 electric hand mixer 所以没颁发要用 "manual hand" to mix
我突然很有 muscles 了！

I was so extremely tired but..waited till 1AM it was tasted and..waited for our main person too long and the ice cream inside could no longer wait for the owner to claim and melted off =(

After that speedy blow off and cutting ceremony, I partly died throughout the night already..too exhausted in being the "electric" mixer
我很累但要等到 the owner 到。。
等到一点。。等到 ice cream 都不要等了。。“他”睡了。。

Part 2:
Pictures says it all..

The waiting

The main course 1

Main course 2

Appetizer? =P but a hell expensive one

The culprit for the meal..okie But rather costly..yours truly is broke for this month..so shoo! Don't request money from me..

还好但是很贵
就是这样我，没有钱了
shoo!
不要问我钱！

Part 3:
Friends outing WITHOUT me so no cerita!

Self gaining or underarms?

2010-08-20T09:03:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered why the world is so darn unfair?

Some people worked their ass out to earn a living..
Some ain't need to work their asses out, just hover over and money just flows into their pockets

*Sigh*

I wish life was as simple as like that for me
But what to do..you don't have the looks or the luck to be one..
I'm not hesitating on the gift that god had given me but just a ponder on this..

Which will you rather be?
A person who earns with their own capabilities

or

A person who earns by the looks or because of relationships and not by capabilities.
**exclude housewives, singers and models..these people is said to have CAPABILITIES..those otherwise are refer to those who just do not strive themselves but money comes right in front

Maybe its just your luck that you're unable to earn that way..
But is it worth that way?
Sometimes you might sigh and wonder why our life can't be that way
But, then do you really want to be under someone's underarms until your time pass off?
Most people will say

Of course! You're stupid if you said no..Ain't need to work and fully paid every month

Freedom?
Satisfaction in gaining by self?

Ain't important no more

你有没有想过为什么我们的世界那么不公平

一半的人工作做到很累为了要赚钱
一半的人不工作做到很累都可以得到一样的薪水或是跟高过那一些一半的人工作做到很累

*叹息*

我也希望我的命有那么好。。
但是我没那么好命。。没有样子没有 luck
我不是在这里叹息因为神给我少了一部分的东四。。

我只是在想。。
你要做哪一个人了?

一个人，有能力自己做什么也好。。

或是

一个人，没有能力做什么。。只是依靠样子或是关系
**这一个不算 housewives 或是明星。。没能力的人是哪一些坐吧了但得到薪水

可能我没那么好命。。
但是,是值得吗?
每个人会叹息但你真的想这样吗?
很多人一定会所

一定！不用做什么也的得到钱

自由?
满足?

现在都不重要了..

job=??? money??

2010-08-11T12:02:00.004+08:00

Have you ever wondered why in the world we studied that hard just to get a word degree or diploma or whatever after or before that?

Sometimes I do ponder on that..
Why that stupid piece of paper?
When we are out,

we NEED the paper BUT to get an unrelated job to that paper most of the time..

Isn't it..ridiculous??!!
After craning your head and all just to get those information in order to earn that little piece of paper that can be destroyed by burning or water or shredding but when we are out from the "mother's womb", most of it are unrelated..

Some of them might be saying you can get a job related..

YES

But, is it what you expected? Like the location and all? So, sometimes its not the education that has to be in consideration but also the location and also at certain point the willingness to be able to refrain oneself in working that long hours for a little pay like that..

In a situation like

Situation A: a job that you dislike (not within what you were educated) but it pays well (in a fair mode. not THAT great but better). Not to forget the convenience of the location and also the time of able to be sharp in and sharp out that enables to do other activities after working hours.

Situation B: a job that you love oh-so-much but the pay is really beyond low. Not to forget the inconvenience of the location and also the time of NOT being able to be sharp in and sharp out that limits other activities after working hours.

Which will you rather choose?

Your interest or the income?

If you say interest, the cost of living is not waiting for you. Its moving UP and never goes down BUT the value of money fluctuates. Today RM 10 is enough for a decent set meal at any fastfood centres but tomorrow that same RM 10 might be only enough for a little regular (not even large) fries at the very same fastfood centres.

If you toss interest aside and look into the income, can you retain MENTALLY in the company as you're always feeling missing the feeling of the things that you once loved to do?

As what people said.

Money is everything now but money sometimes can't overwrite what you like, loved or in interest.

BUT

Someone told me before

What is the purpose of working actually? You think people want to work if no money although they are interested into that field?

People work for money la Jade~ if you cakap pasal interest, tak payah la Jade~

True..
Think about it..
When someone tells you about a job scope you're so-very-interested but when the person said

no payment, voluntary purposes

Tell me honestly in 100 000 000 people, how many will say yes?
*rich, nothing to do or orang-orang yang bersekutu dengannya people are excluded*

So,

job = money never job = interest

But human are bast****
They tend to want EVERYTHING..
Being able to get income AND also job of interest and all..

I found it but the cloud did not stay too long..
It was already grey when I hop onto it..
I did not foresee it..
Although the income wasn't THAT great as what a person with a paper should get but I'm happy with it..
But, its all shattered to the ground..

I hate the person who gave me the chance to experience this and then shattered off my dreams away..
I feel like a lifeless winged person or or a little kid that someone had stolen my candy away..
I hate you so much!
You better get back to your feet so that me and others who were there and still there able to be there again!

Till then, *sigh* interest or income? It like asking for pleasure (interest) or for you life (money to survive)

**My apologies for the translation..this current computer failed to identify chinese characters..*sigh* I want to brush up on my chinese~ =(

God, please

2010-08-04T13:14:00.002+08:00

Gone with the wind with the days I dare say I was so looking forward every morning I woke up during weekends.

Hello the days I dreaded the most..

Its like God is testing me..
The moment that I let it go stale and and..
Its like a kid..her candy was being stolen..

I don't know what to blog..
I don't feel like blogging at all..
I just..want to leave

Thank you for everything

2010-07-30T09:40:00.009+08:00

Today is the day..
The last day around here..
All were packed..
My cup that I had occupied the little space at the pantry..
The little plastic microwavable container for me to use the wave to heat up my lunch when after 1 month all people here will say "Jade DEFINITELY brought her lunch"

My crappy stationery..
My bottles of supplements
My scott's bottle
Everything..

I still remember the day I can for the interview, I scanned through the posters that were well posted on the notice wall briefly exposing first timers here on what this is all about..

I remember I told myself

I have to have this job

Its near..
Its convenient..
Its the job scope that I ever wanted..
All in one..

Then I was the one who stepped into the lab as my first day.

The first day I stepped into the lab, I was awed by the fact that it was well lit also so sophisticated and gigantic with secret-liked passage door form one section of the lab to another..

After a few more days of knowing this new home, it was more than convenience and job scope..the people here were equally great too..and thus, with a sincere heart I say

That had been my main reason to everyday get up with the rush of thinking working is great

How many chances that you get to feel the rush of wanting to go and work? I know it might sound crazy to you but that is the truth that I had in me

With that, I let my resume went stale and dusty in a file that I had a mindset not to touch it or use it no more but life is usually unpredictable huh?

As I had the last look of the lab was dimly lit, all benches and seats were pulled off..not what I very much expected to happen or experience..the place had been lesser with voices of the living around here because the number of living had been decreasing in here..

I had to leave..
Without a choice..

Before I went to rest for the next day ahead, I was wondering
Will I get to listen to honest random jokes?
Will I get to listen to random streetwise discussion instead of conversation that will only want to gain benefits in the end?
Will I get to see the sincere and truthfulness of someone instead of filled with some stupid hypocrite atmosphere?

Will I get to say Zarinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ and the one that they so called said she's like a "sister" or "nanny" (i-rissssssssssssssss)?
Not to forget those words of ahfongfong~, mook-mook~

My famous word when I joined here was: aHa~
Then it evolved to: sedihnyer! or so sad~
Then only it ended up to: Zarinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~,i-rissssssssssssssss, ahfongfong~, mook-mook~

As EVERYONE knows that I'm such green when I'm in and when I'm out, I'm even greener in all of you eyes..and forever will then be known as

The girl who cannot shut up and the girl who is forever crazy

As what Uchiyama-san told nimura-san when he asked about how am I after a month I'm placed. He said

Okie but crazy

P/s: Iris, you can now have your left side to be more peaceful already =P
To my supervisor, you can lay yourself to rest because you don't need to nurse a little child anymore..

Thank you for all the enlightenment in life. I dare say that I had learn so much ever since I set my foot in here everyday. Not only ion job scope but also being more open to how the big bad world is. Random conversations that might sound to be unfruitful and nothing much important had really make my day.

Although there ARE some unpleasant moments (faham-faham la kan) but THAT, I really wipe it off me and remain the ones that made me in the right track of mood..

I will really miss everyone here and I hope that we will meet one day..
p/s: zarina, let's beli baju anak lagi..ahaha

Thank you for the Farewell lunch for me and Lee Yin..its a quiet small do..as everyone was tired about the shifting and also have lots of thoughts in their mind

WAS my spot

Thank you Lee Yin

Thank you Zarina..biler la dapat sayer rasa chocolate dan kek kamu lagi ye?

Nice? Please visit her blog to check out her highly skilled decorative method..boleh order tau~ =) http://rezekiwalon.blogspot.com/

Thank you Iris for everything..from listening to me complaining, whining and being a child..

two takes and one more soon??

2010-07-12T10:07:00.009+08:00

Take 1:

Before the small do by the home..the usual routine of killing, noises, screaming, crying and stubborn-ness
还没开始得时候。。平时的喊, 哭和吵闹

All settled and here we go~

Thank you for the small do and the effort..

At this point..it made me ponder that kids now a day are really really lucky..
Back then we have images of kids from homes are poor, unresourceful and all but the actual fact that..well, besides the owning like clothing and all are indeed not much but they we treated by people..I mean, at home, we do things all by ourselves..cooking, cleaning, washing but here, there's someone being employed to do so..

Someone to cook..
Someone to clean..
Someone to even SERVE them!!

Talk about modern homes for the needies!!!

很想说“谢谢你们”。。
虽然是很简单的。。
但，哪一天让我觉得现在的小朋友很幸福了。。
以前我们会觉得孤儿院是一个很穷的地方。。
我们在家要自己洗和厨。。所有是我们自己做。。
现在：

有人洗。。
有人厨。。
有人 serve！！

Btw, talk about cake eating session!!! God, what a MESS!!
他吃到很恶心 =P

Take 2:

Okie, so I ended up in ~~Bel Pesto~~ Sakae..*Sigh*

Lebih-lebih meng-order sushi set...but okie la~ *using Uchiyama's tone*

The stranger claims a last few hours blow-off-candle session for a person that the stranger claims "little" with a little cake..

So, I presume its

a little cake for a little Jade??

**~~Hate~~ Thank you Mr. CG for that nickname la =P **

Thank you for all wishes and blessings =)

The occasion humour:
**When cake arrives**
Person 1: You did not mention anything so I presume you're busy so no celebration
Me: Omg!!! Do I need to ANNOUNCE it to everyone in the house or even other situations when I got up in the morning?
Person 2: Its 11? Not 12 July?
Me: *No comments as its not important if it was remembered or not*

Stranger 和一个小蛋糕来到刚刚好是几个小时 blow-off-candle session 给一个人， stranger 他自己觉得是 “小”
所以，我应该所：

小小的蛋糕给小小的“玉”

**谢谢 Mr. CG。。不是因为你，我没有多一个名

谢谢大家的祝福

Comment option went faulty~

2010-07-09T08:56:00.002+08:00

A STRANGER told me that he/she can't post a comment on my blog because the visual verification does not appear..

Well, just type your usual comments on the comment box and then just simply hit

Publish your comment

The next loaded page will appear WITH the visual verification..

Thank you

Have a nice day and happy comment-ing~

=P

Checklist

2010-07-06T15:24:00.003+08:00

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go

Here I am..singing this song again (Previously was when I went to Johore)
Let me see where I should begin..
Look at my desk..
Filled with..erm..stuffs..
(1) daily supplements
(2) stationery
(3) snacks
(4) documents?
(5) laptop clean up
(6) fruits clean up
(7) rest-back
(8) my trusty calendar

See, nothing had been strike off..I'm not starting a all..okie..I should..*sobs*

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go

有唱这一个歌词。。 (那天唱是因为去 Johore)
我不知道从那里开始
看看我的桌子一下。。
很多东西!!
(一) 我的维他命
(二) 文具
(三) 食物
(四) documents?
(五) format 电脑
(六) 水果
(七) rest-back
(八) calendar

我什么都还没 clean up。。
我应该开始了吧。。

Sigh

2010-07-02T10:47:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving..
I'm leaving..
I'm so reluctant to leave..
I don't want to leave..
But I have to leave..

I miss you my little unseen able with naked eye little rascals..
I can't meet you guys no more..

I'll miss the people around me too..
Hope to meet you guys again..

Things are changing..
We are changing too..

hmm..am I doing it right?
Is this the right decision?

**No translation for this post**

Who pity the educator?

2010-06-30T08:31:00.004+08:00

I hate it when people inform things last minute..
They wait for the very extremely last minute only to inform you..
Okie, so I was unhappy but not that massive until the sentence added that

I don't know your number because I forgot your number and misplaced it

For after 2 MONTHS of service??!!

I was furious because the person did not keep safe the information??!!
I was furious because I can replace it on the day that the person wanted that I can then arrange it for the person..it favours her, it definitely also do not interrupt my schedule..

*Sigh*

This is the 1st time from this one but certainly not the 1st from the same category of people..
I know kids are difficult to be now a day..
Highly occupied by tuition..
How often you see a kid running around the streets in front of housing area be it with their little football or bicycle or tricycle?
Very rare indeed

The world is becoming result minded..
Okie, I understand that education is important..
But, isn't their childhood are equally important as well?
Or or or..
They would rather to go shopping or whatever places but not allowing them to the little park or taman in front of or at the back of your very own house?
Hmm..cases of kids missing and whole load of schoolworks, tuition and extra schoolwork that the parent forces the kid to attempt it..is the answer

As much as the kid is going through..
There's no difference for the educator themselves..
Isn't it?
We are all human..
Lagi can cakap harga like in pasar..
Kata rumah tak jauh sangat so murah sikit..
For your information to all parents out there:
(1)tak payah ready?
(2)tak payah baca? You think your child will read it? I'M the one who reads it and constantly remind them the story..they don't even bothered to read
(3)I don't need to play along with your child's tantrums?
(4)ingat ajar dalam buku jer? Awak tak tahu yang kiter nih kena ajar dia org jgn kurang ajar juga
(5)ingat tak payah tahan some students who seems to menghina you sebab they have more "gold" (wealth) than you?

**You think kids are innocent now? Then it means you're still in the oldies**

All these and yet still have to put up a smile and tell them off properly..
Depan parents, *angels*
After they turned their back, *parents, why not set hidden CCTV to view it for yourself*

Sometimes, the price for the services are difficult to be calculated..
Because service is a very subjective labour provider..
Its not like a computer compartment..you can count how much it cost to assemble one..
But services that you're paying for are dealing with mental, physical, time and also the strength to provide the service..

我很恨如果您 last minute 才跟我说。。
为什么到 last minute 才说？？
我没那么不开心到您说

我不知道你的电话号码因为我忘记了和我不知道我把你的号码方在那里

两个月了好不好！！！

我不开心因为您没保持我的号码。。
我不开心因为我能改去您要的时间和不会让我的 schedule affected

这一个是第一次您这样但是不是第一次给“他们”
我知道最近,做一个小朋友很难
很多补习。。
我们现在要看到一个小朋友在外面玩?
真的很少了。。

现在父母亲很把 result 看了太重了
我知道 education 是很重要
但，他们的 childhood 也是很重要啊~
或是他们让他们去 shopping 而不让小朋友去玩在外面。。
他们的理由是：很多小朋友不见了和很多 schoolwork，补习，也别忘记父母亲也给他们 extra schoolwork
小朋友这么样go through
我们教师也一样
我们也是人

要谈价钱
说我不远
For your information to all parents out there:
(一)我不用准备?
(二)我不用见读? 你以为你的孩子会读吗?是我读给他听因为他懒惰要读。。
(三)我不用理您的儿子的脾气?
(四)您以为是 from books 吧了? 有时候我也要教他们不要 kurang ajar
(五)有些 insult 你的因为他们知道他们有钱过你

**您以为小朋友是我们以前的小朋友?**

我们作教师的还要把一个笑容和小声跟他们说
在父母亲得面前*angels*
他们走了，*parents, 您方 hidden CCTV 把自己看了吧*

Service，很难要 set 一个价钱
Because service is a very subjective labour provider..
不像一个电脑可以算他的费用是多少。。
Service deals with mental, physical, time and also the strength

Please say prayers for me~

2010-06-18T09:58:00.005+08:00

Thought 1:
*yada* *yada*

I know, that's how it sounds like to you for my recent posts..
So be it..

But, I still NEED to do that in this post also! *sorry*
Oh my god!! So many uncertainties happened these few weeks..
It was so unforeseen by us that it just happened right under our nose yet it slipped off..

The earnings where claimed to be secured..

Nevermind the privilege on not having an extra day off for all major rest days allocated

But,

I don't want to have an altered time frame!!

That's my main concern which troubles me oh-so-very-badly now..

God, please forbid THAT from happening *with much and excessive pledging*
Please let the time frame remains~
That is my very hyper main concern now..

Why?

Because it KILLS my plannings!! *Sigh*
God, please help me..
Please say some prayers for me..on this..*Sigh*

Thought 2:
He finally found new love..
I'm so happy for him..I really am..
But, with that reason for us to let go of our future together made me felt some tingling in me..
But, from the bottom of my heart, I really truly am happy for him..
May God bless him and his finally-able-to-be-his-other-half sweet always, be it for now until forever..

Thought 1:
你听到的是
*yada* *yada*
在上个 post。。

但是我有会怎样做了！*Sorry*
Oh my god!!很多不肯定的事发生了~
为什么我们没发现到了?

“他”说收益是肯定了。。
不里哪一个extra day

但！！我不能不里 altered time frame 的问题！！！
这一个事让我很非常不开心！！！

God!!求求“你”不要让这一个事真真的发生 *with much and excessive pledging*
我最烦恼的事。。

为什么?

因为这一个事会破坏我的 plannings!! *Sigh*

Thought 2:
**no translation for this**

watch your words and also the WAY you use your words and how you make your sentences!

2010-06-11T11:46:00.003+08:00

I hate people to mask their words..
If they mask their words but at the end the reason or meaning to it is the same, then its fine with me..otherwise, isn’t that just merely a darn obvious white lie?

For instance,

I’m moving back to my mum’s so that you will not have doubts on me having another girl beside me

Where the fact that the person actually to move back simply because

(1) The person’s mum told the person to do so
(2) The person’s working location is somewhat around the person’s mum’s housing area

But with accordance to that, the person twisted the story in order to mask his or her own words just to account credits.

This is what I meant by “masking words” a.k.a WHITE LIE!

Another way is

I know you’re feeling stressed when one kept on asking you for updates but we just want to know because we are also apart of it, not you are facing it alone

This is called “beating around the bush” BUT the meaning still remains there..
Only the directness towards the main topic has been made into a merry-go-round “joyride”..

Can you see the very transparent difference between these two situations?
Its such a frank exposure that one could not unmistakably misidentify it..

So, the “person” in account, please know where YOU stand to me disbelieve of you..

我很恨别人不说真话。。
如果他们 mask 他们的话但是没改他们要说的意思还是一样，哪就 okie。。如果不一样得话，你不觉得你是在说骗话吗?

比如，

我要 shift 回我的妈妈的家 so that 你不会乱乱想我有别人

其实那个人要 shift 因为
(一) 他的妈妈要他shift back
(二) 他的工作的地方很靠近他的妈妈的家
他要让好听一点儿和让他好像很为了对方。

这一个是我要说的 “masking words” 或是 “骗话”。。

另一个方向来说是

我知道你觉得很烦恼因为人一直问你 updates 但我们问因为我们是要知道因为我们也是 apart of it，不是你一个人

这一个是叫“beating around the bush”。。
他想说的意识还在。。
Only 他怎么样的方向来说是不一样吧了。。他把一个话转一个很大得圆圈

您可以看到哪个分别吗?
在很明显的 situation，没有可能有人会看错得。。

所以，哪个，希望你知道你其实在哪一个 ”stand”，让到我不能相信你

waiting~ waiting~ killing me softly!!!

2010-06-10T15:23:00.000+08:00

It’s true when the saying goes

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering

I’m waiting..
She is waiting..
He is waiting..
We are waiting..

I don’t know what to do..
She doesn’t know what to do..
He doesn’t know what to do..
We DEFINITELY do know what to do..

We are waiting, we don’t know what to do but we NEVER forget about it..

God, please spare us some light
Let things go back to how they were, please..

是真的如果有人说：

在等的人是很痛苦，忘记也是很痛苦。但，不知道怎么着更加痛苦

我在等
她在等
他在等
我们在等

我不知道要着什么。。
她不知道要着什么。。
他不知道要着什么。。
我们更加不知道要着什么。。

我们在等，我们不知道要做什么但我们不会忘记哪一个问题。。

God，给我们一点儿guideline吧。。
让以前, 没变过(我的“过”应该是错了)

Featured~

2010-06-03T08:58:00.002+08:00

Another day of post without photo..
okie okie..
This time I have photos to share..
你要说“多一个没有照片的post”
好，我今天有了！！

While we are unknown in Malaysia..

We were known in another Asian country!!

See!!!See!!That's me!!!MEEEE!!!!! =P (can you spot me?)
Okie so that was it..
We were featured..
Despite the huge whoo-ha about "rolling up the carpet"
Things were static here but in other branches, it wasn't static, yet..
Fingers crossed for the best..

虽然我们在马来西亚是unknown
但在别的Asian国，别人知道我们是谁=P
你看！！我在里面！！！=P
虽然很多rumours说我们"rolling up the carpet"
在这里，我们好像static，但别的branches，没static 。。不是，是还没static
希望不会static。。

So, this is the ever charming founder of us~ *with glassy, sparkling eyes*
这一个是我们的charming老板~

Every time someone comes other from the other side, simple and small gift will be presented to the "nations" here as courtesy purposes..
This time, someone brought HEART for each person here

每次有人来的话，他会买礼物。。不是很大的礼物。。是courtesy吧了。。
有人买“心”给每一个人在这里。。

All females said, "too cute to be eaten"
me: DITTO!!!..
Thus, I gave it away to someone =P (sorry Dr Hatsu..but we need to share love kan?)

女人说“太可爱了。。我吃不下”
我：对！！！
That's why，我给了别人。。哪个“心” (对不起 Dr Hatsu。。但我们应该share love kan? =P)

我=me

2010-05-31T12:56:00.003+08:00

I'm back..after the long MIA I had been..

So why the MIA?
Practically nothing much..its just me
and myself
and I
searching for myself, me, I..oh you get the point
on issues that I had long foresee them or rather they to ditch it out of my window at any second of me beginning to ponder about it..

At a point of myself being selfish on not sharing here and not trying to shove my nose into what's happening around me and also those people around me..I tend to realized that it was just 2 weeks or so that able to make humongous changes..

Even myself..

I had settled what I think its the best for me and the other party
I had begun being more..able to see what's fairytale and what's reality (although loads of people said I tend to THINK instead of FEEL to settle an issue)-I take it as a compliment *although I know its not*

Things that had been battling inside my mind, hopefully had come to an end..
I think this IS the best..

有是我了。。
突然我MIA。。
为什么突然MIA?
没什么拉。。
我。。在“找”自己。。
很多很多问题我不敢去面对或是不敢想。。我吧哪个问题忘记而不是想这么样要面对问题。。
我这么久MIA我看了很多变了。。
没想到，两个星期吧了会有那么多变。。包括我自己。。

我决定了我的final answer。。什么是对我好也是对the other party好。。
我也会看哪一个是fairytale哪一个是reality。。虽然很多人说我不是用感觉想但我是想。。(我觉得是好索然我知道很多人说不是 =P)

希望哪一个问题是solved了。。
我觉得我already做的是最好。。

Some people and you

2010-05-12T13:34:00.003+08:00

Someone who only connects to you only if you connect to the person..
If not, the someone will not connect at all..
When the someone finds something amiss, the someone blames you for the fact that you are the one who did not connect and the someone is awaiting for you to connect..

Fact 1:why the someone HAVE to wait for you to do the connection?
Fact 2:why when you are really busy, unable to entertain the someone, has it all to be blamed?
Fact 3:at times, do you realized that sometimes the someone plans all according to him/herself..as in if you can't make it, drop facts that you don't want to join in and the someone just put on a deaf ear and kept on with his/her plans

”有人“才会记得跟你connect如果是你跟那个人connect。。
不如得话，他不会跟你跟你connect。。
哪，有一天突然“他”觉得很久没connect，他又会说你没有connect他。。“他”在等你connect。。

Fact 1:为什么你忙得时候，你会be blamed?
Fact 2:为什么是等人connect，你不能吗？
Fact 3:有时候，你发现到你不能follow the plans，有人会不理and kept on continue with 他的 plans

男人看女人

2010-05-07T13:33:00.002+08:00

No matter what, although they do say it is normal that guys stares at pretty or hot or sexy or voluptuous lady, but still..we girls still don't feel comfortable with it, isn't it?

Its just like we looking..no..its STARING until the guy is away from our site and drooling over it..

Its like..maybe look, okie..I had to swallow it and say nuts but staring until where ever she goes..like she turns left the head turns left..isn't it..melampau?

okie,okie..
I know guys will say no..
Forget it..

I take it positive T_T
At least he is honest maybe..
But if the guy ajak me..like saying see that girl, wear like that and what not..
Then I think I can drain it down..
Maybe I just hate the person to curi-curi melihat kot..

这样normal他们说也好，但女人一定会不觉得不是很comfortable with it如果一个男人看美女。。
不是看而已。。
是STARING。。
如果一个女人看那男人人也不comfortable with it。。
看到她去那里，melampau了吧！！！
我take it positive
At least he is honest maybe~
但如果他讲你看她什么什么这样，应该我不会这样uncomfortable吧。。
可能我是不like it如果curi-curi看吧。。

A rebellious blogger

2010-05-05T13:21:00.004+08:00

我的第一得post！！！。。在another blog。。不是这一个。。呵呵
谁看了那个，我知道您要说我不应该这样写。。但，你不觉得我们应该让他跟exciting吗?
让我来吧！=P (也在希望老板不会说这样不能)

这一个是那个link:
http://www.ngs-biodiversity.blogspot.com/

谁讲你不能让Biology或是什么 -logy -logy exciting? =P

OMG!! My first post..at another blog..not this 1, of course..hehe..
Alright, for those who visited that site I've included in this post..
I know..I know..
The post had to be formal and dull because its something serious and all but don't you think we should spike it up a little tiny bit? =P

And, with that, your truly had spiked it up a bit..
(with fingers cross I will not get any disapproval *lip biting*)

Here's the link..
http://www.ngs-biodiversity.blogspot.com/

Who says you can't spike up Biology or whatever -logy -logy =P

Finally another outting

2010-05-04T12:20:00.008+08:00

我们有去森林了！！！
很累但是its worth it。。
每个人很开心虽然有非常多不能飞的draculla。。
这一个draculla是在土 (leech)。。

We went on a trip into nature again!!! *yay*
Very tiring but its worth it..it was fun..despite those damn blood sucking unable to fly draculla (means not mosquitoes)..they are more of those that mengesot-esot (leech)

A girlfriend said "Hey!! Can also BBQ here!!"

Actually, it is a fire place for you to keep oneself warm up again after a swim and also to burn off your rubbish..
Then she said..with disappointment, "oh, then..its no more environmental friendly~"
With that: FACT TAKEN

她所“也可以BBQ在这里！！！”
其实是fire place

I'll just let the photos do the talking

老板。。
像老板吗？

The owner, the one in charged, the master, the main personnel~
But he doesn't look like it huh?
Don't get me wrong..I'm not doubting on his charismatic ways or his way of handling things around..
Its his ability to enable us to blend and to be able to unintentionally forgetting the bureaucracy of how, who and what supposed to be..
Well, maybe this does not felt by others but I'm mentioning this solely on MY own behalf..not on anyone's behalf..

This is a very funny picture that I snapped =P
Everyone went awed at the wild chameleon that we came across and Nimura-san took out his sophisticated VIDEO camera, Uchiyama-san took out his sophisticated camera and Nurul-san trying to get a good view of the creature with her camera mobile phone..
I took this picture because they looked like paparazzi here!

Our interest:

Everything was marvelous but locals being locals..see what happened to the beauty of nature??!!!

SAD~

Well, at the end of the day~
I gained experience
I felt the fun and joy
We were so extremely exhausted

and some

Got the PAIN from the damn draculla

Random~

2010-04-30T11:13:00.005+08:00

**due to some of my friends are not able to read Chinese, I now, would post blog in dwibahasa..or tribahasa..sebab bahasa malaysia also..hehe..

上个post我知道很多错的字。。
但，我也会持续写中文虽然多错。。很谢谢我的colleague鼓励我。。如果有什么字我用错了他或是她会提醒我
我觉得我很久没写blog。。
太多烦恼了！！
应该不是烦恼吧。。
是很多很多我不想要得事发生让我觉得在这里工作很不开心。。
不但我一个吧了。。

The previous post, I know there's ample of mistakes on my chinese characters
But I will still carry on blogging in chinese although there's so many mistakes I've made so many mistakes that my colleague here being so supportive by correcting it when he sees any wrong character used..

*thanks*

I think I haven't been blogging for quite awhile..
God, I'm so stressed up!!!
Well, maybe not stressed..its more of like things that you don't want it to happen, happens made me had the feeling of not wanting to work as I'm happy no more =(
Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so..

但，虽然小朋友也很坏蛋但是他们让我觉得开心一点儿。
他们的存在带了快乐在我的世界里面。。

Well, with all these happening but the kids that I meet everyday lightens things up..although they are indeed very mischievous in their own way..
The little rascals did brought some light into my life despite all the ugly deeds that they had done..
Kids are always being kids

你看这一个小孩，很可爱。。他也很乖。。
有些小朋友坏蛋很不得了!!!

Look at this kid..he is cute isn't it? Okie, he looks very obedient and he indeed is..
But there are some kids who looked obedient but in fact god knows why he or she so “active”

谢谢，有些学生给我一些礼物因为(这一次，我的因为是对了！！！)她去了日本。。
通常Kitkat的包装是红色但，这一个包装是绿色的Kitkat。。
因为，这一个口味是Wasabi =)
特别吗?
也是巧克力但，不会辣虽然是Wasabi的口味。。

I would like to express my appreciation to my girl who given me this because she went to Japan for vacation and bought me this..
Normally, the Kitkat is red in colour but this one is very special..its green in colour..
why so??What’s so special??
Because it is a Wasabi flavoured chocolate
Its still a chocolate but it is not as spicy as the usual wasabi that we’ll be having in a normal Japanese restaurant

TEMPE!!!!
这一个是tempe。。我爱吃的。。谢谢Puvee让我吃这一个好吃的大马delicacy
我还不是很会这么样要厨tempe！！！
浪费了那包tempe。。
别担心！！我也是有吃完他！！没有浪费！！

This is my favourite local food..(thank you Puvee for the introduction of this splendid delicacy..okie, so its a dish but to me its a delicacy)
Its TEMPE!!!
*Yummy!!*
But I still unable to get the right formulae to get this tempe cooked..
As a result, I think I’ve wasted those packets of tempe given to me
No worries!!! I DID finish the tempe that I had badly treated it!! So no wastage happened =)

谢谢你的存在

2010-04-25T06:48:00.002+08:00

您应为这样要背叛我?

哪，您有想过我的?
那一天，您工作。。
没可能我说不要做。。

对我来说，不里哪一个日子也好，不是说或是那个人得心是要跟您是最重要吗？
您自己说"如果一个人要being killed也有原因为什么你不能跟我讲原因"？

Then what about now？？？？

您，忘记您说过的话但我会。。永远记得。。
不知道为什么我会记得。。

希望您会找到一个会真真的让您明白什么是两个人的世界
可能我做不到或是做您不想要得。。
您要得，我做不到。。

或是您自己不明白什么是两个人的世界吧。。

希望您有很好得 memories 应为您给了我一个真的了不得的 memory 和您给了我一个真的了不得的悲痛。。

谢谢你的 memories。。
谢谢你的存在。。

這就是愛嗎?

2010-04-20T11:50:00.002+08:00

我找了！！这一个歌，让我觉得我们要好好的想我们爱或是以為愛吧了。。

你確定這就是愛嗎
真的愛我嗎
手牽著手漫步斜陽　就當作浪漫

兩個人眺望遠方
以爲愛的晴朗
當我回頭望　卻　已淚濕了眼眶

當夕陽變成星光　當愛情換了方向
你一如過往　對愛太緊張
但未來又會怎樣
未知的明天總讓我徬徨
誰給我力量

我不怕你　愛不愛我　
只害怕你　以為愛我
抓緊我　不算擁有　你總學不會放手

我不怕你　不懂愛我
只怕你　把習慣　當作愛
你猜不透　我要什麼

喔　你猜不透　我要什麼

Give a Dog a Home

2010-04-16T12:59:00.002+08:00

Hey, for those who would like to adopt a dog..feel free to drop by:

Date: 17 April 2010
Venue: Waterfront at Desa Parkcity
Time: 11am - 6pm

Paws Mission will hold its inaugural adoption drive with more than 30 cute and adorable puppies, mostly below the age of six months, looking for homes as well as several adult dogs.

Volunteers are also needed urgently to help in the daily care of these animals. If you are willing to foster or help out at the shelter, contact Fan at 012-205 2906, Sam at 012-290 0215 and April at 012-327 8060.

or log on to
http://everydoghasitsday09.blogspot.com/
for more information..

Thank you =)

a vast difference of morning and evening

2010-04-15T15:57:00.003+08:00

Take 1:
(Indirectly tell me to but acting like telling to the whole universe)Don’t log on to *for you to fill it in*
But the other people not very far from me ALWAYS or FREQUENTLY plays games at it at all times for long hours..
So, tell me,
On purpose?
Why watch me like I’m a mouse and you’re the hawk?
If it is so,
FYI, this mouse doesn’t go hiding..
And this mouse NEVER try to bribe you with a snake or whatever larger animal that a hawk eats as offerings..
My kind sister said “but, evaluation wise…”
Know what? I DON’T CARE..
Thank you for your concern..i seriously really appreciate it but at the very moment I’m sick and tired of all this shits..
Oh come on, I think its more like a crow waiting for its prey to die..
WHATEVER!

Take 2:

He came and distributed out gifts and someone started unwrapping it and everyone shouted for joy..
Then the whole lab started unwrapping it and comparing what each other gets..the rabbit and frog were nice but I got this:

Cute isn't it?
Well, its equally cute too..maybe I should get the rabbit and the frog myself..but
if I were to do so, I think I wouldn't want to anymore because there's no meaning towards it..

Thank you Goh-san =)
We will always miss you..

God, I thought I'll never able to open my mouth and talk so loud no more..even my colleague asked me why am I not talking like before..

As I mentioned he was the only one who dares to talk and triggers things around..

*Sigh*

2010-04-14T08:31:00.003+08:00

Finally the internet is back..
And I can FINALLY blog!!
*YAY*

Apart from the crazy off and on internet fiesta here..
The ugly black footwear arrived..

It looks like a footwear for school children but then it cost 10 times than the little kids wears those to school
With all the humongous and sophisticated paddings and all..
God, its like wearing a sweater on your feet!!

So a hyper expensive footwear was purchased for everyone here..but still, we still wear a cheap footwear (slipper) around
Ahaha
Comfort outnumbered price and value..
Just like life..

porn in phone

2010-04-06T11:41:00.003+08:00

Alright, this might be an interesting post for some of you all or to some, it might be a sensitive issue..

Recently, I accidentally saw a guy’s mobile phone,
Okie, this is normal right

BUT

The mobile phone..kept 20 over porn video clips..
Omg, Is it normal
Is it a small matter?
Not a big deal??

Honestly speaking, I felt so very damn disgusted..
I felt..

EWW!!!

In your mobile phone???!!!
OMG..

Too obsess?
Pervert?

So why does this happen?
Honestly, I feel very disturbed by this
I feel so extremely disgusted (恶心)

God forbid..
Why do guys or whoever are so obsess in all these
Why do guys or whoever watched all these..

Seriously I feel so disgusted about it..
So disturbed about it
Like a sex maniac is your friend or whatever it is

Cinderella loosing her glass shoe

2010-04-05T12:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes is it meant to be that way or its just me making it slipped off me?
Do I really need a break or its just me?
Do I really need to WASTE it?
Is it THAT essential that I need to scarify myself so much?
Why am I the only one..like a one man show?
I think I’m the one giving more than getting..
Is it because that..
There’s no chemistry between us?
As a matter of fact there IS NO chemistry between us in any way either
But why..WHY!!
Is it me?
Or I’m just trying to fit myself in a shoe that I myself unable to fit?
And now I tend to feel the shoe is rather tight and gave me blisters?
Previously it was just discomfort now blisters..
But in a surprising way..
Its blisters that doesn’t make me throw it away..why?

Maybe that’s the limit..
Giving too much too try to fit has its limit..
And now it is the limit..
But whenever you’re that limit, things will try to make it right again..
And then it loops again..
God, please..what does this mean?

Yea..maybe is the timing and the fact that I daresay it only worked one way..
I should be from the other side but why…?
Oh, how ironic..

As the English saying goes

If the shoe fits

Jade, the shoe doesn’t fit..don’t force yourself into it..besides, why are you doing it to yourself anyway?
That’s why they say,
Some things are BLIND

Is it me being so hurt that made me decide this or is it just the right way to undertake this?
You think time and distance will kill this?
At first I did said yes silently in my mind
But after awhile and suddenly it is in front of you
God forbid!
Some things are REALLY REALLY DAMN BLIND!

I know!!!why worry!!!

2010-04-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes some people can be a pain in the ass..
Why does always have to be me?!
Hello, I know what to shred and what not to okie!
I’m the one who is cleaning all the junk that you guys had previously pass it down to me..
There’s so many double or even triple copies if it..
Some are highly old printed worksheet that were not needed anymore..
And some laboratory safety and manual that all newbies has it during the very first day that they stepped their feet in here..
So I left it at the other side to pass it over to be used by admin because they are the one who handles all these..

And suddenly I was being blamed in shredding off those manuals..
Hello, they are like 1 cm thick of loose papers!
If I were to do so, do you think you won’t be seeing me standing there the whole day beside that bleeding paper shredder machine??!!

Jeez!

People come and go

2010-04-01T11:05:00.005+08:00

New month,
Same life,
*oops* Same ROUTINE life,
But he left,
As I mentioned before..things will be rather quiet around here..
*Sigh*

Goodbye, Goh-san

Oh well, when I arrived today..
I was surprised to see everyone was outside waiting for the key..
No wonder..the person who normally opens the door when to the other side before here..
So thank god I have it..

Then we notice someone in common..

Looks great huh?
But is it REALLY a leaf??
Look closer..

Its an insect!!!!

Wonders of nature..
But as usual..with it sticking around the lab..
Uchiyama-san WILL NOT allow it to go
Hence it is in a Falcon tube now..
All the best little leaf-look-a-like creature

How ironic

2010-03-31T14:04:00.007+08:00

Since young we always hear parents saying NOT to be fooled by advertisement be it form the idiot box, newspaper, radio or the internet..in short, in any media form

Yet we are aware of it ourselves when we tend to grow out of the situation of a kid being bribed a candy when the kid cries or shows tantrums..

Recently, way before today I read from a local famous newspaper about a datuk launched skin care products..I've already saw the product from our local green pharmacy personal store

Well, it did attract me when I saw it from our local green pharmacy personal store BUT what puts me off when I saw the slogan for the product

MY secret, its now yours

So tell me, what happened to

I used to use O_ _y Whitening Cream to keep me radiant..bla bla bla..my 10 years secret..bla bla bla..

and now

ACTUALLY I used this *you name the new brand yourself* and its now your secret

Tsk tsk tsk

I have no comments..

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okie, so I DO have a comment.. =P
But its short and simple..

How ironic can THAT be?

Something for you to ponder on..

Something new

2010-03-30T11:21:00.003+08:00

Ah!
I feel so unguided and time is running out..
I hope that I'll have a slight idea on how should I go about it.
Okie, if i were to complain and whine about it, people will say

Your Fault

Because I accepted something that I myself did know how to go about it..
But, that's something that you can learn and broaden your horizons, isn't it? =)
There's always something new that you'll learn or encounter in life..
And this is a new, minor challenge that I had involve myself into it..

With me not trying and just withdraw myself out of it before it even started will be not very pleasurable I must say..
Well, details, I can't mention much as I haven't even started to expose myself to the matter yet..
Fingers crossed that it turned up well =)
Well, if I'm able to conduct it, then its another extra that I can add up to my informal resume =)

whatever mood from now on

2010-03-29T14:54:00.002+08:00

People usually tend to pin point you or to judge you VERY carefully in everything you do just to kept on thinking “See what’s the mistake”

Just like a teacher when marking or assessing student’s masterpieces..
They tend to be very aware of it..
Some mistakes are obvious but some are so faint that you can barely ever notice them until you really are so focused into forking out a fault..

This applies here..

AH! WHATEVER!!

I’ll pretend to be

Hear no evil
See no evil
Speak no evil
from now on.

Besides, one left and things are dead around so whatever..

Saya akan bersikap
"ah, yela.."
"okiela”
"(although a good method but refused)"okie, up to you "

sahaja

whatever

2010-03-26T12:41:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog so much at 1st..

About the crap that had happened during the few early hours of work..

But after that, I thought..

oh, what the hell!

I sick of explaining myself..
Up to them what they want to think..
End of story

The real definition is no more there

2010-03-25T21:43:00.002+08:00

So what is the definition of tuition centre or home tuition now a day?

For the sake of just to sooth your heart because you DID went for tuition
Yet still did not score and blame the tutor or school teacher for it?
Or just like a TREND..when parents said
My child goes for this tuition and that tuition sounds like a very sophisticated-loveable-parent?

Then parents, tuition centres who think that way, I hope what comes around will come around..

The students are really extremely not well versed in writing at all..
But great in non writtng..
So, as a well established body isn’t you suppose to GUIDE them on where they are lack in?
But what I had encountered was the total OPPOSITE
No matter how much I explained..
The authority still press on the word “NO” in various ways to what I wanted to allow the student to practice more on what they are lack off..

So, tell me,
What IS tuition to you? Be it home tuition or tuition centres or in whatever form of tuition at all that are those extras apart from school

Then begin to ponder on me wanting to curb more gold that's why i did that..
Gold without being able to educate well, what's the point of educating anymore?

Tsk tsk tsk

Sayer nak "emas" ker the other way round yang nak??

Let me make myself CLEAR here that I'm NOT saying all that had something under their sleeves..

But pandai-pandai la melihat and membuat kesimpulan

sickly day

2010-03-22T13:35:00.002+08:00

Jade is sick
Thus Jade received a 京都念慈菴川貝枇杷膏 that is now sitting on her table to sooth her throat

and
an apple..
another was orange..
*End of story*

Don't bid me adieu

2010-03-18T10:29:00.002+08:00

Drama 1:
Staring at the lappie screen..
Staring at the four walls surrounding me
Staring the clock on the wall to strikes 12PM
And everyone gets up and sits in their carriage just like Cinderella did

ARGH!!!
Instead of manic Monday, it’s a manic Thursday..
There a saying that someone had told me before:

We only work 1 day, which is Wednesday..
Why?

Because

Monday - you can’t work because you’re still thinking about Sunday
Tuesday - you BEGIN to start to work
Wednesday - a real working mood
Thursday - you begin to feel tired
Friday - you’re thinking about the weekends..what to do and what not
Saturday and Sunday - holiday

Drama 2:
Suddenly, this song has been running in my head

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

With this short portion of the lyrics being extracted, I wonder how many can identify this ever popular musical movie melody..
To those who still can’t figure out its

So long, farewell from the movie The Sound of Music

Usually biding adieu to someone is difficult but this song made it so easy and uncomplicated..

If ever things in real life could happen that way

I wish I can in not to bid adieu to anything

Not by the heart but by LOAN

2010-03-17T08:39:00.003+08:00

You can't juggle everything when you wanted to do so huh?
All i can say is i'm NOT a freaking ATM
What do you think?
I'm a freaking billionaire when you get a job?
I wish I was..
SO why is it the other party doesn't have to and I'm being pushed and blamed?
The other party does this and that, that does not satisfy them, they don't make a hill out of a mole hill but they made mine out of it..
What's the problem?
Am i being picked by somewhere?
I did not say i'll just leave or whatsoever..
I'm an idiot who started from zero..
Isn't it wrong to plan?
So much more worried that a non relation personnel owe them something

Am i being picked from somewhere or what?
Who is on their feet all the time and who is the one complaining about not having a luxurious life that i never once complain at all?
Just leave me alone..
Don't try to poke your ass or you nose into my issue..
Go other the other party
Its like a loan to me
More than the heart
I'm being picked, i think

Finally outing~

2010-03-16T15:55:00.006+08:00

I wanted to go somewhere and I went..
We went into nature again..
Yay..after a long time of not doing so..
I felt blessed as
I was complaining to myself on wanting to go out just like I had on my Facebook..
and I got an adventure to follow suite..
Pictures for you to let you picture it =)
**p/s: FINALLY!!! Pictures on my blog!!!

The moment when we started..it was a long walk..belum sampai, 2 of us already mentioned "tired"..ahaha..so much for soil collection

Here we are..for soil collection and also as a training or introduction for our visitor from Sarawak

One of our interest

Something to feast our eyes on after walking around the whole morning in somewhere out of no where

I took this photo because Uchiyama-san with his cap wore that way that really conflicts with his usual appearance

Last but not least..
Happy Birthday Uchiyama-san
With love from all of us that given you a sudden surprise on the cake that you were so touched by it..
May your wish comes true and God Bless you

He is leaving, for good

2010-03-15T11:01:00.002+08:00

Every morning we usually have our usual manic “morning briefing” on a manic Monday..
Everything was as usual when the chairperson himself mentioned that he will be leaving the company after 7 years of his service here..
Although for the past few weeks I sensed some signs of he is leaving but I just shooed it away from my thoughts as it might not be true.

Although he wasn’t my supervisor..
Although he is so many years my senior..
Although his place wasn’t near to me at all but all of our positions are within ear shots if we were to chatter with our neighbours
All of us usually joke around and tease around although all of us might or might not be from the same group..
He was the person who kick out humour in the air and at times, human being humans..do kick out anger as he wasn’t in the mood..
But all in all, all of us here are still closely knitted..

When I heard his announcement..
I don’t know about others but I was devastated..
I hate transactions..
I hate people just walk in and out of your life..
Although the person is none other than just a colleague to you..
But you’re spending most of your days here and if they are closely knitted that what makes things worst when someone leaves..

Although I’m a newbie here but the warmth that they welcome you is like you’ve been here for ages already..well, of course there are at times where things gets ugly but it just depends on what and how you perceive it..

It depends on you wanting to keep the bad in mind at all times or the good or moderate in mind at all times..
It was still oh-so-very-sudden to me although I sensed a few signs before this coming..
Another outspoken person is leaving the company..
I shall have to remain myself quiet from the day he is leaving as most of the time he triggers then shout over conversation from this area to the other area happens and the “haha” that comes that my supervisor told me “Jade, must be serious in work..laugh laugh”..well, serious or not, you know best..i have no comments or I don’t even want to explain myself on that..

Initially, all I wanted to blog about was about the “teh O” that the home had offered me during my service..it was so extremely sweet that I can’t even swallow it..i had to choke it down instead but still I failed to finish up the drink..it looked like its untouched. Everyone had the same drink offered. The personnel drank it too but she made a face I thought she wanted to say too sweet but ended up she said “hot”..

Tsk tsk tsk

But all in all..the fact that someone is leaving the company engulfs the whole mood and blog for today..well, life is what it is..some people come..some people go..they just come, leave footprints in you and they just go..god bless everyone.

rainie yang-匿名的朋友

2010-03-13T16:44:00.002+08:00

杜松混合茉莉的風
回憶裡被愛那股悸動
天色好紅溫柔好濃
在胸口浮現你的臉容
一起活在這城市迷宮
提起你名字心還跳動
卻沒重逢
只有想碰卻又不敢碰的那種悸動
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂走進各自天空
該怎麼說讓彼此選擇
但思念還轉動

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
但所有如果
都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔
最溫柔

當又一次美夢落空
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅溫柔好濃
在胸口浮現你的臉容
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂走進各自天空
那是什麼讓彼此選擇
又不僅是尊重

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
但所有如果
都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔
最溫柔

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡
不能握的手
卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果
都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有
最永久

**让我觉得真的不能

JAde's on the right track for sure

2010-03-12T14:13:00.002+08:00

I can’t help it..
I can’t work because I need to blog..

At first I was laughing off about my wise one said that ended up not choosing both..
And it IS true
Dead true

Why?
Maybe because you’re sick and tired of choosing?
Maybe because you tend to think 1 is better than two (regardless of the ironic way of the ever happening song title now by the lovely darling, Taylor Swift)
Maybe you just know that both are not suitable for you
Maybe I just plainly made myself so busy that I find these another burden that I should not have with me..

So
I would like to tell myself to
Snap out of it!!
I have more things to do than these craps!
Like I have a whole list of my resolution to keep it moving..
Well, its not that I had neglected my resolutions..NO!!
Its in the progress and I’m loving it =)
Keep it up Jade-y~

Life is life

2010-03-11T15:11:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me

Will you consider having you ex-bf’s friend as your bf?

Wow

I’ve never thought of it before myself..

And I’m not sure either..because it hasn’t happen before..

Well, if it were to happen, it made me think..

If the person is really meant for me..shall I jus say no JUST because of my ex?

The answer is

NO

Why would I want to let my ex held me back from having someone that I think it is the one?

Yes, it will feel awkward at times as we tend to bump into each other more often..I mean the ex and I but
Hmm, sometimes, life is life..you have to face it and not avoiding it

Changes

2010-03-10T16:05:00.003+08:00

How do you tell someone that you're no longer interested in what so ever that had been done before?

*Sigh*

It weird to think that how people just get up in the morning and suddenly feels that

Hey, i no longer liking *for you to fill in the blanks*

With just a blink of an eye, things changes..
With just a second had just past, things changes..

Everything changes everyday is just that you don't realize it..
Everything you do, lies commitment..
Everything you do, lies responsibility..
Everything you do, lies effort..

Gren gren grass

2010-03-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

When somebody loves me,
Everything was beautiful,
Every hour that we spent together, lives within my soul

That’s how the melody goes with the title “When She Loves Me”

But is it there anymore?
There’s a saying that the grass is always greener on the other side..
But in time to come, you’ll realize, the grass is no longer greener..or both had the similar greenish colour that had been projected
Yes, both looked equally green to me now but, maybe in time to come, I might be able to see which is STILL green and if both so, which will be in a unique way with comparison on both left, right, above, below and sideways..all angles of green..

doubts doubts doubts

2010-03-05T12:29:00.002+08:00

Okie, so they had road closure here..
I was on the usual way then I was like “Oh damn!!”
I had to use the long distance way..
Okie, nevermind..its still okie.
BUT when I finally reached, the guard said

Pusing sana

Alamak, that’s the same road I came from..
I said I need to go to that building that you closed..how am I supposed to go?
He still insisted for me to turn away
And “Hello, saya kerja kata situ la..macam mana nak pergi?”
“Awak staff?!”

Alamak, I don’t look like a staff here??!! *sob*
Just like yesterday..
I was assigned to replace a professional as she could not make it..
Alright, so being the amateur, I went..
First, I asked how many pupils will I be expecting and the personal said “around 20”
When I was there, god forbid it was 33 to the exact amount!
I was oh-so-very-nervous..cold plams..heat beating..
Right, So the whole two and the half hours were rather quite anticipated by me as I had not try out so many pupils at one go..
It gives me back memories
The usual trend that we or I used to experience when I was a student..
Some lepak then balik kelas when its 5 minutes to time
Some masuk lewat
Some talks but they do their exercises
Some keeping quiet, writing frantically
Some quiet, writing but when pass up, its not what it supposed to be

BUT
Again I’ve been doubted..
As I entered, some whispering about why this girl standing in the middle of the room??!!
Then they realized I’m not here to attend the class only when they notice an attendance list and 2 markers in my hand..
When the clock strikes the time to begin, I begin to put on my thinking hat to uphold the task that I’m about to undergo first time and the best thing is WITHOUT any preparation..
But thank god, I was able to keep things within my watch
BUT
Again I’ve been doubted when I started my conversation..
Everyone in the class was just staring at me and trying to digest another fact that I’m speaking the national language although the previous fact that “I am conducting” has not been fully digested yet..
After, like, I was talking to the wall..
A boy made a gesture on signs on wanting me to go over to him..
Okie~
So I did
And he said “我不明白你说什么”
In me, I was like “WHAT?!!!”
Then I replied “二十七面~ 写karangan”
Then he nodded.
As I turned my back but not out of earshot, I heard him whispering to his friends “她真的是华人!”
Then another asked me “cikgu, cikgu~ cikgu umur berapa??”

AHAHA

I remained silent and they started guessing among he and his friend..
Another kid also asked the same question

Another doubt..
Hmm, I’m happy that I don’t look like what I am but..please la~ why doubt me~ T_T

So back to today..
We had some unofficial-so-coincidence discussion in lab..
Voicing out experiences, comments and all
It made me think..
Its true that what had been mentioned by the experienced one..
People tend to change from time to time..
Maybe he was Mr Right to you now
But it might not be in years to come
It depends on how you and your partner preserves it..

A colleague mentioned that her friend, registered but not officially told the public yet but on B&W, they are official..so they both work at different corners but staying under the same roof..the female was being transported to her working area by her friend who is a male..so of course they meet up very frequently..then maybe more than sending and all and she divorced with her hubby and I need not mention more

Then my colleague asked the experienced one “who’s fault it is?”
He replied “I will blame the marriage”
Why? Simply because he said

Marriage is about both parties who had to maintain it..why the inability to do so? There’s no reason why because they are staying together and all..nothing will be able to occur if it is strong..

Someone told me this before
And its true

Another enlightenment was
If you’re choosing between two chances of you NOT choosing both of them is high because you tend to see that both of them have flaws..like you said, no one is perfect..

To go for it or not to go for it?

2010-03-04T14:40:00.000+08:00

How much can you tell yourself that its okie?
To not to worry a single thingy..
Because it just what it has to be..

Should I express jealousy?
Or should I compress it?
At times, you try not to feel that way but it just comes huh?
Unless you’re confident of yourself which I, of course..isn’t..
But how confident yourself is, you’ll tend to have the negative feeling at times doesn’t it?

But you can’t blame yourself or the other party
Its just the way it should be
Just a thought to ponder is

Are you willing to have this situation in you forever?
If it is meant to be forever?
People said

Don’t play fire with fire

So, if you can’t take hold of something, please don’t still rub it in..
So it loops back to: what happens when what you wanted is something that you can’t or you find it difficult to have?

It all depends on……(drum rolls please) YOU

i don't know what to title it as

2010-03-02T23:04:00.004+08:00

Back to work again, as usual and i asked our expecting colleague how was the few-weeks-old-little-life in her now..

and she replied

No more

I stopped dead
I thought she was fooling around as she is the joyful-joker type of person
and she went on and on abt saying its gone and then it hit me right in my head that it IS real..no hanky panky..
Well, even i myself not being the expected mother was taking a few moments to phantom the fact that it IS gone, let it be the expecting mother-to-be herself..god..i felt for her..because she..or they had been trying for quite sometime for a life to grow in her and now..its gone..

God bless her with another soul in her again please

I hate it when the internet connection dies off while you're stranded in a place because you HAVE to be stranded although you can just flunk open the doors and just ride on your ride that is already siting under the hot scalding sunlight waiting for you to go home..

*Sigh*

I wonder when the connection will be functioning again

Have you ever encounter a situation when you want to hate that someone but ended up you can't because that person..macam tahu aje what is your intention and try to save it back and then it loops again..

To me, i think it is a coincidence..like what people usually says.."the plan" that had been planned by almighty for us..

My previous cell group discussion enlightened us on being patience on waiting for almighty's answer or reply to our prayers and she preached "a joke mentioned that a person prayed: god, i want to be patience so give me patience NOW"

Ironic but true..

Just like me telling god "i want an answer~"
I don't know why am i being so pushy ..
Jade, hush!! *Sigh*

It not just ding dong bells and that's it

2010-02-28T10:53:00.010+08:00

Had a brief chat with my long lost friend..

Suddenly he said:
before you tgk kebaikkan orang
you tgk dulu apa yg jahat tentang diorg
because, utk buat baik, kadang kala ada sebab
but buat jahat, takde sebab
make sure dia boleh hold tanggungjawab
sebab mostly orang2 skang ni
diorg cuma tahu bercinta jer
but tak tahu mcm mana nk pikul tanggungjawab
selain love
you kena care
you kena jaga
and you kena guide your partner

Fact taken..i also believe in
you can't only depend only on love and ignore others
What are others?
Like financial wise
Like education wise
Like living lifestyle wise

If no financial..how are you going to start a family? Not about the grown ups like us but the little rascals that you're going to have..
Not OUR education but also the little rascal's education..
Living lifestyle, the love and warmth of a family that suppose to have..yourself, your partner and the little rascals..

Some say so money minded
Well, its up to you to think about it..you think its so easy to just make a baby and that's it?
What's difficult is AFTER getting one..because we need to mould a new life into someone who is not "sampah masyarakat"
We also tak mau let the little kid merana kan?
How do you like to see your kids in a home with other kids because you're unable to provide them what they need as a child?

Educating, really allows my eyes to see more..
Mostly are wealthy kids from all areas..
Pampered..stuck up..disrespectful..treat you like dirt..
But this time I had a chance to feast my eyes on the other side of the story..

Its tough..
I shouted my lungs out..because there's too many of them..
I scolded because a kid said "Shit"..
I got miscommunications because some of the kids do not understand English or even our national language..
I got frustrated because i said "bulan warna kuning" and they coloured yellow BUT 1 asked "ni kuning kan??"

But at the end, I learn something from them also..
The home looks well polished..
With a decent area for education..
Thank you to the kind founder that set up this home without the hesitation of financial or deeds repayment from the extremely poor and those who do not have homes to shelter here until they turned 18 to be free as a bird..

I'm thankful to the personal who had assigned me to provide my service for the home although at times i really find it difficult to control a whole load of them with a vast difference in age gap among them..

I'm not that well off myself till i'm able to give them a helping hand..but I'll try to do my part the best i can..

They don't look or seem pityful from the eye but me, being a person who had seen both realm, the extremely wealthy and not..made me see what is within their heart instead of what that can be seen merely just by the eye..

It not the eye that tells you how to think..its your heart that does it

I daresay i can't provide a wealthy background for a rascal at anytime of my life..
But the ability to provide the RIGHT background instead of a filthy weathly background is more important..isn't it?
Its true when people say Too much of something or too little of something is bad
Things had to be moderate in life..
Life has to be multitasking..
A little bit of here and there makes up something

Current obsession:

教室裏那台風琴叮咚叮咚叮嚀
像你告白的聲音
動作一直很輕
微笑看你送完信
轉身離開的背影
喜歡你字跡清秀的關心

那溫熱的牛奶瓶
在我手中握緊
有你在的地方
我總感覺很窩心
日子像旋轉木馬
在腦海裏轉不停
出現那些你對我好的場景

你說過牽了手就算約定
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像來不及許願的流星
再怎麼美麗也只能是曾經
太美的承諾因為太年輕
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像是精靈住錯了森林
那愛情錯的很透明

太美的承諾因為太年輕
但親愛的那並不是愛情
就像是精靈住錯了森林
那愛情錯的很透明

**对不起**

My no longer a stranger

2010-02-23T11:46:00.002+08:00

Hmm..how should i put this..
It normal for a person to change ONLY when it is needed right?
Once my supervisor said: you only do something only if you needed it
Which is true..I'm no excel savvy but i'm lazy to learn it..i only learn it when i'm forced to because i need it for my work wise..
I admit, in this case because i have no interest at all
But if in a case that i have in interest in, i would naturally hands on working on it till a savvy..

I finally told the other party that there are other parties wants to be other parties..
So only this period other party only begin to show "jin zhang" in me..
If only two can be combined into 1 person..
It'll be perfect then..

An experienced person told me "Must know what you want..not only good..there's other factor you need to see"
So what i wanted?
I already had that answer
But at times things doesn't go the way it is in life huh?

If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty

a little bit of everything

2010-02-22T16:37:00.003+08:00

Take 1:
People around here were asking each other what they got for valentine..

A lady just rubbed her belly which indicates that he gave her a baby..alright..so we said we only want to know you're pregnant but not more than that..ahaha~

Another married man said "NOthing, when you're married already, no valentine for my wife"

Then the other chips in and say,"you're wife made you pregnant instead is it?"

Take 2:
How does the internet or the computer or whatever want me to read journals when the bleeding acrobat can't load??!!!

Take 3:
We eat and eat and EAT..it's forever eating here..i'm worried now..

Take 4:
Due to my great patience in waiting, after the two new years that had passed, its already passed my borderline..hence, i sent a warning letter to the respective company for not being able to pay me for the hard work i had done for them..

THEN, the person FINALLY called me..previously with smses that i had sent..the person..most of the time, do not reply mine..and NEVER answers my call..

Well, a letter to the company and go figure~

So the personal said: 3 days time
We'll see then

Take 5:
Anyone who has stuff to go?
Knew an orphanage that i can send it to, to help the little kids =)

pros and cons of life

2010-02-19T08:56:00.003+08:00

This is the last day of the 5 of us here in office to "bermaharaja lela"

After today its back to the "manic monday"

The week after the actual holiday for CNY makes me feel like its a brand new year again..

Me, still sticking to my resolutions that i had made..

How much is overload means overload?
To me, if things are manageable, its not being known as overload..

What is a bad choice means a bad choice?
What do you do when at times logically, you have to choose this path but your heart says no, it is THAT path when it is logically not a right path..
Which will you follow suite?
Your heart or logic?
Some say "Don't judge with your heart"
Some say "At times, you have to listen to your heart"
So which is which?
When to listen to your heart and when to follow the logic?
This is the most difficult part in life that i hate the most..
Life is too subjective to me..too much of a gamble..yet, we still gamble our life on it..
Then, this made me ponder that..does LUCK really exist or is it just coincidence or is it just faith?
No one knows the answer..God knows..and god is like telling us
For me to know, for you to find out
if we say our prayers by asking how our future will be..

I don't want to go the wrong path~ T_T
Am i in the wrong path?

Well, whatever it is i FINALY get to makan my Lei Cha Fan

*Yay*

Okie, this is OBVIOUSLY not my picture (you tau la kan, i can't make a picture go that way =P)

God, FINALLY i'm able to indulge that delicacy again..

But most of the people around me highly dislike it..maybe due to the taste of the coriander that they had added into the bowl..

God, i feel like saying 老板,给我多一碗

to be angry or not to be?

2010-02-18T11:49:00.003+08:00

I hate when someone judge something on my behalf..

For example: When we are planning for an outing or a meeting, the other party will just cut it off as they quickly end it up for me saying that i definitely can't make it when what i intend to do is to put everything in order to make all this work.

I hate it so much! and the other party loves to do that be it on me or other people..

Then, at the same time, the other party said something that made you pity them after the anger..

Then what should you do now?

Slap myself? or continue to be angry to the other person?

*Sigh*

I know..my bad..

This post has no point..ignore this

2010-02-16T16:15:00.002+08:00

There's a time in a situation that you're so extremely oh-so-very-bored

Jade doesn't want to study
Jade doesn't want to work
Jade doesn't want to eat
Jade doesn't want this and that
Jade is just..plain bored~

Alright so CNY is here or i should say FINALLY here..
So?

Issues that keeps you pondering and pondering are still there..
I wish time can just stand still now..
Keep all situation at it is now..
I hate changes..*Sigh*

Sing a song~

2010-02-12T12:38:00.002+08:00

I feel like singing along with:

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening, but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
Cause nothing's going right and
Everythings a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home

Why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind

Jade is thinking that she should slap herself up..
Wake up!!

Jade wants to blog but there are, at times..
*Sigh*
I don't know how to explain myself..

Wishing everyone a happy chinese new year and happy holidays..

Pictures, finally

2010-02-11T13:15:00.005+08:00

Right.. so i haven't been posting photos lately.. so here are the random pictures that i snapped oh-so-very-long-ago till the most recent one due to my laziness in transferring them to my computer..

From colleagues:

Believe it or not, its an egg..

Chocolate but i ate 90% of it already..hehe

Blueberry cheese tart from Berry's bakery..

Due to CNY mood this year, this is what we did

The "worms" that Uchiyama-san given me =_="

Rock hard cheese from Buthan..many thanks to Peter-san..Its called "Hard-cheese"..
Bau yang sangat busuk but the taste is like eating plastic..

THen,

My muffins

My egg tarts and apple tarts..i know..it doesn't look that polished..but at least i tried!!

Steamed egg cake (鸡蛋糕)

MY CNY cookies =)

And, here is my hit song now, DISNEY SONGS!!! haha..don't ask why..i'll tell you why soon..god, i think its going to be fun!!i try getting pictures when i'm at it =)

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

Valentine~

2010-02-10T13:15:00.002+08:00

My colleague received a bouquet of flowers from her other half..

Argh!! All girl envied her!!

Okie, including myself that although i think its a waste and cost a lot to buy flowers during valentine's day but a girl being a girl..ahaha~

Well, at least i have 2 sticks of chocolate to humour myself here

Sick and Tired

2010-02-08T09:35:00.003+08:00

In the morning, i had so many things in me that i wanted to blog..this and that..so very eager to do so but i can't because its not the right time..

Right..

Now, its the time that i can legally do so but i stopped dead here, looking at the screen projecting a very blank box with a blinking line in it, waiting for me to start blogging..

Well, maybe that's too much to be said that i ended up thinking "Oh, what the heck!Just forget and don't bother about it and go on like it didn't even occurred at all"

I hate people who says things harshly but asking opinions then ended up complaining about the 2 cents that the other party had given but also complain about their own 2 cents too..in a harshly manner..

Hmm..maybe i should look at the other side that the person actually didn't want your opinion at all..they just want to look for a punching bag to release tension..or just to yell at someone because they were unable to do so for a few days back as they are totally engrossed in themselves that they don't even want to just to mention a couple or few words to any other people beside them..

Shall i blame the person for that?
To me, its a no UNLESS the person just really want me as a punching bag and just dust himself or herself off and walk off..

I wonder the person knew that is what i felt when i met the person..
Anyway, i don't think the person ever give a damn at all as i can see it in the person's eyes that the person doesn't even give a damn about it..

Just my 2 cents that sometimes life..is not only a story..there are loads of storylines going on at the same time..isn't it?

Another thing i'm pondering on is..does EVERYONE loves to pick on new or a "small-fly" staff? Why doesn't the personal pick on others?

Oh, know what?? For both issues, WHATEVER!!!

I had really washed my hands off these issues and just let nature takes its path..

Just like addy once told me:
Jade, just try praying to God..ask him..which is the 1 just like i did and i really think this is the answer..

I've been doing so addy..i am..but as people usually says..god WILL give you the answer but its just a matter of WHEN..

After yesterday, i think i already had the answer from god..but he still left this doubt behind me although he given me the answer..God, why you do this to me..I'm really seeking for an answer that enables me to free myself from this..

I know..i know..you already given me but i'm the one who, unable to phantom your answer to me..okie, it takes time so god, i lay my thoughts on you for you guide me..thank you..

P/S: someone dedicated a poem to me and i would like to share it here on my blog..Thank you to the person who had written this for me but no worries okie, no matter what it is, we will still forever be friends so ain't need to miss me =)

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE
I WANT TO SHARE THE GOOD THING WITH

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN SOMETHING TROUBLING ME
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE
WHO UNDERSTAND ME SO WELL

I WILL MISS YOU
WHEN I LAUGH AND CRY BECAUSE
I KNOW YOU ARE THE ONE WHO
MADE MY LAUGHTER GREW AND MY
TEAR TO DISAPPEAR

I WILL MISS YOU THE MOST
WHEN I SAY AWAKE AT NIGHT
THINKING OF ALL THE WONDERFUL
CONVERSATION AND THOSE TEXT MESSAGES
WE SHARED WITH EACH OTHER
THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST
TIME IN MY LIFE

All in one

2010-02-04T12:33:00.002+08:00

Take 1:
As the chinese saying goes

Above your hand its flesh, the 1 below your hand is also flesh

So which will you choose?

I suddenly begin to hate life..why life has to be either or?
Why the best things can't come in one?
Why?
I just want one good "amulet" that i can depend on..
Why is it THAT difficult??!!!

*Sigh*

Take 2:
So we had to transfer babies and important enzymes and reagents to the other part of the world because in THIS world, prolong power failure will occur for 6 hours, the most..

Right, so our little babies had to sweat throughout the night while they are sleeping..

Some need to sweat some were being transferred to their new home with a new owner permanently..They ain't need our nanny service no more..

These babies are very not Malaysian..they need to be chilled..if not they will complain and whine and they mumble mumble and made noise and lastly die so we had to get heaps of dry ice to keep them happy..

ARGH!!! Hate dry ice..why? Because it killed my finger cells..got continuous frost bites..Can't feel my phalanges moving no more..*Sigh*

Take 3:
Jade is so sleepy..
Jade is very sleepy..
Jade badly wants to sleep..
Jade...ZzZ *Slap!* Wake up!!!
Just a few more hours..i WILL be able to make it!

The biggest moth is in Malaysia

2010-02-03T14:57:00.003+08:00

Isn't it a beau??!!!

God it is so huge that all of us here badly wanted to keep the moth to ourselves!!

Its the world largest moth and we get to see it here!!!

Check out this website for more professional pictures but sorry the website is in Japanese as Uchiyama-san sent it to me..

http://www.geocities.jp/banpayarn/yonakunisan/yonakunisan.htm

There's another 1 hanging on the lightings but sorry to say..its large but not THAT large and not that colourful but still it is a beau for us to feast our eyes on

Omg, the real beauty of nature that made your eyes popped out while looking at it with aww..it doesn't look that inviting to you based on the photos but looking at it right in front of you..the feeling is so difficult to be described by words..

All of us were so drawn into that natural beauty that we were unable to phantom the fact that "Hey, look at who had landed here"

Truly a natural beauty

wasn't THAT busy for cny before

2010-02-02T08:31:00.003+08:00

So here comes CNY

Its such a big deal that i had to work till wee hours for my mum..

She is there saying "I want this cookie, i want that cookie"

ARGH!!!

Well, i hope its the end of it by today..ahaha..

Jade Jade made a decision..
Jade Jade doesn't know is it correct or not
Jade Jade wishes its the best
Jade Jade say it MUST be the best
Jade Jade is sorry for those that will be hurt by that
Jade Jade is really really sorry (I'm sorry)
Jade Jade hopes it really worked well
Jade Jade hopes to get what she hopes for

At the same time:
Jade has so much to do
Jade has to juggle all in one
and
Jade had to neglect certain issues
Jade is really really sad and sorry about that
Jade wishes the best
Jade..doesn't know what to say..

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek; and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. [Matthew 7:7-8]

Everything is possible for him who believes [Mark 9:23]

hate being elder

2010-01-29T13:36:00.002+08:00

Life is so fated..

Do you believe in fate??

Does it exist or its us who created it and we considered it as "fate"?

When is the right decision when is not?

My colleague said "Must know what you want"

So, what i want?

I know what i want..but what happens if what you wanted is not fully what you wanted?

Sometimes, things doesn't turn out as what you expect it to be..
Sometimes, things also doesn't have to be your way to expect great things ahead of you..

As a saying goes,"things are best when it is least expected"

God, please give me strength to be wise and also to open eyes wide in whatever i do..

Will it be a success??
Can it be drag after awhile only to determine?

Need to stop being a coward..need to stop being a chicken and try out the risk, right? *glup*

I hate being a grown up..that's what i mentioned that "i NEVER want to grow up"

i admit i'm a chicken

2010-01-28T11:59:00.003+08:00

How do you know when you're actually a chicken for not being a risk taker?

I knew it now, well..not truly..i knew it a decade ago but it is PROVEN now..

So, face facts..we are all grown up..big boys big girls..from asking you to buy a candy to buying a shoplot or a house for investment purposes..

The game has got bigger..but not my heart..it remains the same size..a little heart of mine can't accept the risks that are ahead of me..

Go set up a business..
Go for an investment..
Go for share markets..

And i had butterflies in my stomach..

So how much is how much to start a business?
What if, tempat dah ada..
But publicity?
What business? Products or services..

So let's say i'll go for services..hmm..i'm afraid of the fact that no one is interested..if they do have someone..well, how many closed sales you need to have in order to cover up everything and also to earn the extra for personal use?

Its more of like a gamble..
BUt, i daresay i'm a chicken to gamble in all these..

Shall i give a shot?
Shall i not?
Hmm..

If ever we can see the future..ahaha~

Forget about business or investments..even myself i'm a chicken..
Starting a new life like having a family or whatever is a gamble in life too..
How the spouse is..
How to educate the little ones..
How to be a breadwinner, be it the main or the sub to ensure life..
How to have me time and also couple time without the little ones..

My neighbour once asked "when is your turn to get married?"
I answered "NO money to do so?"
And she snapped saying that "money is NEVER enough!SO if you say that is the reason, you'll NEVER marry"

Ouch, it hurts..but its true isn't it??money is NEVER enough..
Once it comes then it goes off so fast that you don't even have the little split second of admiring the thick notes you had in your hands..

Someone once told me "you think working a day for ..say..8 hours, you get that certain amount, you're satisfied already..BUT when you get the money, you spend it in a minute and all gone"

Well,its a fact though!!!

Hmm..well..to business or not
To invest or not
just like asking to marry or not..
ahaha!

God, i need strength

mixed feelings

2010-01-27T13:26:00.004+08:00

Have you ever decided something and then ended up regretting it?

Do i really feel regret or i just had a bad mood so everything also seems bad to me?

*Sigh*i don't know..

Its crazy with human feelings huh?

I'm here being so extremely reluctant to continue to sit here until working hours had pass..

I feel like..going home..

I hate going out without having a "swim" and maybe that tells me why i feel so reluctant now?

It is so extremely cold here yet i can't turn up the temperature because people around here are like those who used to live in Arctic or Antarctic..full blast fan with the lowest temperature that the air cond can go..and this setting applies to the 3 machines in the SAME room..a room that is as small as..erm..a classroom?

Half of us are putting on mask IN the office because half of them are unwell and this gives you the creeps every time you step into the office..well, it is normal for us to put on a mask because at times, weather you're sick or not, a mask is essential to avoid contaminating our babies (notice that is not because of our safety..ahaha)

There's so much i want to write..so much i want to tell but people will be saying "boring boring, too wordy~ no picture"..

Well, blogs are not only meant for pictures of food or some of your vacation pictures or goods that you want to sell or stuff that you just bought or to advertise your beauty by frantically clicking away photos that shines you or something funny or a deco or..well, you get the picture of what i'm trying to say..

If i were to saja saja just find gambar to post..alamak..there's no meaning to my blog anymore..sebab bukannya itu yang saya nak share or express..

Another thing that clouds my mind is..how much, till what extend that will someone helps the other? A subjective question again huh? Well, back to work..need to check out on how to make my babies more outstanding to the world..if i don't help myself, dream on, on having someone to help you..even you help yourself also tak ada orang tolong, apatah lagi if you tak help yourself?

crap..i just want to blog aje

2010-01-26T12:58:00.002+08:00

There's so many things to consider in life in all aspects huh?

For starters i tend to envy blogs or post in any form that poses great, flaky and soft muffins because i can't get it done that way yet!!! &^%$^^%&^^*&

Then, moving on to..why not being able to earn more~ to buy baju lawa..maintainance in any sorts..house etc..

Next, argh!!! My little babies are not being special..the are just..normal..*Sigh*
Come on kids, be special for mummy so mummy able to gain more and thus to be able to rare you more than dumping you into the autoclave machine that hits 121˚C or you ended up under high frequency of UV light..

On the a=other hand, another kid.."Hey, absorb all what i said well and PLEASE score" T_T

Moving on, the all time favourite Q everyday "What to eat" and forever i'll answer "anything".

A lame one is "ARGH!!!ANOTHER ZIT!!"